Posted on Sunday, September 13, 2015

Girl Fight: ‘Born Again Virgin’ Season 1 Episode 7 Recap

Hello World,

So admittedly, this recap is late as I normally post my recaps of “Born Again Virgin” on Thursday mornings! But when breaking news comes into play as it did last Thursday, I have to be prepared to roll with the punches so to speak. So please forgive me especially since it’s Sunday, and we’re going to church today 🙂 (You are going to church today, right?)

Considering the Floyd “Money” Mayweather fight last night, this episode goes right along with that as in this episode Kelly is excited about hosting a fight party! Apparently, the pr exec is known for her fight parties that feature her six-feet sub of “pure deliciousness” that she lovingly prepares herself. Donovan, on the other hand, wants to compete with her by hosting his own fight party that features his popular crab dip. Remember Donovan can cook! But for the time being, he acquiesces to her desire to be the only one hosting the fight party.

While Kelly prepares for the party that evening, Jenna fights a mean case of “Writer’s Block.” She is supposed to churn out an article entitled “10 Things To Do On a Date Without Having Sex,” but the born again virgin is bereft of any ideas which I don’t understand. For the record, there are plenty of things to do on a date without having sex. Here are just a few off the top of my head – dinner and a movie, a day trip, dancing – none of these has to include sex to be fun.

Tara, who is usually self-centered, helps Kelly prepare for her fight party by vacuuming their place. But knowing her friend like she does, Kelly knows Tara is up to something and asks what she wants. She asks to borrow $100 for “womanscaping.” However, she becomes undone when she discovers that her waxing lady has gone on tour with Beyoncé and won’t be back for some time.

Between Jenna’s mean case of “Writer’s Block” and Tara’s missing Wax Lady, Kelly is incensed that the two won’t take the focus off of themselves for once and help her prepare for her fight party. As she cuts vegetables for the party and chews out her friends at the same time, she cuts a chunk out of one of her fingers and should go to a hospital emergency room. But that would mean she would have to cancel her fight party and she refuses to let her friends or Donovan win in their attempts, whether intentionally or not, to derail her plans.

Now that Jenna and Tara realize just how important this party is to Kelly, they decide to handle their own problems. First of all, Jenna takes a shower as Kelly has been asking her to do all day so that she can get ready for the party. As it turns out, she gets ideas for her article in the shower! I have found that anything with an “ing” at the end helps me to get ideas – whether it is showering, running, driving…Tara waxes herself. While her results are not as good as Jenna’s results, she gets it done. Now the two can focus on helping their friend, who has camouflaged her bandaged bleeding hand with a stylish boxing glove, host the fight party.

But just when the fight is about to start and after Kelly party goers have begun chomping on her sub of “pure deliciousness,” she turns on the television to discover that nothing is on. Jenna forgot to pay the cable bill! Without the main course of the fight to devour, Kelly’s party is now a lost cause. Donovan, going in for the kill, suggests that everyone come over to his place where they can eat his crab dip AND watch the fight. Kelly, at this point, has no choice but to turn on her friends, accusing Jenna of sleeping with a whopping 50 guys (soooo that’s why she’s a born again virgin) and Tara of never having a real job! But the women find a way to end their fight as they watch “Mahogany” once their cable has been reactivated. They quote one of my favorite lines from the movie. “Success is nothing without someone you love to share it with.”

I believe the last two episodes of “Born Again Virgin” for this season will air this Wednesday, but according to Deadline.com, TV One has ordered another season of the show so the show will return early next year!

Any thoughts?

Posted on Thursday, September 3, 2015

Does Technical Virginity Exist? : ‘Born Again Virgin’ Season 1 Episode 6 Recap…

Hello World,

Disclaimer: This episode of “Born Again Virgin” was a wee bit more risqué than previous episodes so if you are shy about sexual topics, please stop reading now.

This episode was aptly and euphemistically titled “Secret Garden” so that should give a huge hint as to the direction of this post. In this episode, Jenna’s followers have asked her if you can have oral sex and still be a virgin. First, she discusses the issue with her roommates Tara and Kelly. Tara believes that oral sex is simply foreplay, but then she jokingly accuses Jenna of trying to find a “loophole in the virginity clause.” As Jenna realizes she is unsettled on the matter, she decides to seek out an expert opinion and meets with a woman who calls herself “The Headmaster” as she teaches a class on oral sex. And this is where things get interesting if you love the ’90s like I do! Remember the white lady on “In Living Color,” the hilarious sketch comedy show that introduced us to comedic geniuses like Jim Carrey and Jamie Foxx? Her name is Kelly Coffield Park (trivia sidebar: She was in my high school English’s teacher’s wedding according to him! Hi Mr. Stephens 🙂 ), and she portrays the

Kelly Coffield Park

“The Headmaster” in this episode. Obviously, their conversation, which Jenna is videotaping for her blog, goes over the top very fast! For example, the Headmaster says that “oral sex is today’s good night kiss” and takes out sex toys during their very public conversation in a restaurant. Well, alrighty then…

Kelly is having an existential sex crisis of her own when her mother mistakenly texts her sexy i.e. naked pictures of herself. When Tara sees the pics, she notices two things: that Kelly will age well as her as her body is concerned and that someone else must have taken the pics because she sees Kelly’s mother’s hands. So not only is the naked thing irritating to Kelly, the fact that her mom has finally moved on after her father’s death is also troubling. So Kelly decides to visit Historic Grant Park where her mother lives to see what is going on up close and “in living color” so to speak.

Tara, who thinks she is the hottest roommate of the three, is insulted when after bringing her latest dude Bruce home, she realizes that he has already dated Jenna when they were in college. He refers to her as “Jenna & Juice,” and they laugh it up. By the way they interact, it is obvious that what went down is that they obviously got down when they were in college.

So after Jenna meets with the Headmaster, she decides to ask random strangers in a restaurant about their views on oral sex. They agree to discuss their views on camera, and their answers runs the gamut. She realizes that for some, there are different degrees of virginity similarly to different degrees of vegetarianism. For some vegetarians, eggs, for example, are okay but for others vegetarians, they are not. Jenna realizes that oral sex is not something she wants on her menu and decides to adhere to a more traditional view of virginity. What is your take?

When Kelly arrives at her mother’s house, she meets Rob i.e. her mom’s sexting partner and new live-in and much younger boyfriend! Kelly questions her mother about her boyfriend and being faithful to her deceased father (whom she was married to for 30 years) to which her mother replies, “If you want me to kiss your father, I would have to dig him up. And he wasn’t that good of a kisser when he was alive.” She also explains that after Kelly’s father died, she joined the church and got a hobby among other options she tried to keep her occupied, but none of the options kept her “warm at night.” Just uhhh…Who wants to hear all that from your mama?! When her mother leaves the room, she has some real talk with Rob, asking him if he a gold digger or truly interested in her mother. He tells her that wonders of wonders, he is actually interested in Kelly’s mother and that she will have to get used to it. Kelly’s mother also tells her that she is partly to blame for her new relationship as Kelly’s main form of communication with her is via text as she is busy pursuing her pr career and isn’t really there for her. Kelly realizes that she should spend more time with her mother even if now she has to share her with Rob.

After Jenna’s uncomfortable reunion with Bruce, Tara has some real talk of her own with Bruce about what actually happened with Jenna. She tells Bruce that she doesn’t understand how he can like sweet potato pie and pumpkin pie, and that black people only say they like pumpkin pie to appease their white friends. (It is true that black people, for the most part, eat sweet potato pie while white people seem to favor pumpkin pie. Why is that?) He is obviously confused until she explains that she is sweet potato pie and Jenna is pumpkin pie. He says that he actually likes both. But his answer does not satisfy Tara’s ego, and she decides she just cannot see a man who has seen her roommate naked.

At the end of the episode, Jenna, Kelly & Tara dish on oral sex, Kelly’s mama’s delicious new bae (before anyone else…So I learned what bae means in this episode!) and sweet potato pie versus pumpkin pie in the kitchen. Jenna’s mom, whom we find out is white (so maybe she really is pumpkin pie), discovers Jenna’s blog and is mortified. I’m predicting some mother-daughter interaction with them in future episodes. Kelly realizes that her and her mother have the same taste and had she met Rob first, she would have sampled him too. Ewwww….Tara creates a poster board which she posts pics of her previous boyfriends and Jenna’s previous boyfriends to find out if their paths have ever crossed before the Bruce revelation so that they can prevent future relationship reunions and break the bonds of Eskimo sisterhood.

Any thoughts?

Posted on Thursday, August 20, 2015

Dying Alone & Other Single Lady Fears: ‘Born Again Virgin’ Season 1 Episode 4 Recap…

Hello World,

Remember the single lady who was dead alone in her London apartment for three years before anyone found her? Her body was so badly decomposed that she could only be identified by her dental records. Amazingly, when she was found, the television was still on…As a single lady, when I heard that story, I understood how such a tragedy could take place…I mean this is an extreme example, but if someone is not close to their parents or other family members and doesn’t speak to their friends every day and or out of work, I can see how someone could be dead and or injured for at least 2 to 3 days alone at home without anyone realizing that person is missing. So dying alone and not having anybody even notice was one of my fears when I was a single lady although my mama called too much to let that happen…

So that was a long introduction to last night’s episode of “Born Again Virgin.” The show was titled “Slaying Your Dragons” and was about the fears that ladies, particularly single ladies, have. The episode begins with Jenna and Tara debating which one of them is brave enough to kill a humongous bug that has landed on the refrigerator. Confession: One of the perks of being married is not having to be on bug duty anymore. Men totally get into being the protector of the home against evil forces including bugs 🙂 Anywho as the women are scared to even get near the bug, Kelly comes into the kitchen and promptly uses a high heel shoe to smash the bug right on the refrigerator!

In the next scene, Jenna is at a coffee shop when she overhears two women discussing one of their favorite bloggers, a woman who is chronicling her journey as a celibate single woman. Obviously, Jenna thinks the women are discussing her until she continues to listen to them and realizes that another blogger actually had the same idea that she had. Finally, Jenna cannot stand the suspense of waiting for them to reveal the identity of the other celibate blogger and crashes their conversation, asking the identity of the celibate blogger. When the women oblige and show her the celibate blogger’s website Chaste & Chill with Chelsea, she is shocked because she realizes that she knows Chelsea and had even discussed the idea of her blog with her when they worked together at a life and style magazine!

Meanwhile, Tara, the actress, is excited about auditioning for a new part as a teenager, particularly a “promiscuous young woman with Daddy issues” hence wearing a blonde wig styled into two ponytails. However, her ego is hurt when she discovers the director actually wants her to portray a mother in the production. That transition from being seen as a carefree, sexy single lady to being thought of as old enough to be someone’s mother when you are not is pretty scary. This realization happened to me when I started watching Empire…Check out my post “Why ‘Empire’ is Causing Me to Have a Midlife Crisis…” if you are interested in the specifics…

Kelly, the pr exec, is elated when she lands a huge account until her boss simultaneously praises and denigrates her! He tells her he is glad she is not married so that she can focus on her career and reveals that one of his fears is that someone will marry her and “put a baby in you” thereby decreasing her commitment to her job. Wow, the struggle is real for a woman who dares to have it all: a successful career, marriage and motherhood. Now, Kelly can no longer focus on her score at her job and instead focuses on the fact she has not scored so to speak in her personal life.

So what do single ladies do when suicide is not option and the “rainbow is enuf?” (My shout out to for colored girls who have considered suicide / when the rainbow is enuf by Ntozake Shange) Head to the club of course because as we all know a deejay can save your life (My shout out to the song Last Night a D.J. Saved My Life) Yes, as a woman of a particular age, my pop culture references go back to the ’70s and ’80s…hence my midlife crisis mentioned above…

While at the club, Jenna, who mistakenly took one of Tara’s valium pills instead of an aspirin she intended to take for her headache, is a complete mess. That mess is exacerbated when she runs into Chelsea, her blogger copycat. Instead of confronting Chelsea, who seems to be high on something as well, the women end up dancing together and making out while taking pictures of themselves to post on her social media accounts. During the girl on girl action, Chelsea reveals that she is not actually celibate and her blog is actually a lie. Tara attempts to ignore texts she receives from the production director as he is trying to convince her to take on the role of the mother. Worst of all, Kelly runs into an old boyfriend Andre, whom she broke up with, at the club. And not only does she run into him, he introduces her to his fiancée. Ouch. She attempts to forget about the run-in by dancing with another dude at the club. Her moves are impressive until she runs of the dance floor in tears as she is unable to dance away her heartbreak.

How does it all end? Because the show is only 30 minutes and has to wrap it pretty quickly.

The next day, Jenna discovers she has the video evidence to blow up her blogger copycat’s spot as she videotaped Chelsea’s confession without intending to do so. However, she doesn’t do so because she wants her blog to blow up on its own merit rather than by her tearing down other bloggers. Her fear (yes, back to the premise of this show) is that the risks she has taken in her career opting to be a blogger rather than having a traditional career won’t pay off. Somebody pass the offering plate because church was had in that moment…at least for me…

After shutting down the director’s requests to take the role of mother instead of the daughter, Tara decides to take the role thereby confronting her fear: aging as an actress and being invisible altogether. She takes off her blonde wig to reveal her hair: an adorable close-cropped cut at least to me. Long hair is seen as more youthful, but I’ve always loved a jazzy short cut. I’m not an actress, but I will say this. Not being seen as attractive as you age is a very real fear, particularly after you have children. I don’t know this firsthand as I’m not a mother, but I like what Kerry Washington from Scandal recently had to say about going back to her pre-baby body in Self magazine after having her first baby about a year ago. “My body is the site of a miracle now. I don’t want to be pre-miracle.”

Finally, Kelly meets with college sweetheart Andre after he realizes his club introduction to his fiancée may not have been the best timed introduction. During their conversation, she asks him why she wasn’t the one after she thought he was the one. Deep. He couldn’t give her a clear, definitive answer except to say that he wasn’t ready to be married when they were together because he didn’t have a good job and blah, blah, blah. When he met his fiancée, he was in a different mindset with a good job. Over my years of being single, I noticed that again and again with men. They can date a slew of wonderful women who are all marriage material, but baby, if they are not ready, it’s best to keep it moving. Then all of a sudden, those men wake up one day and decide they are ready…I swear the next woman they date, who may not even be as wonderful as the women they previously dated, ends up being the one…So after the conversation is over, Kelly has to confront her fear of not finding love again after “The One” got away.

So there you have it: my recap of Season 1 Episode 4 of “Born Again Virgin.”

I liked this episode better than last week’s episode, but I’m still not feeling the characters the way I want to feel them. When I really love characters, whether on television or on film or in books, they feel real to me, like I’ve met them before or want to know them. I still see them as actors. I love the premise of the show because it is so counter cultural, but I need more depth to really immerse myself in their world. On the plus side, the women look like friends and are adorable.

What do you think?

Any thoughts?