Category Archives: Divine Love

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Why I Almost Left My Church…

Hello World, church shopping

With a church on nearly corner, it can be tempting to think that choosing a church is akin to choosing a grocery store…I can get some of this there and some of that over there and if I keep on sampling, I can find everything I need…

I’ve been going to my church since I was six years old…Yes, For 36 years, I have been either been taken to or driven to Central Christian Church in Southwest Atlanta every Sunday…I began going to the church because my father Dr. Denzil D. Holness was named the new pastor, and he has continued to be the pastor of Central ever since…When I was a little girl, our church was my second home and felt like it…There was lots of love and laughter and lessons about Jesus…I made some of my best friends there, traveled all over the country with various church groups and sought out the consoling of my church when the outside world was too painful to withstand alone (It’s hard to be a pre-teen and teen 🙂 )

However, as I got older, things began to change at my small church…Friends that had grown up with me at the church either moved away after college or explored other churches and never came back…In the beginning, it hurt me, but I eventually learned that adulthood warrants making new choices and sometimes those choices include people moving in and our of your lives…When I returned from the University of Georgia in Athens back to Atlanta and began attending my church again, my church was not the same…New people had come in and others had gone…

In addition to noticing the changes within my church, I noticed that I had also changed…I began living as a Christian in a way that I wasn’t willing to before college…And being the adventurous and curious person I’ve always been, I wondered what Christianity looked like through the lens of other churches…I was able to explore the mores of different Christian communities initially through a journalism internship with the Georgia Baptist Convention…I had done some of that in college as I wasn’t able to attend my home church since I was hours way, but this time, I was more intentional about my discoveries and open to what God was saying to me…I went to various conventions at different churches in a variety of denominations and I met Christians from diverse backgrounds and locations…Yet, I remained attending Central faithfully every Sunday….I must confess I felt obligated to do so as the pastor’s daughter…And I secretly wondered what it would be like to not just visit another church but to actually become a member of another church…

church hopHowever, about a decade ago, Central began experiencing some difficulty…The neighborhood around the church had changed and many people had moved away…People got busy… People died…I’m not sure what else, but church attendance sharply dipped for a while…And I got very discouraged…Although I’ve never been a pastor and have no desire to be a pastor, I had lots of advice for father…I finally declared that I was tired of feeling like I had to attend Central and told my parents to consider themselves forewarned…I was church shopping and not hiding it…It was what I needed…I went to megachurches, medium-sized churches and small churches throughout the city of Atlanta and satisfied my curiosity about “greener pastures.”

And then one Sunday morning, an elderly woman called me and asked me to bring her to church…The first Sunday, I did so and thought nothing of it…And then the next Sunday, she called for another ride…By the third Sunday, I realized that God was speaking to me through that woman…I was needed at my church…And in spite of my church’s shortcomings, there was more for me to do there…So I returned…However, I came back with a new approach to being a member of Central…I decided that I would attend Central every Sunday, but I would not feel internally pressured to do something because I was the pastor’s daughter and I would feel free to attend another church on Wednesday evening for Bible study…It can get weird after a while if your father who has been your father for all of your life has also been your pastor for all of your whole life (at least as far back as you can recall)…And this approach works for me…

While I believe that you should receive a lot by attending and being a member of your church, being a part of a church is just as much about what you give…And sometimes, you can give in ways that you may have not considered…One of the ways I hope I give to my church is being an example to some of the children at the church who are from a disadvantaged background…I want to inspire them to dream big and allow God to bring them to heights they only thought possible for other people…

And over time, more people began coming again, and Central was on longer “The Valley of Dry Bones.” We returned to life…As the population of the church changed, I didn’t think it was possible to meet a potential husband at my church…And then one day Robert showed up…He came up with one of my friends who I grew up in church with…This friend was one of the friends that had moved away from Central and then he returned with a handsome friend to boot 🙂 And you know the end of the story…

Anyway, I’ve said or written all of this to say that deciding to leave a church is a serious decision and should not be done haphazardly nor without prayer to know God’s will…I’m not mad at or resentful about any of the childhood friends that have moved on to different churches…I trust that the same God who leads me to Central each Sunday leads them to wherever they go each Sunday…

Here is Pastor H.B. Charles Jr.’s perspective on “When It’s Time to Leave a Church.” Thanks to the TheOldBlackChurch.blogspot.com for the post idea…

Any thoughts?

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Living Like We’re Dying…

Hello World,

No one ever wants to think about dying…But over the last several months, I have been forced to consider the reality that we all must die someday…and many of us will leave this earth sooner than we prepared for and or expected…I truly began considering the ugly reality of death when my beloved Delta line sister Lola passed away in October…Since then, I have thought of her constantly…I wonder what actions she took to prepare herself for her transition, how her family is coping since that devastating day and how we will continue to live here on earth without her…

I was forced to think about the temporal life most of us lead on New Year’s Eve when the pastor preached on Romans 13:11-14….

11 Another reason for right living is this: you know how late it is; time is running out. Wake up, for the coming of the Lord is nearer now than when we first believed.

12-13 The night is far gone, the day of his return[a] will soon be here. So quit the evil deeds of darkness and put on the armor of right living, as we who live in the daylight should! Be decent and true in everything you do so that all can approve your behavior. Don’t spend your time in wild parties and getting drunk or in adultery and lust or fighting or jealousy.

14 But ask the Lord Jesus Christ to help you live as you should, and don’t make plans to enjoy evil.

Although I am a Christian, Lord help me, I can get so caught up in what I need to do today, this week, this month, this year and on and on…as if I have a eternal to-do list never factoring in that one day Jesus Christ will return and it may sooner than I expect…I’ve even thought I hope Jesus Christ returns to earth after I die because I’ve got things I want to do, see and be…how disgustingly worldly is that?

And since the Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 disappeared on March 8, I, among many across the world have been theorizing just what could have happened…I posted on my Facebook a few days later that my best theory was the plane had been raptured…I was sort of kidding…And I got several responses to that post…However, considering the verses above, we have to able to discern what is going on around us and be sensitive to God what is doing…

So this morning, I am wondering are if we living are like we’re dying…because the truth is, we are dying a little bit each day…Below are a few questions to determine if we are living like we’re dying…

  • What are we doing regularly for the Lord? I have dedicated my writing talent to the Lord because He gave it to me anyway…But outside of that, the Lord has been prompting me to not just write about Him but to speak about Him as well…I must confess talking about Jesus is so scary to me because I don’t want to others to think I’m a religious nut or just plain weird…but I have committed myself this year to being all about Jesus in “word and deed.”
  • Are we paying attention? It is easy to get caught up in what is going with our individual lives or the lives of our friends and loved ones that we don’t pay attention to what is going in the world…This is a huge problem for me…I’m not a hard news person…I have to force myself to pay attention to politics and world affairs (when I would rather be watching the Real Housewives of Atlanta or other ratchetness) because I know that the more I pay attention to politics and world affairs, the better chance I have of discerning what God is doing…I’m not talking about hocus pocus…I’m talking or rather writing about the signs of the times…
  • Do we have a personal relationship with the Lord? Many people are churchgoers but knowing the Lord in a personal way is a different matter altogether…My personal relationship with the Lord is the supreme guiding principal and principle in my life..One way that I know I am personally acquainted with the Lord is that I hear His voice regularly… And God speaks to me in various ways, sometimes I get an overwhelming feeling of peace when I’ve heard bad news that lets me know that despite what I’ve heard, everything will be fine…Other times, I know He is speaking to me when I hear someone say the exact words I needed to hear…Sometimes, I come across a book that entirely shifts my thinking…it’s been amazing to hear God in so many ways throughout my Christian journey…

What are some other questions we may need to ask ourselves to determine that we are living like we’re dying?

Any thoughts?

 

 

 

 

 

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Your Cheatin’ Heart Will Tell On You…

Hello World,

If I hadn’t heard this was a true story, I would have thought that some very imaginative and skillful Christian novelist wove this story early one morning after watching episode  after episode of “Fatal Vows” on the Investigation Discovery (ID) Channel, my new favorite channel!

Have you read the story of “Bishop Dies of Apparent Heart Attack After Wife Allegedly Pushed Him to Confess Infidelity to Church?” on The Christian Post.

You must read this nearly unbelievable story but basically what happened is that Bishop Bobby Davis of of Miracle Faith World Outreach Church in Bridgeport, Connecticut died a week ago today after he told his wife Christine to whom he had been married for 50 years that he had been unfaithful some time ago. He told her before the church service, and she pushed him to confess to the congregation in a special meeting after the church service. Apparently, his children were also unaware of their father’s past transgression and mayhem ensued. According to The Christian Post, “It got physical. One of the sons attacked him. I was told one of the daughters poured water on him. It was like something out of, not even like the Old Testament, but a bad reality TV show,” said the source. “My heart is so devastated because it could have been handled in a private manner.”

Reportedly, Bishop Davis, who was apparently and ironically, a certified marriage and family therapist, had a heart attack at his church and was later pronounced dead at Bridgeport Hospital.

As a newly married woman and a Christian, this story is disturbing. I have so many questions.

  • What caused this man of God and marriage and family therapist to cheat on his wife?
  • What prompted the bishop to tell his wife of this infidelity after such a long time had passed? (Apparently, the person whom he cheated with had passed away.)
  • In light of what happened, are his wife and childen regretful of how their actions may have contributed to the bishop’s death?
  • Was the way he died evidence of God’s judgment?
  • Was the bishop’s ministry negated because of one sin?
  • Did the bishop go to Heaven?
  • What can we learn from this story?

Here are my answers to the questions I posed:

  • I don’t know the exact circumstances that led to the bishop’s cheating and perhaps no one will never know now that he is dead. However, he was not the first man of God that succumbed to his temptation. Read the story of David, a “man after God’s own heart,” who committed adultery, in 2 Samuel 11.
  • When we sin and do not repent, we create a barrier between ourselves and God.  We are told that in Isaiah 59:2. We are also told in James 5:16 that we are supposed to confess our sins to each other to be healed.
  • I don’t blame the reaction of the bishop’s family to his infidelity because I am sure they are deeply hurt by what he did, and from what I read, this is the first time they heard about his infidelity. But hopefully they can move past all of the anger and bitterness they feel and forgive him. We are told in Ephesians 4:31-32 to let go of anger and bitterness and forgive a person if that person has asked to forgiven as Jesus Christ has forgiven us.
  • With the dramatic way the bishop died, it’s hard not to wander if the way he died was evidence of God’s judgment. It does state in the Bible that if we continue in sin and take communion Sunday after Sunday knowing that we have not confessed our sins, we can invite God’s judgment. Read 1 Corinthians 11:29-31.
  • So was the bishop’s entire ministry negated because of one sin? I don’t think so. In Romans 3:23, we are told that all of us have sinned. As Christians, we should be less susceptible to sin as we grow in our faith, but we will never be completely sinless until we are in Heaven with God.
  • So is the bishop with God in Heaven? I think so! If Jesus, while dying on a cross,  promised a thief dying next to him also on a cross, that they would be together in Paradise, then I believe Heaven is where the bishop is this morning! Read the story about this blessed thief in Luke 23:32-43!
  • What can we learn from this story? I guess that depends on where you are in your life. For me, I am learning that marriage is work. Not that I’m not happy, but to honor the vows that I took on Aug. 10 last year is work…I’m praying that God will help me to live up to what I vowed to do…

Any thoughts?