America the Beautiful…

Hello World!!!

Do you think I’m beautiful? Am I sexy? Do you want me? Do you think I’m fat? I guarantee if you’re a female in the United States of America, at least one of these questions has run through your mind…but I don’t like speaking for other people so let me turn the focus back to me…

A few weeks ago, a friend and I watched the documentary, “America the Beautiful”on Spelman’s College campus. Doumentary director Darryl Roberts examined America’s unhealthy obsession with beauty from a variety of angles. The documentary starts with an interview of two pre-teens, one, an average looking black girl, and another black girl, Gerren Taylor, who becomes the focus of the movie. Roberts correctly notes that both girls have the same pre-pubescent look…you remember- long in the neck, scrawny in the arms, etc. but for whatever reason the first girl is considered not-so-attractive and Gerren is beautiful.

One day someone arbitrarily tells Gerren she should be a model. Gerren’s mother, who once dabbled in modeling, takes this stranger’s word and seeks the help of a local modeling agency to make her daughter America’s next top model. Gerren, who was once teased for looking like a giraffe, almost instantaneously (at least it seems that way) becomes a star and finds herself rocking the New York catwalk for some of the country’s hottest designers including Marc Jacobs, DKNY and Tommy Hilfiger.  And she’s only 12 years old! As her middle school principal notes, something is clearly wrong when the body type of a 12 year old is the standard!!! What fully grown woman can achieve the body of a 12 year old? And why the heck would any woman to?

I blogged about my own body images issues in other posts. Unfortunately, my issues began at a very early age, but I remember really beginning to devote some serious mind space to such issues when I was about 12 years old…appropriately, about the time that we enter puberty…Since my parents emphasized education in our household, thankfully I gained some self esteem from my grades, writing and other areas of intellectual pursuit – but alas I became a victim of the images that bombarded me as soon as I left the safe cocoon of my childhood home. I began reading Seventeen magazine when I was about 13 years old. Only a cursory look through its pages and you can deduce a few things: “white is right,” “if you black, you need to stay back” and “thin is in!”

Roberts interviews a few magazine editors during the documentary and the answers they give about why unrealistic images of girls and women are featured in their pages is utterly shocking. Basically, they realize they are contributing to unhealthy body image issues, but they gotta make a living… Perfection, as they see it, sells and reality is clearly not profitable…One of my favorite parts of the movie is when Dove shows how an average woman can look like a superstar model through hair, makeup and photo shop trickery. Dove’s Campaign for Real Beauty Rocks!!!

Women have been grappling with beauty/body image issues since Biblical times.  Here is an excerpt from Song of Solomon.

I am black but beautiful, O ye daughters of Jerusalem, as the tents of Cedar, as the curtains of Solomon. Do not consider me that I am brown, because the sun hath altered my colour: the sons of my mother have fought against me, they have made me the keeper in the vineyards: my vineyard I have not kept.

Song of Solomon 1:4-5

The woman in this book makes a point of noting that while she is dark, she is still beautiful. It makes me sad to think that blackness is not automatically associated with beauty…Roberts also gets into the whole dark skinned/light skinned issue that that black people are still grappling with even in 2009.scholarship

By the end of the documentary, Gerren nearly has a breakdown after she is cast out of the modeling world because she is too fat…At 15, she was a size 4…

So I have a few questions for you that I would like for you to consider and answer:

1. How has America’s unhealthy obsession with beauty/body image affected you or someone you love or don’t love?

2. Are you currently on a diet now? If so, why? Is it because you could stand to lose a few pounds or is it because you want to achieve a weight that is seen as more desirable, regardless of your body type?

3. What can we do to encourage young black women to see their beauty in spite of images to support the contrary?

4. How is the light skinned/dark skinned issue rearing its ugly head in 2009?

5. Are men now getting messages that they, too, have to be “beautiful? ” If you don’t have a six-pack and some guns, are you less desirable to women? My friend thinks so…

Any thoughts (on these questions)

P.S. I have included a couple of pictures that reflect my inner struggle with beauty/body image issues. In one pic, I had a won a scholarship to my university’s journalism school, but I was thinking about about my weight. In another pic, two years later, I had lost the weight. I was in a pageant, the Miss Atlanta-Jamaica Pageant, but I was worried about not being pretty enough or Jamaican enough for that matter, but I digress…

pageant2

The devil made me do it…

Hello World!!!

Can you believe it? It is almost the third month of 2009 already…It seems like it was just yesterday that I was in our nation’s capital celebrating the inauguration of our 44th president! To God be the Glory…

But y’all know that to every yin, there is a yang. So if there is God, there must be the adversary also known as the devil…I love thinking about God…well sometimes I don’t like thinking about God actually – particularly when it comes to something that I want to do when God has clearly told me that I shouldn’t do it…But I really never like thinking about the devil…just thinking about the adversary and his wiles make me scared actually although I know that God is infinitely more powerful than His adversary…but I’ve discovered that to not think about the devil is to give him more power because he exists…yes, he does…

Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walks about, seeking whom he may devour. 1 Peter 5:8

My father says that one of satan’s best tools is convince us that he is like the tooth fairy…that he is a figment of our imagination and doesn’t exist at all…that way he can wreak havoc in our lives and we don’t even know the source…if you don’t believe me, think back to when you have tried to do right…whether it be attending church on a regular basis, getting up every morning to have devotion, praying each day, having a testimony, etc…Didn’t it seem that there was some force that tried to prevent you from accomplishing your goal? I think that force is the adversary…

I’m an obsessive thinker…at any given moment, the same thought will be traveling through my mind over and over and over again…sometimes when I have experience this, it’s just me being me I think…but sometimes, when the thought is destructive and leads me into constant worrying and fear, I think that is a thought planted by the real evildoer (Thank God, we have ushered in change!!!)

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:17

This is a verse that I say to myself over and over again when an obsessive thought whirs in my mind…There are several verses in the Bible in which God tells us it is not His will that we worry and be in fear…Here is another verse that calms me down…

 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him,  and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

Because I know the Father, He is constantly leading me, and I can trust that He is leading although I have no idea where I am going…Here’s another way of looking at it…In my finite human wisdom, I can’t possibly know everything and everybody and whether this person or that person intends to hurt me or not…but God does…and IF you have given your life to Him, He has got your back….and your front and your sides and over and under you for that matter…surely, goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life…Praise Jesus!

My favorite apologist, C.S. Lewis, wrote a fictional account of a demon and his apprentice and the ways they tried to influence a newly converted Christian man to do wrong…think of the whole angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other shoulder scenario. I read “The Screwtape Letters” some years ago, and it is a brilliant depiction of what could be going in the spiritual dimension.

I don’t know much about the Minister Joyce Meyer, but I have been reading about her book, “Battlefield of the Mind: Winning the Battle in Your Mind” on the Internet…I found an excerpt of the book in which the struggle of a married couple is described. The devil planted destructive thought patterns in each of their minds based on their individual backgrounds, personalities and fears, and their marriage was suffering as a result…Of course, that was the adversary’s goal…

In fact, I sometimes gage whether I am in the will of God by how much opposition I experience in a particular situation…A few years ago, I wrote an article about the book, “The Prayer of Jabez: Breaking Through to the Blessed Life,” by Bruce Wilkinson. I even met the man. Although it was a religious article, I wasn’t working at a religious publication. Anyway, my boss was…well to put it nicely – let’s just say we didn’t get along…While she was reading through the article, she yelled at me from her office, “When you pray the Prayer of Jabez, do you pray for a new boss?” She cackled after she finished her statement…I am saved, but a few choice words ran through my mind (let’s just say one word rhymed with witch)…And then she gave me a hard time about the number of sources I had in the article and other stuff…it was opposition for sure…but the article was published as God intended…

Anyway, I could say more, but I won’t…

Any thoughts?

P.S. One way to defeat the adversary is to praise God…Here is one of my fave praise songs!!! This a great song for when you’re “going through.”

To Tithe or Not To Tithe…That Should Not be the Question!

Hello World!!!

The weather in the A is crazy, huh? It’s either tropical and raining or frigid and dry…Today is one of the colder days…somewhere in the 20s…that just ain’t right….

Anyway, let me get on task. So have you made your resolutions yet? As I said in my last post, it takes me the whole month of January to come up with suitable resolutions or more appropriately, goals. Some of my goals for the year will be concentrated on my finances. It’s an area I would rather not think about actually. This comes from my uneasiness about numbers in general. I think it’s just how I’m wired. I don’t know many journalists who are good with numbers. But alas, I’m 35 on the way to 36, and I still haven’t snagged a baller…so I guess I need to get my Plan B in gear.

But I must say I’m proud of the fact that I have been tithing since I got my first job in the eighth grade. There have been times due to irresponsibility and fear that I have missed tithing a paycheck from time to time, but for the most part, I’m a faithful tither. To tithe is to give ten percent of your income to the church. (One cannot assume that everyone knows what tithing means!) My father drilled it in me that if you give to the Lord what is due Him, He, in turn, will make sure that what is left is more than enough to provide for your needs. There is even a verse that describes this principle.

Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the LORD Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it.

Malachi 3:10

My father actually preached on this verse last Sunday. And this verse has been proven true in my life over and over again. A few years ago, I was going through a dark phase in my life. I was in between career jobs if you know what I mean. I was working at a department store in the mean time trying to make ends meet, but inevitably, someone would move the ends, ha, ha!  My roommate had moved out  leaving me with half of the money I needed to pay for my mortgage.  My car had broken down, and I didn’t have the money to fix it.  And right after I got the job at the department store, the department store shut down. I was so depressed I swear I didn’t open any bills for a few months. But during that time, nothing was turned off, and nobody came to get anything. I would like to think that my years of tithing had something to do with how the Lord took care of me.  And when I finally had the courage to open my bills again, the Lord granted me favor with the bill collectors.

My absolute favorite author Catherine Marshall wrote about her experience with tithing in her book Something More. (How a white woman who could have been a contemporary of my grandmother became my absolute favorite author is a mystery to me, but I just adore her work. FYI – Her work is archived at Agnes Scott College in Decatur. I once spent my birthday reviewing her work at the Agnes Scott College library. Yes, I am quite obsessed…) Anyway, Catherine Marshall’s husband Peter Marshall suddenly died leaving Catherine, who was a housewife, and their young son to fend for themselves.  In fact, they had to live off of $171 a month, according to the book. But Catherine decided to even tithe that. And the Lord took care of her. He told her that she was to “pick up [her] pen and edit and write.” Catherine became a best-selling author and has influenced generations with her work. The fact that a black woman with curly red dreads and who knows how to slow wine reads her work is a testament to that.  (It’s sooo cold outside that I’m dreaming of being in Jamaica as I sit at my desk.)

So what’s up? Do you tithe? Has God proven to you that He will take care of you if you put Him first? Let me know…

Any thoughts?

P.S. Since Jamaica is on my mind, I have posted a video of one of my favorite Bob Marley songs. It reminds me of watching my dad wash his car on hot Saturday mornings…