Category Archives: Writing

Posted on

It’s First Lady Friday Featuring…Denedriane Dean, First Lady of Word Ministries Christian Outreach Church in Harrisonburg,Virginia!

Hello World,

During Women’s History Month, I’ve launched a new feature featuring First Ladies! In thinking about my mother who was the First Lady of Central Christian Church in Atlanta, Georgia for 38 years before my father retired in 2017 and after reading Kimberla Lawson Roby’s final Rev. Curtis Black book “Better Late Than Never” which explored Charlotte’s desire to not be a typical First Lady, it dawned on me that I should feature First Ladies, which are revered positions particularly in the black church. Everyone is always talking about what the pastor of this church and that church is doing, but First Ladies are equally as important as the pastors to whom they are married! So once per month, on a Friday of course, I am featuring a First Lady. So if you know of a First Lady who should be featured, please e-mail me at jacqueline@afterthealtarcall.com because I’m looking for notable First Ladies to feature!

So with that being said, let me present to some and introduce to others the First Lady of Word Ministries Christian Outreach Church in Harrisonburg, Virginia, Pastor Denedriane (Dee Dee) Dean…

Below is her biography followed by my interview with her. Read, enjoy and share!

Pastor Denedriane (Dee Dee) Dean is a lover of God and of people. She is a native of Hampton, Virginia, and a 1992 graduate of James Madison University. JMU is where she met the love of her life, Pastor Art Dean. They wed in 1993, and have three smart, funny and creative young adult children: Tre, Dominique, and Adia. Pastor Dee has co-pastored Word Ministries Christian Outreach Church in Harrisonburg Virginia, alongside her husband, since 2004. She oversees the ministries of Worship & Arts, Intercessory Prayer, and Thrive, a ministry to women. Together, Pastors Art & Dee are commissioned to build people, build community, and watch God change lives by the power of His Word!

*note: Denedriane is pronounced Dee-KNEE-dree-en 🙂

1. How do you feel about the term “First Lady” and is Word Ministries Christian Outreach Church the first church where you have served as First Lady? 

So I will answer it backwards. Yes, it is the first church that we have served as co-pastors. First and only. We started in 2004. It has been an adventure and a blessing. We started out as co-pastors right out of the gate. It was something that my husband really wanted so when he was installed as lead pastor, senior pastor, he recognized that I was in the trenches with him so to speak. I was ministering to people as well, not necessarily on the same level as him because he was the one who was called and appointed to be a pastor. By that same token, I was alongside him, ministering, going to visit people. You know, just very active. So he wanted a title for me that reflected that involvement in ministry. We started attending our church as college students. Eventually, we were invited to be youth pastors. It was right before we got married.

Now, as far as the term ‘First Lady’ is concerned, I think any woman who serves alongside her husband should be honored with some type of title. But I’m not hung up on titles at the same time. I’m just for giving honor when honor is due. We learned from our spiritual parents. I didn’t want to be too casual with our interaction with our spiritual parents, and I learned to give honor even in a title. I’m very comfortable with that title, but we don’t happen to use it that much at Word Ministries. They just called me co-pastor right off the bat. I think the term ‘First Lady’ is a bit regional too. Like in this part of Virginia, it’s not so popular. We’re in the northwestern part of Virginia so it’s a little bit rural and a little bit city. But the term co-pastor stuck so that is their term for respect and honor.

 2. What is the “job description” of a First Lady?

She is a ‘co-carer’ for the flock. For me, it’s distilled down to that. I lead various ministries but that is going to be different for each First Lady because each woman has different strengths or different callings with respect to her gifts. But when it comes down to it, I think our best job description is to care for the people alongside my husband.

 3. What is the best part and what is the worst part about being a First Lady?

The best part is to be able to influence and bring opportunities to other ladies. As God is giving me opportunities to see and experience new things, He’s also given me a heart to share that with the ladies, not only to ladies, but primarily with ladies in the church. I can share there is another way of operating, whether it be spiritually or practically, in life. I’m not perfect, but as I learn more, I want to share that with the ladies and be a positive influence. I share what God has done for me and where He has brought me from.

I think ‘worst’ is a strong word. But sometimes, being in this role can be a little bit isolating so I have to make intentional steps to be very connected to my family and other women who are in similar positions, other First Ladies, other co-pastors. There are things that we walk through and experience that you just cannot land with just anybody. They have to be strategic people that God has placed in your life who can handle what you are carrying or bearing.

4. What are some misconceptions that people have about being a First Lady?

I think sometimes we can be misunderstood in terms of approachability. People may think I can’t really talk to her because she’s the First Lady or co-pastor. She’s up there and I’m still working through my own stuff. Maybe I can’t be as open or as vulnerable as I need to be. But I think that me being willing to be vulnerable with them makes them more able to be vulnerable with me.

Some people may think we’re stiff, like I’m only going to wear this or think this way or whatever. So each First Lady has to be who we are genuinely so people can know, just because you’re in leadership doesn’t mean that you don’t enjoy life. It doesn’t mean that you don’t have things that you just gravitate toward. Like I love NASA! I’m interested in anything that has to do with space and my whole church knows that!

5. You are over the Worship & Arts Ministry at your church. Tell me more that ministry and your involvement.

I became worship leader the year before we became pastors. Over the years we’ve had arts involvement, but it’s mostly been worship. So we have seen different iterations of our worship team. We’ve had a full band. We’ve had a not-so-full band. It’s been an adventure. But we praise Him with whatever we have.

6. You blog on two different websites – your website refreshingtalk.com and travelingmom.com. How did you get into blogging and tell me about these two websites? 

That was related to my homeschooling experience. I homeschooled all three of my children at different points of their lives: the oldest and youngest all the way through and the middle one went to public high school in ninth grade. In saying that, I wanted them to write more so in 2010, I thought well, I’ll start a blog and they can write for the blog. Their blogging lasted for a hot minute, but mine continued. I discovered that I liked blogging and here I am, nine years later, still blogging. With the travel blog, it was something that I looked into. I found that it was a good match for what I wanted to do. I wrote for that blog for a year, but my children  started going through different seasons, like going to college, so I had to focus my attention elsewhere. But recently I have reconnected with travelingmom.com so I hope to do more travel writing.

Recently, I went to the NASA Space X launch out of my love for all things space. I was born and raised in Hampton, Virginia so if you know anything about the book ‘Hidden Figures’ and the people who that book is about and even the author, they are from the NASA Langley area or Hampton. We were kind of surrounded by NASA and all things space just growing up. It was a part of my  upbringing.  So NASA has what they call ‘Socials’ and you can apply to attend an event. If you get selected, you get to witness a launch or whatever the focus is and you get the opportunity to speak with people who may have missions on that particular launch, who have been working on something for a decade and now their particular mission is launching into space. I was able to tour the facility at Kennedy Space Center which was really a treat because that’s where all the history of NASA and all of the Apollo missions are located. It was a great blessing just to be able to go and feel that for myself. This is the second social that I’ve attended.

Click on THIS LINK to see a news report about Pastor Dee Dee’s NASA experience!

My first one was in Hampton, Virginia earlier this year. When NASA made their big Moon to Mars announcement when they laid out their plans to go back to the moon and then from there to Mars. So I was selected to attend that event. It was a one-day event. I’ve been bitten by the NASA Social bug so I plan to apply others as they fit in my schedule. My family and church schedule comes first so it was a blessing that this last event worked around my two priorities.

7. As you have three young adult children, are you an empty nester? 

They are still here. One just graduated from college. My oldest son is Tre and he’s 23 years old. He graduated from JMU this past May. Our middle and oldest daughter Dominique is a rising senior at JMU so she will be coming out in 2020. Our baby daughter Adia will be 19 in August. She’s trying to figure out what she wants – if her path will look similar to her brother and sister’s path at JMU. That is where Art and I met and that is how we got to Harrisonburg period. We met, finished school, got married and never left the area.

How sweet!

Again, if you know of a First Lady who should be featured, please e-mail me at jacqueline@afterthealtarcall.com because I’m looking for notable First Ladies to feature! And if you would like to have conversations about faith, relationship, pop culture and more, please click on this link to subscribe to my blog 🙂! Finally, if you missed the second post of First Lady Friday, please click on It’s First Lady Friday Featuring…Kirstyn Mayden, First Lady of Mt. Zion United Methodist Church in Upperco, Maryland!

Any thoughts?

Posted on

Dr. Lawrence M. Drake II Releases New Book ‘Color Him Father’ to Help Black Fathers Heal After Losing a Child – NEW BOOK ALERT!!!

Hello World,

As today is Fathers Day, I want to introduce a new book Color Him Father that was released to honor fatherhood. I’m reasonably sure that becoming a father is to a child is one of the proudest moments of a man’s life. But what happens when a father loses that child? You don’t hear about the latter scenario because in a perfect world, a child is a father’s legacy, living long after that father has gone on to be with the Lord. But since we live in a fallen world, sometimes a father will not only welcome his child into this world but he will also usher that child back to the Lord. Businessman Dr. Lawrence M. Drake II experienced that when his 41-year-old daughter Kia Nichol Drake passed away in 2017. She suffered from sarcoidosis and stomach cancer.

Although she only passed away two years ago next month, he was able to capture his feelings about his daughter’s life and her untimely death. In his poignant story, he admits that initially when he discovered that his then wife was pregnant, he was ambivalent. They were married college students and their budget did not include a line item for the birth of a child. In fact, he could not take home his baby daughter initially because although he had three jobs, he didn’t have health insurance. But once she was born, he delighted in his daughter, and he became a parent of a son about two years later around the time he graduated from college.

He writes about attempting to balance his ambition to excel in his career and family life, recalling that by the time his daughter graduated from high school, the family had moved 10 to 12 times!  He reveals how she began asserting her independence when she quit her high school’s basketball team after she scored the winning shot at a critical game. She told him she didn’t want the “pressure” of a being a star athlete. And although she was expected to major in business at Florida A&M University, she elected to major in psychology in part so she wouldn’t have to travel as much as her father traveled in his business career. She aspired to help battered women and other women in horrific situations as she experienced an abusive relationship in college. And in 1997, she graduated from college with a degree in psychology.

He reveals his admiration for his daughter when although she was diagnosed with stage 4 sarcoidosis in 2006, she “fought through her fears” to give birth to a son two years later at 32 years old. As I read his story, it gave me insight into how my father may feel or think about me. Although my father is a retired pastor, outside of the pulpit, he is a quiet man and while we have had many, many, many discussions over the years, I’ve never thought to ask him how he views my life and the decisions I’ve made. But from reading Dr. Drake’s story about this daughter, although we may not realize it, our fathers are thinking about us more than we know…

And if you would like to know more about Dr. Drake’s account of his daughter’s life,  you will have buy his book and read it for yourself…

But Dr. Drake’s story about his daughter Kia is not the only story that is shared in this important book. Below is the official description of Color Him Father:

It’s a brotherhood no man wants to join – the group of men who share the pain of losing a child. Whether that child is an infant, teenager, young or full grown adult, grieving the loss of a child is a heartache that can break the strongest of men.

Now, seven men who hold membership in that fraternity of fatherhood have come together to share the sorrow of their suffering. In their own unique voices, these men tackle perspectives of being a Black father that are rarely discussed.

In Color Him Father, you will step inside these very personal and intense stories of love and loss, tragedies and triumphs….But these stories will take you beyond the pain as they share their deep commitment to fatherhood.

Whether you’re a man traveling a similar path, supporting someone who has made that journey, or just want to gain insight, these touching testimonies will enlighten and educate people from all walks of life.

Released by Brown Girls Books, Color Him Father will encourage all fathers to renew their promises to their children, while motivating young Black men to become even more committed to the brotherhood of fatherhood.

Below is a trailer for Color Him Father:

Dr. Lawrence M. Drake II is an accomplished businessman, author, scholar, and emerging thought leader on the complexities of Black fatherhood in America.  For over forty years, he’s held a variety of senior-level positions at global companies, including Coca Cola, Executive Leadership Council, PepsiCo, Cablevision Systems Corp., and Kraft Inc. As the President and CEO of LEAD, a 21st century learning advocacy organization, he skillfully oversees initiatives that prepare the current and future generations of leaders for success in their academic and professional endeavors.

Based in Atlanta, Georgia, he is a life member of Alpha Phi Alpha, Fraternity, Inc., and actively serves on the boards, or is a member of notable organizations such as the American Psychological Association, Association of Black Psychologists, and Judson University. His personal interests include creating new memories with his wife, his five children, and seven grandchildren.

Below are the tour dates for the book, and for more information, go to: coloroffatherhood.com.

Any thoughts?

Posted on

Executive Produced By Stephen Curry & Viola Davis, New Documentary ‘Emanuel’ Comes to Theaters on June 17 and 19 Only!

A Review of the Documentary That Honors the Emanuel A.M.E. Church Shooting Victims & Highlights the Power of Forgiveness in the Wake of Tragedy...

Hello World,

Tonight, thousands of churchgoers throughout the country will convene at their respective churches for Wednesday Bible Study. Where Sunday Morning Service can be a spectacle in many churches, Wednesday Bible Study is less of a production and as a result, more relaxed. Many of those who show up on Sunday don’t on Wednesday so the gatherings tend to be smaller. In many smaller churches, the members gather in a room that is not the sanctuary and even sit in a circle of chairs. Although the church is primed for visitors on a Sunday morning, a visitor or two may amble in and be welcomed to the fold without much ado on a Wednesday.

Maybe that’s why 21-year-old white supremacist Dylann Roof chose a Wednesday Bible Study to show up at South Carolina’s Mother Emanuel A.M.E. Church, the oldest A.M.E. church in the South, to slither in and sit among the people he intended to slaughter. In the Bible, it says the Lord will show up like a thief in the night so we must be ready but the devil knows the Word too. Roof’s slaughtering of 9 Emanuel A.M.E. members, the historical threads that led to what unraveled that fateful day, the astounding forgiveness of Roof by the family members of those whose lives were stolen and more is explored in the documentary EMANUEL. Marking the 4th anniversary of this distinctly American act of terror, EMANUEL will be in movie theaters across the country on Monday, June 17 and Wednesday, June 19 only. I was able to see a screener of this movie, which is from executive producers Stephen Curry and Viola Davis, co-producer Mariska Hargitay, and director Brian Ivie, and I was in a word “moved.”

While the news coverage of the church shooting was rightfully plenteous, EMANUEL was an exhaustive exploration that simply cannot be covered in the constraints of a news story. It has been said that “nothing comes from nothing” and that is true in the case of the Emanuel A.M.E. Church shooting as well. Apparently, Charleston, where Mother Emanuel A.M.E. is located, is called the “Holy City” although the unholy had a safe harbor there. Charleston was the capital of the slave trade and roughly 40 percent of slaves who entered this country entered through this city. In fact, the amount of black people in Charleston was so voluminous that the city had a black majority. Freed slave Denmark Vesey, who helped to found the African Methodist Episcopal Church, planned to lead a slave revolt there until his plan was discovered. Vesey’s church, where he able to galvanize members to revolt with him, was burned after he was executed for his actions.

And then in modern day times, you have Rev. Clementa Pinckney, who was not only senior pastor at Mother Emanuel A.M.E., he was a member of the South Carolina Senate.  (Thank God for progress!) He spoke about black people having the freedom to be what God intended intended them to be and that sometimes death would be required for that freedom to come to fruition.  Saints, it was no accident that Roof choose Charleston and Mother Emanuel A.M.E. church.

Family members of the slain members were interviewed in EMANUEL. I was touched by all of their testimonies by I was most touched by the testimony of the Reverend Anthony Batiste Thompson, who is the pastor of Holy Trinity Reformed Episcopal Church of Charleston. Rev. Thompson was married to the late Myra Thompson, who was killed in the shooting.  Thompson, like Samuel in the Bible, was called to the ministry as a boy. While Samuel heard the voice of God in the house of the Lord, Thompson heard the voice of in a Piggly Wiggly parking lot! He heard someone call his name three times although he was in the parking lot alone. It was after the third time that he realized it was God and that God wanted him to be a preacher.

Many years later, on that tragic Wednesday night, he wondered why his wife Myra was so happy as she readied herself for Bible Study. He said she was “overjoyed” and “floating in the house.” He wanted to ask her why she was so happy because he had nothing to do with it. (Just like a man to say something like that, LOL. My husband is not only source of my happiness and he should be happy that’s true!) He said he decided he would ask her why after she returned from Bible Study so as not to affect her high. He usually hugged or kissed her before she left the house but this time he was in the bathroom just as she was leaving and she was in a rush. She told him to catch her at the car. But he didn’t get to her car on time either. He said after the shooting, he realized why she was so happy and why he couldn’t touch her. “God had already scooped her up.” Imagine that? She was already in the loving arms of Jesus. No earthly love can compare.

Thompson said it was the voice of God, which he originally heard as a five-year-old boy, that told him to forgive Roof and tell him so during a bond hearing just TWO days after Roof murdered his wife. Since then, Thompson penned his book “Called to Forgive: The Charleston Church Shooting, a Victim’s Husband, and the Path to Healing and Peace” which was release this month through Baker Publishing.

Many of the family members of the victims expressed their forgiveness of Roof, which shocked many and angered some. But not all family members were able to instantly forgive Roof. Melvin Graham, who is the brother of shooting victim Cynthia Hurd, has not been able to do so. While expressing admiration for those who forgave, he said, “I’m a work in progress.” I get that.

Other key points in the movie that affected me:

  • Polly Sheppard’s account that Roof let her live so that she that she could “tell the story.”
  • Felicia Sanders, who was a human shield over her granddaughter, watched her son Tywanza Sanders get killed, after he confronted Roof. Tywanza told Dylann that “we mean you no harm” but that did not matter to the terrorist. Thankfully before he passed, Sanders was able to tell her son, “Tywanza, I love you,” and his last words were, “Mom, I love you too.”
  • Charleston’s Chief Coroner Rae Wooten’s examination of the bodies revealed that Roof had ambushed them without warning.
  • Not only was Roof captured and arrested without being killed in the process, he was given Burger King.
  • When President Obama sang “Amazing Grace” at the homegoing for Rev. Clementa Pinckney. Lord knows I miss me some him. Can I get a witness?

There are many astounding accounts such as Felicia Sanders’ pink-paged Bible and Chris Singleton’s wrist-written Scripture, but I cannot give the whole documentary away. But hopefully, I have told you enough to make you want to see it for yourself. I highly recommend doing so…

Below is a trailer for EMANUEL:

EMANUEL focuses on the incredible forgiveness that was demonstrated by the victims and their family members, and how that forgiveness prevented potential backlash by the in response to the racially motivated crime. The movie was made in direct partnership with the City of Charleston and the families affected by the tragedy . The producers of EMANUEL will donate their share of profits from the film to the survivors of the shooting and the families of the victims

For more information on EMANUEL, please visit, www.emanuelmovie.com.

Any thoughts?