The Giving Away of a Daughter: A Father’s Day Meditation…

Hello World,

fatherAs you hopefully realize, today is Father’s Day! Last month, it seemed the world over celebrated their mothers for Mother’s Day with unabashed praise and adoration, but for many, Father’s Day is decidedly less shiny…If Mother’s Day is a sun high up in the sky, brilliant day, Father’s Day is a sun behind the clouds day, a day that could go either way…Maybe it’s because Father’s Day dredges up painful remembrances of fathers that did not live up to expectations for some…(Hallmark has even created a Father’s Day card for black women  🙁 )Or maybe Father’s Day is not as shiny a day as Mother’s Day because although children are created by mothers and fathers, mothers literally bear a more tangible connection to their children…

Thankfully, I cherish my mother as much as I do my father…I have written about my father in “Color Him Father, Color Him Love (An oldie but goodie…)” and “Reflections on being a Preacher’s Daughter Without the Reality Show…” and now I have a new memory to share…As I was preparing to get married almost two years ago, I was not only aware that I was taking Robert’s hand to walk with him for the rest of our days, I was also keenly aware that I was letting go of the hand of the man that had loved me best…My Dear Ole Daddy :)…And it made me sad even in the midst of my joy…And I was nervous too…Although I had been living on my own for many years, I always felt that my Dad was watching out for me…While we did not expressly talk about all of this, I think he was processing his own set of feelings too…Sometimes I would catch him looking at me. And though his eyes were directed toward me, but they would be focused on something or maybe some place else…

When it was time to actually plan the events of the reception, I waffled about asking him to dadandmedance with me at the reception…After all, this was the same man who showed up at one of my high school dances wearing his pajamas and a trench coat to drag me out of there…But my mom suggested I ask him anyway…I was surprised when he said, “Yes.” Our Father-Daughter Dance was kind of awkward, but I think it illuminated what was going on in our hearts…I imagine it’s incredibly awkward to give a daughter away when you remember when your daughter was just a thought and then that thought became a tiny human being that you watched grow into a woman…And as much I looked forward to moving forward with Robert, it was awkward to realize another man would be the keeper of the treasure trove of my heart…

And although that transition is taking shape every day that passes by, I’m glad I’ve (or rather God) chosen a man that possesses the kindness of my father…My father makes the effort to be kind to all living creatures from animals to human beings…I remember when I was in fifth grade, I had a fluffy black dog named Buffy and she would follow my father and I as we walked to my bus stop each morning. One morning, after I was picked up from the bus stop, a car hit Buffy and she died. My father carried my bleeding, dead dog all the way from the bus stop down a hill to the back yard of our home where he buried her…I see that same kindness in my husband when I feel like I’m about to unleash hell with my mouth until I look at Robert…He doesn’t even have to say anything. With his eyes, he tells that he doesn’t want to fight…And nothing makes you feel more savage than picking a fight with someone who refuses to do so…

According to an The Atlantic article “Masters of Love,” research has demonstrated that “kindness (along with emotional stability) is the most important predictor of satisfaction and stability in a marriage. Kindness makes each partner feel cared for, understood, and validated—feel loved.” I’m so grateful that I have a kind father and now I have a kind husband…

So Happy Father’s Day to all of the fathers out there especially mine – Dr. Denzil D. Holness…I love you always…

Any thoughts?

New York Times Best-Selling Author Kimberla Lawson Roby Is Heading to Atlanta Tomorrow (INTERVIEW)!!!

RobyFinalAuthorPhoto2012

Hello World,

Rev. Curtis Black is back in The Ultimate Betrayal (A Reverend Curtis Black Novel)!

It’s been four years since 28-year-old Alicia Black, daughter of Reverend Curtis Black, divorced her second husband, the most womanizing and corrupt man she has ever known. Since then, Alicia has been dating her first husband, Phillip Sullivan, a wonderfully kind and true man of God whom she’d hurt terribly by cheating on him. Alicia has worked hard to prove herself worthy of his trust once more, and when he asks her to marry him again, she couldn’t be happier.

But Levi Cunningham, the drug dealer Alicia had an extramarital affair with, has just been released from prison, and he has completely turned his life around for the better. Still head-over-heels in love with Alicia, he will do whatever is necessary to win her back. Remarrying Phillip is the one thing Alicia has wanted for years, but she can’t get Levi out of her mind…

You have to read the book to know the rest of the story…

Kimberla Lawson Roby will be signing The Ultimate Betrayal at Barnes & Noble, 1217 Caroline Street, Atlanta, GA 30307 on Thursday (tomorrow), June 18, 2015 at 7 p.m.  THE_ULTIMATE_BETRAYAL_-_Hi-Res

Check out my interview with Kimberla below:

1. What inspired you to write the 12th installment of the Reverend Curtis Black series, The Ultimate Betrayal?

I wanted to write this particular installment, partly because readers have been asking to hear more about Alicia’s life from her point of view and partly because I’ve been wanting to tell more of her story for a while. She is definitely her father’s daughter in more ways than one.

2. Alicia, the Reverend Curtis Black’s daughter, has the opportunity to be reconciled with her first husband Phillip Sullivan, a kind and true man of God. And yet she is still attracted to the drug dealer Levi Cunningham, the man with whom she had an extramarital affair. Why?

While Phillip is the ideal man in everyone’s eyesight (and rightfully so), Alicia is very much in love with Levi—even though she tries to deny it. She loves Phillip, too, but not in the same manner. She has a certain passion and connection with Levi that she’s never shared with any man…not even Phillip.

3. One of the other characters, Melanie, in this book, may be struggling with anorexia. Why did you create a character who could be struggling with this eating disorder, and how did you research anorexia?

I wanted to create Melanie’s character because so many times we believe anorexia can only occur with young people, specifically with teenagers. However, anorexia can take place at any age and for many different reasons. I did lots of research based on multiple real-life people who have suffered with this condition for years.

4. What can your readers expect from the Reverend Curtis Black in this installment?

A good while ago, Reverend Curtis Black turned his life around for the better. He is a true man of God, he’s faithful to his wife, and he works hard to do the right thing in general. So, when he begins to suspect that his daughter, Alicia, is up to her old tricks, he calls her on it and warns her to stop whatever it is she’s doing. He reminds her of all the tragedy that came about when he made similar mistakes.

5. Of all of the characters you have created in your 20-year career, which character in which book are you the most like and how?

In my fourth novel, It’s a Thin Line, I based the Sydney character on myself and the Delores character on my mom, who really did have a benign, yet aggressive brain tumor. Watching my mom deteriorate and ultimately losing the woman who meant everything in the world to me was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to endure. This is the reason some of the dialogue between Sydney and Delores is almost identical to some of what my mom and I said to each other.

6. How do you get inspired to write your novels?

I am completely inspired by my love of writing fiction as well as by my amazing readers who continually give me such kind words of encouragement and support. If it weren’t for my readers, I couldn’t and wouldn’t do what I do as a writer, year after year. I certainly thank God for each and every one of them.

7. Some may classify your novels as Christian fiction, and Christian fiction has experienced significant upheaval recently. To what do you attribute your longevity in the publishing industry (other than God), and what advice do you give to Christian fiction authors who are just starting out and who also want to be successful over the long term?

My longevity in the publishing business is indeed a result of God’s blessings and His calling on my life, and I also believe that writing about real-life social issues has made a huge difference. With every book, I try to write stories that readers can relate to or they know a family member or friend who can relate. I also write about topics that are important (and sometimes controversial), but they aren’t discussed as much as they should be.

Kimberla Lawson Roby is the author of the best-selling works A Christmas Prayer, The Prodigal Son, A House Divided, The Perfect Marriage, The Reverend’s Wife, Secret Obsession (novella), Love, Honor, and Betray, Be Careful What You Pray For, A Deep Dark Secret (novella), The Best of Everything, Sin No More, One in a Million (novella), Love and Lies, Changing Faces, The Best-Kept Secret, Too Much of a Good Thing, A Taste of Reality, It’s a Thin Line, Casting the First Stone, Here and Now and Behind Closed Doors. She lives with her husband in Illinois.  For more information, go to kimroby.com.

Any thoughts?

 

The Stones That Built Me Strong – New Book Alert!!!

Hello World, stonescover

As I’ve said before in previous posts, summertime is the best time to catch up on your reading…Over the past few weeks, I’ve featured fiction books so today I thought I would feature a non fiction selection…Presenting The Stones That Built Me Strong: Turn Hurtful Stones from Your Past Into Stepping Stones for Success! by Alissa R. Jones…

Are you holding on to something you need to let go of?

Have you ever felt like all the odds are against you to succeed?

Have you ever felt like you fell in love with the wrong person?

I came up against these questions at life’s most trying moments. For many years, I was silenced by fear and suppressed the bad memories of my childhood.  At the age of 11, I was abused by a man my mother let rent a room in our home. I discovered my dad I’ve known for 13 years wasn’t my dad biologically. I looked for love in the wrong places, trying to fill the void of all the things important to me being taken and leaving me hopeless.

When we don’t deal with our past it can’t be healed. I made a choice to marry a man for the wrong reasons. In hopes of holding on to him, I continued to lose myself in the process and deal with situations I should not have.

With each stone thrown at me, I have come to know peace, understanding and forgiveness through turning to God. After turning to God, I learned that what was once a negative and a hurtful stone can turn into a positive one. I realized sometimes God places these obstacles and trials before us to humble us, and prepare us for what He truly has in store for us.

The Stones That Built Me Strong: Turn Hurtful Stones from Your Past Into Stepping Stones for Success! is available on Amazon.

About The Author:alissa

Alissa R. Jones is an author, motivational speaker, project director, woman of God and the list goes on…But most of all, she is a survivor. She is the Founder and Director of S.W.V., Survivors with Voices Foundation with a mission to help survivors embrace seen and unseen scars, find a voice, and heal. S.W.V. provides an outlet in which their voices may be heard. Alissa R. Jones was born and raised out of Springfield, Ohio. She currently resides in Houston, Texas with her husband Robbin A. Jones and their children. For more information, visit the author online at survivorswithvoices.com.