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Random Ramblings aka I didn’t have a topic but bear with me…

Hello World!!!

As I stated in my title, I don’t have a specific topic, but that’s okay…I think you will be entertained by the random collective of thoughts that have entered my mind lately…at the very least, you will feel sorry for me and perhaps leave a comment to make my day 🙂

1. Just to get it out of the way…What grade would you give President Obama on his first 100 days? Uh duh, if you compare him to our former president, that would be a high “A!” However, financial guru Clark Howard, who truly seems like a nice man, has criticized the Obama administration for its continuing involvement in bailing out GM. Yesterday, he asked his listeners what they want to happen with GM since we are now part owners of the company through our tax dollars…

2. Do y’all think the Craigslist killer’s fiancee had any idea that her man sought the erotic services of women on Craigslist not to mention what he did to them once they hooked up…To be fair, the medical student who had planned to get married in August hasn’t been convicted of the crime, but all of this has got me thinking…When you’re in a relationship with someone, can you really be completely fooled by that person…I mean you may not know that you’re man has a gambling problem for instance, but you wonder why he disappears so much…I briefly dated this old, married man in college…Of course, I was unaware that he was married and once I discovered that, it was over…But even before I discovered that, I could tell he was lying about his age…If you and your girl both sport Jheri curls in your high school prom picture, you were not born in the 7os….

3. A subscriber to this blog (yes, I actually have a few subscribers) said that she notices that black men (and she is black) don’t bother to hold the door open for her and other women while white men or men from other cultures do…she asked me to write about this phenomenon so I decided to pay attention and see if she had a point…I noticed that some men do and some men don’t, but I didn’t notice that one group was any more likely to hold the door open for me…what are your thoughts?

4. Would you think less of a Christian person if you saw him or her get tipsy at a party every now and then? Is it wrong for Christians to drink period? A little champagne never hurt anybody…

5. Should the “swine flu” be called the “Mexican flu” in deference to Jewish people and Muslims?

6. Is it possible to really fall in love more than once in your lifetime?

7. I will have an extended post about this next month, but in the meantime, what do you think of pre-marital sex for Christians? Is it really that bad? Is it just an antiquated Biblical notion clearly not meant for people who have waited well into their ’30s to get married…(Stop looking at me…)

8. Were y’all aware that Rev. Al and Warren Ballentine will be back on the radio in Atlanta as of today? However, their programs will now be broadcast on AM rather than FM…on 1380 WAOK to be exact…that’s good news! It’s soo not true that black people only want to listen to R&B all day long as a radio exec recently told me.

9. Is anyone else a fan of Lil Wayne? I know he seems crazy, but in some sort of impish way, he is cool to death…

10. Does size really matter? If your man presented you with a little bitty engagement ring, what would you do? This was a hot topic discussion among my girls a couple of weeks ago…I don’t have to have a huge rock, but semi-huge would suffice…I would rather have a nice house than a huge rock…But TRUST and BELIEVE, that does not mean I would be happy with a simple gold band…Would it be okay to go behind his back and exchange the stone if it was too small…Steve Harvey was talking about this topic as well…Have y’all read his book? What do you think?

Any thoughts?

P.S. Doesn’t Lil Wayne look like somebody’s baby boy desperately trying to be hard in this pic? Goodness, maybe I’m maternal after all…And I also included a video for his song with Babyface, “Get Too Comfortable.” Face can make anything sound good…

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I’m such a hater aka I sometimes break The Ten Commandments…

Hello World!!!

It has been said that confession is good for the soul. And so in deference to that adage, I confess that I frequently covet…

My earliest remembrance of this destructive behavior in my life goes back to when I was about six years old. A single mother who worked nights lived next door to my family and me.  In neighborly kindness, I guess, the single mother’s daughter, who shall go nameless, was allowed to stay over at our apartment each night. In the morning, her mother would come and get her. The girl was about a year younger than me and so we became fast friends.

But I quickly  noticed that this girl had things that I didn’t have. She wore name name brand clothing for instance and had jewelry even. In my six-year-old mind, I deduced that the reason my parents didn’t lavish name brand clothing and jewelry on me was that there was three of us and they couldn’t afford to spend their money on such frivolties. And I also deduced that my friend’s mama only had to cover two people, and that’ s why her mama could spend that way. But I was still jealous…I would try to comfort myself by saying to myself, I bet she wishes she had a daddy and brothers like I do…And that sentiment would work for a while, but then I would find myself thinking of what she had and what I didn’t have again. It got so bad that sometimes I would be up at night worrying about it all…Can you believe it? I was just six years old! That is sooo terrible…My friend slept in my room with me and that made it worse. Sometimes I would get up in the middle of the night and quietly open the door so the hallway light shone in the room and I would peer at a ring on her finger. I don’t even remember what it looked like exactly, but I do remember it was sparkly and reminded me of one of my favorite fairytales – Cinderella.

Fast forward nearly 30 years and I still find myself dealing with this insidious habit. I remember when I was in 20s and I was making $10 a paycheck at my first journalism job. All of my friends were going on trips, getting fabulous apartments and starting investment clubs…With my meager earnings, I had to live at home, and the only trip I could afford was the trip to work and back. As far as investments were concerned, I tried to comfort myself with the knowledge that I was investing in my future by taking a job in my field and getting experience. But I was still seething on the inside…and sometimes the vitriol spilled out…My father gave me countless pep talks during this time…He assured me that “my time” was coming…And he reminded that I chose a field that often doesn’t yield large earnings- at least at the beginning of your career, and I had to accept that or go into a different field. And he also told me that God had a purpose for my life and as long as I was in His will, I was where I needed to be.

Lately I have found myself hating on other people’s blogs or their careers. Here is what I think sometimes – Why her blog got all those comments? I’m a good writer too. Or why did she get a book deal when her topic is hackneyed at best?  I could write that story with one hand tied behind my back…Yes, it’s gets really ugly in my mind sometimes…A friend wisely told me maybe one of the reasons why my blog doesn’t get as many comments as others is because I am talking about religious topics and religion will never be as popular. That may be true, but one of my favorite blogs, a religious blog, gets scads of comments…how come my blog doesn’t? I swear I’m still six years old….

So by this time, I should be wrapping up now and telling you how I’ve overcome my haterism…I haven’t…but sometimes, I have moments of clarity after I have bitched and moaned about it to anyone that will listen…One particularly spiritual friend frequently states that I shouldn’t compare my insides to someone else’s outsides. What that means is that what someone has doesn’t necessarily equate to happiness. Over the years I have learned that is true. Sometimes I’ve been told to pray for the person that I resent. I’ve found that if I pray for the person to get everything I want in my life, I often find that I don’t feel as bad…And I recently discovered that some people want what I have. That makes me feel really good…I swear, I’m terrible, huh? And sometimes hate can be a good thing actually. Sometimes, it has propelled me to do things I wouldn’t ordinarily do…For instance, I can be smart about my money too…And sometimes the answer is to stop thinking about myself and think of how I can help others…Self obsession is a trap for sure…prayer is a good tool too…

Anyway, I don’t have all of the answers for sure, but I am REALLY interested in what you have to say. PLEASE post comments…or else…or else…I will talk about you to my friends, ha, ha (Y’all pray for me.)

Any thoughts?

P.S. Check out Canton Jones’ “Hater Day.”

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35 is…All the Way Live?!

Hello World!!!

“Forty is so old the only time I will ever be referred to as a young man for the rest of my life is if I die at 40,” said comedian Chris Rock in an interview with the now deceased Ed Bradley of “60 Minutes” on the night before Rock hosted the Oscars in 2005.

     As I write this post on my 35th b-day, all I can say is at least I’m not 40…Now my blog is supposed to be about faith after the altar call, and a post about my birthday may seem to be off topic – but it’s really not when I think about it. If I’m supposed to believe that life is supposed to get better, rather than worse, after 35, that’s a real act of faith (at least for me).

     Five years ago, just a month or so before my 30th b-day, my father and I sat in the living room of my parents’ home and talked about my impending b-day. As we talked, tears fell down my face. Yes, it really happened! My dad, a sympathetic man in most cases, looked at me as his head turned sideways and said, “What’s going to happen when you really get old?” I said nothing as the tears continued to slide down my face.

     A few months after I turned 30, the movie “13 Going on 30” starring Jennifer Garner came out. I ADORED the movie for many reasons!!! (If you haven’t seen it, you must – particularly if you are nearing 30 years old.) But my absolute favorite thing about the movie was this slogan “Thirty, Flirty and Thriving!” After I saw the movie, I said to myself, “Well maybe 30 isn’t so bad.”

     Today, five years later, I wonder what slogan or quip will help me frame this b-day in my mind. I’ve decided that “35 is all the way Live!” Can I get a loud “Amen?” (Maybe that will help me really believe it, ha,ha.) Seriously though, as I have pondered this birthday almost since just after I turned 34 years old, I have wondered how I’m supposed to see things. Let’s face it. Yes, I have advanced in my career (at least somewhat). Yes, I know more about myself than I ever have. Yes, I know God…But is that supposed to make up for rapidly graying hair that I have been dying cherry red almost since just after I turned 30? (My family grays early.) Is that supposed to make up for skin that already is starting to look not as taut although I work out on a regular basis? Is that supposed to make up for the fact that when me and my girls go out and try to “style and profile,” there is a group of similar girls that are hotter than we are just because they are still in their 20s? Goodness, I sound shallow, but don’t act like you haven’t had similar thoughts if you’re a female…self awareness ain’t everything!!!

     Jokes aside, yes, there are some downsides to getting older, but I actually do cherish the fact that I’m more confident in my own skin than I was in my ’20s although the previous paragraphs don’t support that. And for the record, I look 10 years younger anyway, according to a college student I met yesterday at a journalism convention. When I told her that my 35th b-day was the next day, unprompted, she said, “Wow, I thought you were 25!” I wanted to hug her. (Ironically, her name is Imani-so maybe that was God’s way of giving me a dose of faith after all, ha,ha!) But back to my more philosophical conclusion, I do revel in the fact that I’m more confident in my own skin than I have ever been before, and I thank God that He continues to reveal more to me about true self everyday and His purpose for my life- if that makes sense.

     So in keeping with my made up slogan, I have decided to be who I truly am – without apology or affectedness. What does that mean? For me, that means I will be the same person wherever I go…I have this habit of tailoring myself to fit whatever crowd I’m hanging out with at a given time – sometimes that’s the “cool” crowd or the “not so cool” crowd. (Yes, an element of that, unfortunately, still exists after high school.) Sometimes, it’s the black crowd and sometimes it’s the not black crowd. Sometimes, it’s the “Godly” crowd, sometimes it’s the “not so Godly” crowd.   I’m not going to do that anymore – or at least I will try.

     I just want to be me…I just want to live the way I truly am on the inside. I just want to be person that God has created me to be. Maybe “35 is all the way Live!” As you ponder that, check out this song, “It’s all the Way Live,” by Lakeside below. Any thoughts?