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Why I Don’t Have a Huge Problem With the ‘Sexist’ Sermon By the Missouri Pastor Who Tells Wives to Look ‘Pretty’ & Lose Weight…

Hello World,

Pastor Stewart-Allen Clark of First General Baptist Church in Malden, Missouri has been all over the Internet for a sermon he delivered last month in which he addressed a variety of ways that wives can remain attractive to their husbands! His sermon has caused so much controversy that apparently he is on leave from his church!

I’m not sure that I saw the entire sermon, but from what I saw, Pastor Clark begins by complimenting former First Lady Melania Trump. “Now look, I’m not saying every woman can be the epic — the epic – trophy wife of all time like Melania Trump. I’m not saying that at all. Most women can’t be trophy wives, but you know … maybe you’re a participation trophy.” As he said this, a photo of Melania Trump appeared on the screen behind him as he spoke. Politics aside, I do believe that she is attractive. He went on to say that men are “visual” and that many wives let themselves go. I agree that men are visual. Statistically speaking, I don’t know that many wives let themselves go, but I’ve heard it joked about by many comedians that they do… He went to say, “You should take great pains to look like the woman he fell in love with.” So far, I don’t see anything controversial about that. We all age, but aging is not synonymous with being unattractive.

And my mother told me that my grandmother told her at one point, after not seeing her for a while, that she should take better care of herself as a married woman. She advised my mother to step it up in terms of her looks and not take my father’s attraction for granted. My mother said she began scheduling more regular hair appointments after that conversation. My mother told me this years before I got married, but I definitely remember that conversation as a married woman. And truth be told, I like to be attractive for my husband, but I like being attractive for me even more. I stay tryin’ to “preserve the sexy” for my own sake.

The next topic, the most controversial one, he brings up is weight control. Now I must say, as he was speaking, I could not help but take notice of his protruding belly that was neither camouflaged nor slimmed down by his black shirt.  He mentioned that his wife managed to lose at least 30 pounds after each of the three children that she had. He said he even went to a Weight Watchers meeting with her, and then he said that his wife said, “Food never tastes as good as skinny feels.” Now when he said this, I thought for sure he would say something about his weight at that time but he didn’t. Weight is a personal matter, but for the sake of our health, we all know that we have to manage our weight. I believe that men are attracted to women of varied sizes, but if our weight is impacting our health or even our happiness, it needs to be addressed. And that is true for men as well. His biggest mistake when it comes to this topic is that while he was addressing the wives, he should have made a point of addressing his weight. He mentioned 1 Corinthians 7:4 which addresses that the bodies of a married couple belong to each other so it would have made sense to discuss himself just a bit since the sermon was geared to wives.

He also talks about the importance of wearing makeup, attractive hairstyles, age-appropriate flattering clothing, sexual intimacy and allowing husbands to be their wives’ “knight in shining armor.” None of his advice took me by surprise because I’ve either heard it from other people before. Yes, there were some biting jokes that were included, but sometimes people are too easily offended.

I would say more, but I don’t have the time. Check out the sermon for yourself here…

And I will also say this: I hope there was a female pastor or speaker who addressed husbands because husbands can do various things to remain attractive, externally and internally, to their wives as well….

Any thoughts?

 

 

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The Top 10 Blog Posts and or Magazine Articles for Black Christian Women in February 2021…

Hello World,

As it’s March, Women’s History Month, it’s especially meaningful that I’m back with my monthly roundup of blog posts and or magazine articles for black Christian women! Below is my Top 10 monthly roundup of blog posts and or magazine/newspaper articles for black Christian women for February, but you don’t have be a black Christian woman to to check them out. As usual, let me know if you like my list! Enjoy and share!

1. “The Naked Truth: Ayesha Curry Has an Image Consistency Problem. And Here’s How to Fix That” by Ericka B. 

Excerpt: In 2015, outspoken Christian entrepreneur and chef, Ayesha Curry, tweeted, “Everyone’s into barely wearing clothes these days huh? Not my style. I like to keep the good stuff covered up for the one who matters.” Fast forward to 2021, and she is now posing naked for a magazine shoot and clapping back at critics of her immodesty while denying that she ever told women to cover up in the first place. Despite Curry’s strategic posing to obscure certain body parts and pointing out that only her “shins and shoulders” are visible in the naked shot for ‘Sweet July’ Magazine’s body issue, many would argue that too much of the “good stuff” is being revealed. See more at: eewmagazineonline.com

2. “Vegan Star Tabitha Brown Is Writing an Inspirational Book and a Cookbook: ‘Such a Blessing'” by Sam Gillette

Excerpt: Tabitha Brown — the vegan food star known for her uplifting videos on TikTok — wants to encourage her followers in a new way. Brown is writing an inspirational book, Feeding the Soul (Because It’s My Business), PEOPLE can reveal exclusively. The new book will be published by William Morrow on Sept. 28 — and her own cookbook will follow. “I literally wake up and pinch myself at the thought of my life today versus four years ago! Then I hear my daddy’s voice in my ear, saying, ‘You only live once, but if you live it right, once is enough,’ ” the mom of three, 42, tells PEOPLE in an exclusive statement. “I couldn’t agree more! Living in my truth is enough, and it’s the best feeling ever.” “Sharing that with the world in my book is such a blessing,” she continues, “and my hope is that readers will take the same feeling away after reading it.” See more at: people.com

3. “Who is Stacey Plaskett, the Breakout Star of the Senate Impeachment Trial?” by Stuart Emmrich

Excerpt: As she began her presentation, Plaskett, 54, who was born in Brooklyn to parents from the Virgin Islands, spoke of the journey that had brought her to this historic day. “I’ve learned throughout my life that preparation and truth can carry you far, can allow you to speak truth to power,” she said. “I’ve learned that as a young Black girl growing up in the projects in Brooklyn, a housing community on St. Croix, sent to the most unlikeliest of settings, and now as an adult woman representing an island territory speaking to the U.S. Senate.” See more at: vogue.com

4. “U.S. Voting Rights Activist Stacey Abrams Nominated for Nobel Peace Prize” by Terje Solsvik&  Gwladys Fouche

Excerpt: U.S. voting rights activist and Democratic Party politician Stacey Abrams has been nominated for this year’s Nobel Peace Prize for her work to promote nonviolent change via the ballot box, a Norwegian lawmaker said on Monday. Abrams, whose work was credited with boosting voter turnout last year, helping Joe Biden win the U.S. presidency, joins a long list of nominees, including both former President Donald Trump and his son-in-law, former White House adviser Jared Kushner. “Abrams’ work follows in Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s footsteps in the fight for equality before the law and for civil rights,” said Lars Haltbrekken, a Socialist Party member of Norway’s parliament. See more at: reuters.com

5. “I Left the Black Church, but Its Influence Endures” by Shakilya Lawrence

Excerpt: Power, prestige and notoriety seemed to come from one’s standing within the church’s social hierarchy, which was sometimes exploited for personal benefit. The more I witnessed this duality and hypocrisy within the church, the more my perspective changed. By the time I entered college, I was questioning both my faith and organized religion, while starting to explore spirituality. Similar sentiments are commonly expressed by young Black adults today, and have been echoed by many of my closest friends. Though not all of us have moved towards spirituality, we’re all intrinsically connected due to our exposure to the Black church and its enduring influence in our lives. See more at: rewire.org

6. “Yolanda Pierce on Grandmother Theology, Black Jesus and Mariology” by Adelle M. Banks

Excerpt: Dean Yolanda Pierce of Howard University School of Divinity has been shaped by, and now teaches, womanist theology, the study of religion through the lens of gender, race and class. The first woman to lead the predominantly Black theological school in its 150-year history has written a book chronicling how that theology stretches back generations before the term was used. “In My Grandmother’s House: Black Women, Faith, and the Stories We Inherit” was released Tuesday (Feb. 16). See more at: religionnews.com

7. “Rev. Suzan Johnson Cook’s Black Women in Ministry Program Gains $1 million Grant” by Adelle M. Banks

Excerpt: A new program pairing Black women in ministry with mentors has received a $1 million Lilly Endowment grant. The Rev. Suzan Johnson Cook, former U.S. international religious freedom ambassador, and her home church, Union Baptist Church in Harlem, New York, have partnered on the R.E.A.L. THRIVE Initiative. The program includes women in the New York and Washington metropolitan areas as well as in Florida, Kentucky, Louisiana and Texas. The R.E.A.L. acronym stands for relationship building, equipping and expanding, access and leadership and legacy development. It will feature two groups of 25 senior pastors and church planters who will serve as mentors for women representing about a dozen denominations. See more at: religionnews.com

Excerpt: The signature elements of Jenkins’s work come together in spectacular form in “Wild Rain,” a boldly feminist narrative about a female rancher. “Wild Rain” is the second in the Women Who Dare series. In the first, “Rebel,” Valinda Lacey defied the Klan and some Black elites in New Orleans to start a school for formerly enslaved people and their children in the aftermath of the Civil War. In “Wild Rain,” Spring Lee defies family and societal expectations by running her own horse ranch in Wyoming Territory, where women in the United States — white and Black alike — first gained the right to vote. See more at: nytimes.com

9. “Auburn University Renaming Two Residence Halls to Honor Black Alabama Women” by Tandra Smith

Excerpt: Two of Auburn’s residence halls will soon be renamed in honor of two Black women from Alabama. Both Tiger Hall and Eagle Hall will bear Bessie Mae Holloway’s and Josetta Brittain Matthews’ names respectively, according to a release from Auburn University. The announcement comes after a Feb. 5 Board of Trustees’ meeting. See more at al.com

10. “This Orphan Has Found Her People” by Hope Venetta

Excerpt: However, in 2016, several people on my mother’s side got together and began research of our family history. They revealed their findings at a family reunion. It was your typical African American family reunion – a cookout held at a park, complete with matching T-shirts. It was here that I learned about my great-great-great-great grandmother, an enslaved woman on a Wake County, NC plantation. Her name was Feely. For some reason, finding her made me feel connected/complete/whole in some way. See more at: hopevenetta.com

If you know of any black Christian women bloggers and or writers, please e-mail me at jacqueline@afterthealtarcall.com as I’m always interested in expanding my community of black Christian women blog, magazines and websites. As I noted before, while this is a roundup of interesting blog posts and or magazine and newspaper articles for black Christian women, you don’t have to be one to appreciate these pieces  🙂.

Any thoughts?

 

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Dawn Michelle Hardy ‘The Literary Lobbyist’ Interviews Jacqueline J. Holness (ME) on IG Live Thursday, March 4 at 6 p.m. EST!

Hello World,

I’m so used to interviewing people as a journalist, but as a debut novelist, I am learning to be comfortable with people interviewing me…

Book publicist extraordinaire Dawn Michelle Hardy known as The Literary Lobbyist will be interviewing me about my debut novel Destination Wedding and more as a part of her Book Banter 2021 on IG Live on Thursday, March 4 at 6 p.m. See above for all of the details!

If you’re on Instagram, come see about me 🙂

Any thoughts?