Resilience & the Bible: How to Use Scriptures to Bounce Back From – Racism & Prejudice

My Interview with Women of Faith's Thelma Wells!

Thelma Wells 1

Hello World,

Today’ s post is the fourth installment of my 7-month interview series entitled “Resilience & the Bible” which is about how Scriptures can be used to bounce back from the trials we all have to go through from time to time. Once a month, I feature someone who has used Bible verses to bounce back! If you know of someone who has bounced back using Scriptures and would like to be featured on my blog, please e-mail me at jacqueline@afterthealtarcall.com.

How to bounce back from racism and prejudice is the focus of this month’s “Resilience & the Bible” blog post. Since we celebrate the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. holiday this month, I thought it would be interesting to speak with someone who has been able to bounce back from racism and prejudice as Dr. King dedicated his life to challenging racism and prejudice. Thelma Wells, who is one of the core women featured in Women of Faith, an annual conference that attracts millions of women in cities throughout the nation, faced racism and prejudice when she left her nurturing although segregated community in Dallas, Texas. However, her experiences and the guidance of her grandfather and great- grandmother, who raised her, prepared her for future opportunities which included her first job, a career in banking and her speaking ministry. Women of Faith, which began in 1996, is now conducting its farewell tour entitled “LOVED: The Farewell Tour” and will stop in Atlanta tomorrow, Jan. 22nd and Saturday, Jan. 23rd.  Also, on February 18th (with an encore presentation on Feb. 20th), Women of Faith will be hosting a limited engagement theatrical event nationwide. This part documentary, part live-event will take audiences on history journey with never-before-seen interviews, hilarious out takes, and a time of worship.

Below is my interview with Thelma Wells.

What Scriptures have you relied on as you faced racism and prejudice and how have they helped you?

All of the Psalms, but particularly Psalm 23:1. “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.”

When I was a girl, that verse helped me. The 23rd Psalm was taught to all children. In fact, I wrote a whole soliloquy on that several years ago and what it meant that the Lord is your shepherd. I wrote that because I needed more emphasis on that because life has been good to me, but it has also been sometimes an anxiety for me when I faced hard times like when I faced abuse or when I faced prejudice or whatever.

Also, Psalm 27:1. “The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?”

and Psalm 91:2 “I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.”

I’m 74 years old, will be 75 pretty soon. And I have gone back to the Psalms and reading the Psalms that David wrote and others and talking about the hardship, or the prejudice or the fears and God is always our refuge and our strength. I was concerned about something several months ago, and I said, ‘Let me get back in the book of Psalms’ because David and the writers always go back to the Lord is our strength. The Lord is our comfort. God always stabilizes us in the midst of trouble, sickness or disease.

Tell me about the racism and prejudice you faced growing up in Dallas, Texas.

Well, as a child, we were segregated because we couldn’t live other places where people could live. One of the things that was so rewarding to me was that I lived in a community that really was a village. We had people in our community in Dallas, Texas that could chastise you, could love you or whatever. Now, the prejudice that I encountered was not being able to go to sporting events, or the Majestic Theatre which is in downtown Dallas. Let me tell you what my granddaddy did. Every week when I was about eight or nine years old, he would take me to the movies at Majestic Theatre, and we would have to sit in what was called the buzzard roost. The buzzard roost was where only black folk could sit. We got the stale candy. We got popcorn that was stale. We had to go in the back door and go up the back steps in order to see a movie. But my granddaddy would say to me, ‘Pooch, (that was his affectionate name for me), one of these days, you’re going to be able to walk through the front door of the Majestic Theatre and walk down front and center and sit on the front row.’ Do you know what? When desegregation started somewhere around 1964 or 1965, I walked in the front door and down front and center in that elegant Majestic Theatre. Even though my granddaddy was not there with me at the time, I kept thinking about him.

When I graduated from high school, I did not realize I could go to a regular college. So I decided to take the street car and go downtown Dallas and go to this school that was advertised as a secretarial school. So I went down there. I had on my little blue dress with high-heel blue shoes. Girl, I was so cute I couldn’t stand myself. I got off the street car, walked over to this business college, walked in the door and when I stepped in the door, my excitement went to anger and hurt. I walked through the door there and the guy sitting there in the lobby said, ‘What are you doing here nigger?’ I said, ‘I came to enroll in school.’ He said, ‘Niggers don’t go to this school.’ I kept trying to talk to him, but before I could get out my sentences, he took me and pushed me out on the streets of Dallas, Texas. I was so hurt. I cried all the way home on the street car.

So my great-grandmother Sarah Harrell, who raised me, went to the woman she worked for and told her what happened. She was a very wealthy woman, and my great-grandmother worked for her as a domestic. She said, ‘Where does she want to go to school?’ The only college, other than the black colleges, that accepted black students was North Texas State College which is now the University of North Texas. She said, ‘Okay, let’s find out how much it costs.’ She said she would pay for me to go to college as long as my grades stayed above average and I did not get married. And she kept her word, girl. She paid my tuition and bought my books. And when I got married in 1961 when I was in college, it became my husband’s responsibility. I lived in the dormitories during the week in Denton 37 miles away and came home to Dallas on the weekends to be with him.

And living in the dormitories was another racial situation. Me and four other girls integrated the dormitories my third year there. They only let five of us do it because of our high grades. The other black students had to stay in campus homes outside of the community of the school. So they had five of us in one room with cots, and we were next to the boiler room.

I graduated with a degree in secondary education.

I think because of the positivity of my great grandmother and my granddaddy and because that was the way it was, I was not bitter about racism and prejudice.

What was your first job after you graduated from college?

I taught high school for about a year, but I couldn’t stand it. I just didn’t like dealing with high schoolers. So I was told there was a job opening for a black woman that was attractive and could type and had a college education. Because that was when they were talking about the quota system. So I went to an interview at the John Deere Company in Dallas, Texas with a gentleman. So he gave me this interview. He said, ‘Hi, You’re very attractive. Can you type?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘What is your degree in?’ And I told him. He said, ‘Okay, you got the job.’ So I became the secretary to the parts manager. I was the first black person in the Southwest to get that kind of job at John Deere. They put me in the mail room, and in the mail room, there was this great big addressograph and I had to sit or stand there. That was not the job I was hired for, but I had to take the envelopes and mail around to everybody before they would give me a seat as a secretary.

Well, I was disappointed but not to the point that I didn’t know that I was going to win them over. As I was going around putting the mail on the people’s desks, I learned everybody’s name and position. The other thing I learned was that I was not dressing appropriately. I wore gingham dresses, and I discovered as I walked around that the ladies were wearing skirts and blouses. I had never heard of Girl Friday, okay? So I thought, I gotta change and get me some skirts and blouses.

Also, I also discovered that every Monday morning, the ladies would bring recipes that they had prepared over the weekend and share them. Well, I didn’t have no recipes. I would just cook, and I would taste and that was my recipe. So I joined a recipe club so I would have something to talk about on Monday mornings.

I knew I had to assimilate because they were already there. I was the only black person in the building for three or four years. I was the token.

How did you get in the banking industry?

My husband and I had been banking at this bank for years, and I decided I’m going to work at this bank, okay? And so I went to this bank and interviewed, and the man said, ‘What type of banking experience do you have?’ ‘Absolutely none.’ So he told me, ‘I don’t have anything for you, and I probably won’t have anything for you to do so you don’t have to come back.’ I said, ‘Oh yeah, I’m coming back because I’m going to work at this bank.’ He said, ‘ No I don’t think so.’ I said, ‘Yeah, I will.’ So every week, I would call him. He would say, ‘I don’t have anything for you to do.’ I called him and harassed him so much until he called me one day and said, ‘Mrs. Wells, come on up here and interview with one of our officers.’ Well, I interviewed with this lady, and I knew she had no clout. She was probably not an officer. He was just trying to get me off of his back. So one day, I went up there and waited for him, and they told me he wasn’t there. I said, ‘Is he coming back today? I will wait for him.’ They said, ‘Yes.’ I said, ‘Okay, I have nothing to do today. I will wait for him.’ And I sat and I sat and finally he had to come out of his office. He was there the whole time. I said, ‘I’m going to work here at this bank so you may as well hire me because I’m going to harass you until you do.’

Well, he talked to a lady named Hannah Greenspan, and she was a Jewish lady. She was vice president of the bank, but she called me one day and said, ‘Would you come up here and talk to me?’ And I went and talked to her, and she said, ‘You’re hired.’ I was hired as a new accounts clerk. But guess what happened that time too? They put me in the mail room, girl! I was the only black full-time employee there.

Thelma Wells 2How did your banking position lead to public speaking?

The bank didn’t have an addressograph, but I had to walk around and give everyone their mail. And I learned the people’s names and talked to people too. I noticed something though. I learned that a lot of people didn’t know what they were doing either at the bank. In looking at the mail, I saw a lot of things coming back that were wrong, complaints, etc. So I was strategic again. I found out about the American Institute of Banking. I called a lady who was the president of the institute in Dallas, and I asked her if I could enroll in banking school and she said I could. I took every course I could take for four semesters. I started in 1972 and once I finished, I called the president and said, ‘Now that I’m finished, I want to teach banking.’ She laughed at me and said, ‘You just got out of these courses.’ But I did start teach banking.

While I was teaching, I discovered that people had low self-esteem, even the bank officers that I was associated with. They could do their jobs, but when I would announce that we were going to have test or look out for a pop quiz, they would almost have a coronary. And I noticed how they interact with other people. They could do it outside of the classroom but not inside the classroom because they didn’t want anyone to know they didn’t know anything. So I prayed. I said, ‘I said Lord, give me something that I could leave with these people on the last night of class that will give them the courage and the energy they need to love themselves.’ That was just an honest prayer, and I didn’t know how it was going to be fulfilled. A lady saw me wearing a bumblebee pin. It meant nothing to me except it was cute. She said to me, ‘Thelma Wells, every time you wear that bee, remember you can be the best of what you want to be!” That was it for me. I said, ‘Lord, thank you.’ So I created a 15-minute motivational seminar based on that, and people started asking me to come to their fraternities, sororities, churches, this, that and the other. And since 1974, I have been giving that speech although I’ve never done it the same way twice because I ask God to show me who is in this audience and tell me what you want me to say. I’ve done it all over the world. I did it last night for a Women’s Night Out retreat for 500 women.

How did you become a part of Women of Faith?  audience

I wrote a book titled Bumblebees Fly Anyway: Defying the Odds at Work and Home. A lady saw it in the window in Barnes & Noble. She said that she stood there and read the book, and they were looking for a black woman to speak for Women of Faith who had a story to tell. From reading that, she came to my office and asked me if I would be a part of Women of Faith. By this time, I was not in banking. I got out of banking in 1984. I started my own speaking company because from the bank, I had so many speaking opportunities. So I quit the bank. I became a part of Women of Faith in 1996.

How do you feel about this being the farewell tour of Women of Faith?

I have mixed feelings to be honest. Even though many of the women in Women of Faith, we are mature, we’re not ready to stop. However, the mixed bag is after 20 years, you need some changes. And the women that I know that are on the tour are absolutely phenomenal and so it’s time to pass the torch. And it’s okay with me because I’m going to do what I’ve always done. I will still continue to speak to people with God’s blessing, but I am going to miss my buds, my buddies. But we have been together on the phone and in different functions, and it will always be that way. Friends are friends forever when the Lord is the Lord of them.

If you are in the metro Atlanta area and want more information about Women in Faith in Atlanta which will be held at Philips Arena and to buy tickets, go to womenoffaith.com. Also, the Women of Faith movie “WOMEN OF FAITH: AN AMAZING JOYFUL JOURNEY” will debut on Feb. 18. With lots of laughter and storytelling, this part documentary/part live stage event features never-before-seen interviews and behind-the-scenes footage that will feature some of the most beloved and popular speakers including Patsy Clairmont, Mary Graham, Jen Hatmaker, Nicole Johnson, Marilyn Meberg, Sandi Patty, Luci Swindoll, Sheila Walsh, and Thelma Wells, as well as music and performances from Christian contemporary artists who have appeared on the tour over the two decades. The presentation will also feature fun outtakes. The encore presentation will be held on Feb. 20. To order tickets go to wofincinemas.com.

Below is the trailer for the movie:

For more Bible scriptures online, go to BibleGateway.com.

Any thoughts?

Historic Ebenezer Baptist Church Pastor Proposes to Girlfriend During Watch Night Service! (VIDEO)

Why You Should be at Watch Night Service Next Year...

ebenezer engagement photo

Hello World,

If you’re in the A, you may already know the news, but since my audience is worldwide ( 🙂 ), I hope I’m the first to bring you the news! Rev. Dr. Raphael Warnock, senior pastor of Atlanta’s Historic Ebenezer Baptist Church, the “spiritual home of The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.” preached the Watch Night Service that will probably go down as the most romantic Watch Night Service of all times. At the end of the two-hour service, Rev. Dr. Warnock (who sounded a bit hoarse from preaching I guess or maybe it was nerves considering what he was about to do next) acknowledges Mrs. Christine King Farris, the longest serving member of Ebenezer and sister of Dr. King and people from his circle including his siblings, a friend from high school and one of his best friends who “know [him] before [he] was Rev. Dr.” BEFORE introducing the church to a Miss Ouleye Ndoye about the 2:07 mark of the video below.

He says that “Morehouse men don’t get far without Spelman women.”  He goes on to say Ndoye, who is a graduate of Spelman, Oxford and Columbia, is the “one of the most brilliant people I know” and the tone of his voice lowers a bit before completing his statement with “and one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever seen” after which a collective “Oh” comes from the congregation…

Then he walks over to her at which some woman in the congregation says, “Uh oh, Pastor?” And then many members of the congregation armed with cell phones vacate the pews, furiously corralling themselves around the pastor and his special guest like he is a football player about to score a touchdown! (I saw “Concussion” last night so football motifs are on the brain. A must-see movie by the way!) He responds with, “Why y’all carrying on like this?” in the midst of the commotion. And the same woman it seems yells, “Go head pastor! Work it pastor!” “Can I talk?” says the Ebenezer Baptist Church pastor finally before beginning his proposal.

Obviously inspired by the words Indian poet Rabindranath Tagore, Pastor Warnock recites his words to Ndoye, who is seated, as he stands before her.

“Those who are near me do not know that you are nearer to me than they are. Those who speak to me do not know that my heart is full with your unspoken words. Those who crowd in my path do not know that I am walking alone with you. Those who love me do not know that their love brings you closer to my heart.”

And then he quotes from the Word, reciting Proverbs 18:22 with a sweet twist as he pulls out a red jewelry box from one of his front jacket pockets.

“The Bible says that he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.  So, will you do me a favor and be my good thing? Will you marry me?”

Pastor Warnock, who is on bended knee by the end of his words, had to stop for a moment the applause was so loud but he was able to get the words of his proposal out. Ndoye, who is trembling and intermittently clasping her hands around her face, responds by saying, “Yes, I will.”

All this time, I thought that Rev. Dr. Warnock, who became senior pastor of the church as a single man in 2005, was like Paul and had the gift of singleness. But as it turns out, he was just waiting for his “good thing” to arrive 🙂

Congratulations to the beautiful couple!

This Watch Night Service proposal reminds me on an episode of “Sex and the City” when Charlotte, who has converted Judaism to be a suitable marriage candidate for her Jewish boyfriend Harry, but they have a fight before he proposes. Still, Charlotte, who was serious about her conversion despite the breakup, goes to a Jewish mixer for singles where she bumps into Harry, who has by that time forgiven her for the fight. He proposes to her in the middle of mixer! One of the single Jewish women, who watches the proposal, responds by saying, “I’m so coming back next week!”

Maybe if more women knew they could score a marriage proposal (the football motif returns) at a Watch Night Service in church rather popping champagne  in the club, they would show up there  instead for their NYE festivities 🙂

Watch the whole service or just the proposal (which begins around the 2:07 mark below) below! Happy New Year Y’all!

Any thoughts?

P.S. UPDATE: Rev. Dr. Raphael Warnock and Ouleye Ndoye are now married as of Valentine’s Day 2016! Read the story – Why Wait? Historic Ebenezer Baptist Church Pastor Marries on Valentine’s Day After NYE Proposal (VIDEO)!

 

 

 

Seven Oh So Necessary Things You Must Be Prepared To Give Up if You Turn Away From the Lord…

For My Wannabe Black Atheists Who Haven't Thought This Through...

 

church ladies

Hello World,

So last week I was reading one of my favorite blogs VSB (Very Smart Brothas) which is by no means a Christian blog or a religious blog or a spiritual blog so if you know me here, don’t go over there expecting to be taken to church…It’s not gonna happen, but these very smart brothas are always good for a chortle or three and a fresh if not irreverent, well-written perspective on pop culture…so I appreciate them…So imagine my chagrin when I did come across this religious blog post “Six Foolproof And Effective Things To Do To Bring Atheists Back To The Lord” by Natalie Degraffinried last week…Judging by the title alone you could probably think that this blog post would be weaponry we could add to our arsenal because all my Christian soldiers are forever trying to bring back atheists to the Lord (because we are on the battlefield for my Lord), but knowing the very smart brothas as I do, I knew the content that followed this title would be anything but foolproof and effective things you can do to bring atheists back to the Lord…It seems that Miss Degraffinried recently revealed to her black mama (by the way Miss Degraffinried is also black) that she is an unbeliever and her black mama has pretty much gone ballistic…Because we all know that most black mamas (unless you a millennial) are believers…Here is one tactic her black mama tried…

“…my mother watched more Christian programming than I had ever seen in the days to follow. And not just the Black pastors, either—she watched the little wrinkled old White men who emulated the Black preachers, too, spreading the word of the lord to little southern middle-aged White ladies. In fact, she would very deliberately change the channel to it when I would come into the room, glare at me, and then sit and watch.”

Aside from what her black mama did, Miss Degraffinried goes on to illuminate the six MOST effective foolproof and effective things you can try to bring atheists back the Lord: Say “You’ll Turn To God When You’re Down On Your Luck,” Ask “What Made You Stop Believing In God?”, Ask Them A Bunch of Probing Questions, And Ignore Their AnswersPraise God…All the TimeSay the Same Things Over and Over and Over and Over and Over Again.

Actually, I like her list because it gives me some insight about what not to do obviously… and thankfully, as far as I know, I have never done these things…But don’t get it twisted…I haven’t tried any of these things not because I am enlightened…It’s probably the opposite…When I am come across an atheist – well really, black atheists in this country, I’m pretty much dumbfounded…everybody knows that the Lord is how we got over so when I meet a black person who must know that AND has a black mama, I really don’t say much of anything…In fact, I may just walk away mid-sentence and conclude he or she must be from the North because here in the South even the most backslidden believer  with Hennessy in one hand and weed between his fingers on the other will call on the Lord when necessary…which brings me to the point of today’s blog post…I’m a much better writer than I’m a speaker so after thinking about Miss Degraffinried’s blog post for a few days, I’ve come up “Seven Oh So Necessary Things You Must Be Prepared To Give Up if You Turn Away From the Lord” blog post because a looong comment on VSB just wouldn’t do…So Miss Degraffinried, this blog post is dedicated to you and all my people who are thinking of becoming atheists…

If you are thinking of becoming an atheist, you must be prepared to give up:

1. Martin Luther THE Kang...Everybody knows that Dr. King, the father of the Civil Rights Movement, was down with G.O.D.(yeah, you know me…I know…I’m corny…Forgive me, I’m not a millennial) If you become an atheist, you relinquish your right to revere this man (as much as you can a man anyway without being sacrilegious…oh wait…never mind…) because he trusted in the Lord as his King and Jesus Christ was his Savior and both of them as well as the Holy Spirit guided him on how to get our civil rights…And you pretty much have to give up coming to the A too because we are all about the Kang in these parts…We are so Kang, we are building a monument to MLK on top of Stone Mountain (because he’s been to the mountain top) to make up for the fact that Stonewall Jackson, Robert E. Lee, and Jefferson Davis are etched on the side of it…

2. Your affiliation with your HBCU…While we are on Black History, many HBCUs were founded by people who believed in the Lord…Bethune-Cookman University, Clark Atlanta University, Dillard University, Meharry Medical College, Paine College, Rust College, Morehouse College, Xavier University…I could keep going…If you’ve got a degree from any of these institutions, you better get on your knees and thank the Lord because He opened the doors for these schools to be founded…

3. Pastor Shirley Caesar, Yolanda Adams, Cece Winans…In other words, you must give up gospel music…That may not seem like a big deal now…but when you are going through, you will be forced to either Bow Down to Beyoncé, Roll With Rihanna or worse- Elevate With Enya…You know as well as I do when you are going through, none of these ladies can lift you up like the aforementioned gospel greats…Read my blog post “Breaking Down the Holy Spirit/Why Beyoncé Did Ledisi A Favor…” and you will see what I mean…

4. The word “blessing” or “bless” or “blessed” etc.…Blessing means “God’s favor and protection.” So no more hashtags #blessed…And if you like Big Sean’s song “Blessed” and the remix, you’ve got to give up both of those songs too…I would guess that Big Sean aine in church ere Sunday but I would bet he believes in God and his black mama is working on getting him back to church ere Sunday…Kinda like when Marion Winans was rocking with Diddy back in the day…I’m sure the Winans were having prayer vigils trying to get him to leave the world alone and fully commit to Christ…And what are you gonna say when something good happens to you? Us believers say it was a blessing…Something about the double “s” makes you feel happy…What do unbelievers say? And you can’t even curse someone out without them knowing it anymore…That is what “bless your heart” means by the way….

not blessed

5. Grace…And while we’re on the subject of blessing, you cannot bless or say grace over your food because you don’t believe in that… Miss Degraffinried says she told her black mama that God doesn’t fit in her life while they “waited at the window of an Arby’s drive-thru” where she ordered “beef n cheddar sandwich, curly fries, and jamocha shake.” I’m assuming she didn’t pray over that because she’s and atheist an all, but if it’s anywhere you need to say grace, it’s at a drive-thru…There and over your old auntie’s potato salad that used be so good you wanted to do cartwheels after the first bite but now since she gotten old, she doesn’t know how to season anymore but no one has the heart to tell her that she should probably stop cooking…

6. Getting married in a church…If you become an atheist, you have to give up getting married in a church…If you don’t believe in the sanctity of the church building, why bother honoring the sanctity of marriage there?…of course, you can always get married on the beach, a backyard, etc…And I will concede that getting married in a church is not necessarily any more holy than getting married anywhere else since God is everywhere…(if you believe) But here is the flip side, not only should you not have your wedding there but you can’t have your funeral there either…And nothing is more depressing than having a funeral at a community center or any other nondescript place that will host an atheist funeral…I know you’re probably saying why I should care, I will be dead, but think about those that have to go to your funeral…Are you really going to subject your family and friends to sitting in uncomfortable folding chairs while ignoring the fact that they smell old gym shoes mixed with Pine-Sol. And on top of that, they are forced to listen to Enya because of course, you can’t have hymns at your funeral…

7.Christmas cards…Atheists cannot send Christmas cards…”Christ” is smack dab in Christmas so why would you want to? So go ahead and start stockpiling your Merry X-mas cards which are pretty much stupid…What is X-mas? Everybody knows that X is supposed to be either a substitute for “Christ” or you just don’t know to spell…You would do better to get some Santa Claus cards…But then again, if you believe in Santa Claus over Jesus then I really can’t help you at that point…You are beyond saving…Just kidding…

So there you have it…before you black atheists turn your back on the Lord, you many want to reconsider…Christians of other races, please feel free to modify for your own culture….

Any thoughts?