Michelle Got a Big Ole Butt…Now, That’s Change I Can Believe In!

 

Hello World,

About a week ago, some friends and I met at a forum my friend hosted to discuss various issues in the black community. Of course, one of those topics was the election of the first black president and the changes that are likely to take place in our community as a result. Many of the women, including me, spoke with pride of finally seeing a sho nuff Black woman celebrated at a worldwide level. For once, it seems that the ethnocentric standard of beauty rather than the Eurocentric standard of beauty won out…And no disrespect to my high yella sisters, but it seems to me that when many black men “make it” they choose to go for either the white girl or the closest they can get to it…But Barack, who is the next leader of the free world, chose a brown-skinned, black woman who goes weaveless. No disrespect to those who accessorize with weaves, but that’s cause for a celebration. Had this election occurred when I was a little girl, I’m sure it would have gone a long way to affirm the beauty that I sometimes questioned when I looked in the mirror…more about that later.

So when a friend of mine e-mailed this article to me a few days ago, I was delighted. I was also suprised that I had neither written nor said anything about one of Michelle’s most salient features.  In the article,  First Lady Got Back by Erin Aubry Kaplan, she describes her joy of seeing a woman with one of our culture’s most celebrated features in the White House.

“Free at last. I never thought that I — a black girl who came of age in the utterly anticlimactic aftermath of the civil rights movement — would say the phrase with any real sincerity in my lifetime. But ever since Nov. 4, I’ve been shouting it from every rooftop. I’m not excited for the most obvious reason. Yes, Obama’s win was an extraordinary breakthrough and a huge relief, but I don’t subscribe to the notion that his capturing the White House represents the end of American racial history. Far from it. There is a certain freedom in the moment — as in, we are all now free from wondering when or if we’ll ever get a black president. Congratulations to all of us for being around to settle the question.

But what really thrills me, what really feels liberating in a very personal way, is the official new prominence of Michelle Obama. Barack’s better half not only has stature but is statuesque. She has coruscating intelligence, beauty, style and — drumroll, please — a butt. (Yes, you read that right: I’m going to talk about the first lady’s butt.)”

Yes, that’s right Michelle, you can call her Mrs. Obama if you’re nasty, got a butt, and I, for one, say it’s about time that booties be celebrated at a worldwide level. Brothers, can I get an “Amen” this Sunday? One of the points that Kaplan makes in the article is how black women sometimes feel like we have to hide our booties to blend in at the workplace.

“Thanks to Michelle, looking professional and provocative in a distinctly black way will become not only acceptable but also part of a whole presidential look that’s more, well, inclusive. Now we’ll all be able to wear leggings to board meetings; we’ll sport pencil skirts sans the long jackets meant to cover the offending rear at big conferences where we have to make a good impression.”

As I said in my last post, I grew up in white schools. However, when I went home I was surrounded by black people in my neighborhood. This dichotomy created confusion when it came to my beauty and culture.  I remember in third grade as a part of a history lesson, my classmates and I had to dress up as American historical figures. A newspaper photographer took pictures of some of us and told us that we were going to be in the paper. I was crushed when I saw a picture of me and a classmate. In the caption of the picture, it was said that I was a “slave woman,” and the other girl in the picture was Betsy Ross. Umm, excuse me, Mr. Newspaper Photographer Man, I was Harriet Tubman!!! (If you couldn’t get that simple fact right, then you shouldn’t have been in the business!)  Incidents like this chipped away at my self esteem.

Around that same time, the little boys in my neighborhood began telling me I had a big butt. I did notice that my little girl dresses bunched up in the back but I wasn’t too self conscious about it until they started to notice. I also noticed that the little girl dresses on the white girls at my school moved easily over their backsides as they skipped along. (I won’t even get into my fascination with their swinging ponytails.) I figured if I noticed, they noticed too. So what was my antidote? Every day for a long time I started standing with my back against the wall and tried to tuck my butt in. I figured the wall would help me stand so that my butt went in rather than protruded.

It didn’t work. In the seventh grade, this guy, Francisco Ruiz, said to me, “Why is your butt so big?” (Yes, I still remember his name.)  I was flabbergasted and unsure how to respond. I,  after what seemed like ten minutes of stunned silence, finally uttered, “I don’t know.” After that I had had enough, and I was determined to go to a black high school. I lobbied for my cause for about a year.  As I said in my last post, my parents did finally relent and let me go to a black high school and from the moment, I walked into its doors, I no longer felt like I had to apologize for my big booty.  By the time I graduated from high school, I had totally stopped trying to camouflage my booty altogether. In fact, my shorts and jeans were probably too tight for my mama’s taste.

And now that I’m in my ’30s, there are even books to back up what I now know to be true. Having a big booty is like having “an open door that no one can shut.” (Shout out to my Bible Study class! Tell me if you can find where this excerpt of scripture is found in Revelation. Forgive me if I’m being sacrilegious.) Has anyone ever read  “The Rules: Time-tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right?” It is basically a book about playing hard to get as a strategy to get a man. The first rule in this book is, “Be a ‘Creature Unlike Any Other.” The feminist answer’s to this book is “The Real Rules: How to Find the Right Man for the Real You.” The first rule in this book is, “Treat Men the Way You Want Them to Treat You.” Both books have good points. But the third book,  “The Sistahs’ Rules (Not to be Confused with The Rules): Secrets for Meeting, Getting and Keeping a Good Black Man,” I can really get down with.  Rule #1 in this book is, “Celebrate the Power of the Booty.” Now, I know that brothers like to quote this line from Poison -“Never Trust a Big Butt and a Smile.” But they just frontin’. They know there is power in the booty!

Having a big booty can take you places in life – just ask Michelle O.

P.S. I wish I could go back in time a la “Back to the Future” and tell that my 8-year-old self! And since Kaplan referred to Sir Mix-A-Lot’s hit, “Baby Got Back,” in her commentary, I feel compelled to include his video here.

Any Thoughts?

 

 

God’s Economy: A Tale of Joe – The Mechanic

Hello World!!!

Whew! We have an extra hour of sleep today, but alas, since I am writing this post, I will have to catch my zzzs later!

With the election just over two days away (Thank You Jesus!), I thought I would tell my story about a Joe I know. Instead of Joe the Plumber, however, my Joe is Joe the Mechanic! Yes, his name is really Joe! I once read a Christian book years years ago, Knight in Shining Armor by P.B. Wilson, in which Wilson described “God’s Economy.” As our Provider, according to Wilson, one of the ways that God provides for us is through Gifts-in-Kind, which is “goods or services that God gave you through other people. For example, you moved into a new apartment and the manager waived your security deposit of $200.” After I read this passage, I started looking for ways that God blessed me with breaks through random people.

So nearly 10 years ago, I was sitting in a Honda dealership staring blankly into space as I pondered how I was going to cough up the $500 or so, maybe even a bit more, that I would need to pay to get my cracked head gasket in my black Civic (R.I.P. Black Beauty) fixed. After a few minutes, I figured that I would just ask my Dad to pay for it and pay him back later. However, as I stared, this woman came over to me said something like, “You know I heard them tell you how much it was going to cost to fix your car and that was outrageous! You know what I do? I just bring my car to the dealership and let them tell me what’s wrong with it, and then I bring it to my mechanic, Joe. And he fixes it for a whole lot cheaper. He’s a certified mechanic, and he’s honest. I can give you his pager number if you like.”

I looked at the woman and said, “Thank you. I will probably get the dealership to fix my car this time, but I will keep his number for the future.” So the woman wrote down his number on a slip of paper and handed it to me. I’m not the type of person that goes around getting recommendations from people for various services, but for some reason I just knew that I would be calling this Joe the mechanic in the future. And since my Civic was getting old at that point and it was nearly paid for (y’all know how that is), all kinds of stuff started malfuctioning and Joe became my mechanic. I would go to the dealership to get the problem diagnosed and then I would bring my car over to Joe’s house where he would fix the problem for a fraction of the cost quoted to me.

If you’ve been anywhere near my car lately, you have heard the brakes squeaking, and since I recently have come back from two trips, I didn’t want to think about shelling out more cash to get them fixed. So what has been my antidote? Y’all, I promise you that I have just been turning up my radio and acting like I don’t hear anything. And then when you have the nerve to look at me crazy while my car is squawking, I just start moving my lips like I’m singing the song playing on the radio and I don’t see you. (Wow, I was crazy embarassed while I was backing out of a long driveway last weekend, and my car was squawking the whole way. It would have been cool if people hadn’t come out of the house to help me back out because apparently, it is still a challenge for me.)

Anywho, when I went to the Honda dealership last week to get my oil changed, the oh-so concerned mechanic guy comes over to me in the waiting area and gives me a shopping list of services that need to be done ASAP. When I just stare at him expressionless and he realizes that I will not be buying into his hysterics, he said, “Well I know you heard those breaks squeaking and they do need to be fixed immediately.” I said, “I have, and I know they need to be fixed. Ima get my mechanic friend to fix them this weekend.”  “If they can last that long,” he said loudly. (He ain have to say that like that.) Then he gives me a sheet of paper outlining the costs of his recommendations. I hone in on the cost to fix the front brakes: $199 plus tax. Relatively speaking $200 is not a large amount of money, but when you have other pending bills – (In a perfect world, the speed limit would always be 80 mph on the highway…), you have to watch yourself.

So that was Monday. So I finally called Joe on Thursday. (ever the procrastinator!) I told Joe what was up with my brakes.

“So much you gon charge me Joe,” I said to him.

“$50,” he replied. (Side note – Joe always tells me what parts to buy at AutoZone, and he just charges me for the labor!)

“Really,” I said. “If I knew that it was going to be that cheap, I would have called you a while ago.”

He just chuckled in his men-don’t-like-to-waste-words way.

And since we’ve become friends over the years, sometimes he just comes to my house, picks up my car and takes it back to his house to fix like he did yesterday morning. And yes, he likes to flirt with me and occasionally ask me out, but it’s all good. He’s not pushy or anything so I say something like “Stop playin’,” and that’s enough for him to not ask me out again until the next time I see him. Of course, recently, he told me that I was probably too old for him now. However, he added that since I look younger than my age, he could make an exception for me…

So there you have it. In God’s Economy, He loves to bless you through other people. So it’s not only about what you think you have, it’s also about what God has… The possibilities are endless! That’s comforting to remember in these turbulent economic times…

Any thoughts?

P.S. That picture is not actually a pic of Joe!

A Change Is Gonna Come…

 

Hello World!!!

As we enter the last full week before the presidential election next Tuesday, I thought I would post a sober and reflective entry about “how we got over” thus far, and those who God has used thus far to exact change in the United States of America. ( will try anyway. I just love making people laugh!)

Last month at a journalism conference, I had the pleasure of meeting Charlayne Hunter-Gault, the first black woman to attend the University of Georgia. As she spoke about race relations during this current election cycle and compared and contrasted it with her bittersweet experiences at UGA, she mentioned that she is the daughter and granddaughter of ministers. Since I, too, graduated from the University of Georgia with a journalism degree, (I don’t care what you FAMU Rattlers say, I’m proud of my HWCU) and am the daughter and granddaughter of ministers, I knew I had to talk with her after her speech.

So as she signed my copy of her memoir In My Place, I asked her if she would be interested in being interviewed for my blog. She gave me her contact information and asked me to contact her later! But after a few weeks of playing phone tag, her daughter called me and told me that Mrs. Hunter-Gault was world traveling and wouldn’t be able to do the interview…oh well, you win some, you lose some…

However, I did read her book while I was on vacation, and I wanted to share some interesting passages in the book and my insights.

As I read her memoir, I was again reminded how the church has shaped many of the lives of American black heroes including Harriet Tubman, Sojourner Truth, Benjamin Mays, Adam Clayton Powell Jr. and Martin Luther King Jr. – and this is just a sampling… She wrote about being a part of her church’s annual Easter program, attending Vacation Bible School and traveling to church conventions – near and far. I can relate, I can relate. In another passage, she said, “the difference between my father and my grandfather as preachers was that my father was a minister – more cerebral, less theatrical.” That’s true for my Dad and my Grandpa (I know you’re in heaven, Grandpa!) too.  She wrote about a grandmother that fasted and prayed on Fridays. My dear grandmother, who is now deceased as well, used to scare me when she prayed. First of all, she prayed in a stream of consciousness way and a sob seemed to be caught in throat as she prayed. I could actually picture her vocal chords quivering. Plus she was loud! I always thought if the Lord doesn’t answer her prayer “just now,” somebody needed to so she could stop…

There are also a lot of interesting pop culture details for voracious pop culturists in this book.  For instance, Hunter-Gault attended Mt. Moriah Baptist Church in Atlanta, which is still in existence today, where she listened to her first elementary school boyfriend, William, and his cousin, Gladys, sing in the “Sunbeam” choir. They also sang at the Royal Peacock on Auburn Avenue on Saturday nights. (Y’all from the A know about the Royal Peacock!) Gladys, William and others later became Gladys Knight and the Pips!

I love history, but since I graduated from college, I haven’t been as motivated to read as many historical texts as I should. In reading this memoir, I was delighted to learn some Atlanta history that I probably should have known before now. For instance, civic and political leader John Wesley Dobbs, grandfather of the late Maynard Jackson, Atlanta’s first black mayor, was said to the originator of the term “Sweet Auburn.” Dr. King Jr. grew up in the Auburn Avenue area, which was and is a symbol of black pride in the city. Big Bethel, which is decorated with the words “Jesus Saves” on its tower, was the site of Morris Brown College’s first classes.

While she was in high school, Hunter-Gault and her family lived in Alaska. I wonder if she could see Russia from her house. (Shout out to Gov. Palin!) Jokes aside, maybe moose meat ain’t all that bad. Hunter-Gault described sampling and actually enjoying it. Her grandmother prepared it by marinating it with vinegar and onions and “cooking the stew out of it.”

Hunter Gault also talked about her decision to pledge Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Inc., which is, of course, the best sorority in the world! Of course, I’m bias! (OO-OOP MY SORORS!) “They represented the kind of woman I wanted to be: soft and appealing, clear-headed and strong without being strident. And I liked the fact that they seemed to have steady relationships with their boyfriends.”

When it came time to endure the jeering, taunting and even a gun-toting madman as she started her life at UGA, the voice of her grandmother reciting the Twenty-Third Psalm comforted her. “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for Thou art with me.”

I don’t know what’s in store this historic election and I don’t want to jinx anything, but even Hunter-Gault said she believes an aura surrounds Barack Obama. And a lady said to me yesterday that she feels that like our ancestors(a “cloud of witnesses” if you will) are gathering around here to see…it’s been a long time coming, but I know a change is gonna come…

Any thoughts?

P.S. Don’t forget to vote early. It ain’t a done deal yet! Barack the Vote!!!