Posted on Thursday, September 17, 2015

Crushin’ & Cussin’: ‘Born Again Virgin’ Season 1 Episode 8 & 9 (the Season Finale!)Recaps

Hello World,

I’m back with your regular dose of a weekly “Born Again Virgin” recap. And this time I’ve got two since after Episode 8, the season finale of BAV was broadcast as well! But don’t despair, “Born Again Virgin” AND my recaps will be back in December!

Episode 8: “Woman Crush Wednesday”

This episode was officially titled “Off to See the Wizard,” but I think “Woman Crush Wednesday” was more apropos for this episode. And you will find out why shortly! This episode begins with Jenna, Kelly and Tara having a meal at a restaurant somewhere in Atlanta. (Sidebar: This restaurant looks familiar, but I couldn’t quite place it. However, I did recognize another restaurant in this episode that I will reveal later.) Kelly is eating sweets like she wants to go into a diabetic coma presumably because she is going through a drought. However, Kelly, does stop eating sweets long enough to scold Jenna when her credit card is declined. “Maybe it’s time for you to get a real job,”she says to Jenna who is trying to live off of her blog about being a born again virgin.

In the next scene, Jenna is making pancakes for Donovan as she apparently owes him dinner but cannot afford to take him out. At this point, her bank account must be pretty much empty if she can only afford a box of pancake mix. I say this because Jenna doesn’t look like the type of girl who would make pancakes from scratch. Donovan, while appreciative of Jenna’s gesture, is not too pleased that he will be forced to eat pancakes, potentially making his rock hard abs go soft. As the two are eating, Kelly, who is trying to make partner at her pr firm, interrupts their dinner to tell Jenna about a new opportunity at her pr firm. Apparently, Kelly’s firm is handling an account for famous fashion designer Quinn Reed, who is portrayed by none other than Tichina Arnold aka Pam from “Martin” aka Rochelle the mama on “Everybody Hates Chris!” Apparently, Quinn Reed is starting a fashion blog and is in need of a ghostwriter. Jenna, who is a big fan of Quinn’s, is elated about the opportunity to work with the fashion designer and boost her bank account!

When she meets Quinn, the worldly fashion designer who comes off like a Svengali, Jenna is surprised that the fashion designer is just as enamored by her as as she is enamored by Quinn – but for different reasons. Jenna comes over to her home where Quinn allows her try on one of her dresses, a cute little black dress. Not only does Jenna compliment Quinn for her clothes, she notes the designer’s skin is flawless and asks her about her skin care regimen. Quinn reveals that is the “sweat from younger women” that keeps her pores tight. Wayment….But it is Women Crush Wednesday….

Tara, on the other hand, takes it upon herself to help Kelly, who is now eating cupcakes (albeit mini ones) for breakfast, with her dry spell. She sets her up with a man from her “Never Did” file. Kelly agrees to let Tara fix her up as far as her looks are concerned AND with a man. With Tara and Donovan a few tables away to observe, Kelly, who is wearing a little black dress as well but with the sides cut out, platform heels and a black wig with blonde highlights, meets the man for dinner at Tom, Dick & Hank on Abernathy! (Yes, I recognize this restaurant!) This chocolate hunk, who looks like a mini cupcake himself in comparison to the chocolate cake of a man in the finale episode (yes, more on that later), assumes that Kelly wants to skip the appetizers and go straight to dessert. Kelly, who has proven to have a sweet tooth, is nevertheless offended and ends the date.

Jenna, who was not expecting Quinn to hit her on her, returns to Quinn’s home after running scared not only to apologize but to make sure her money is still straight. Thankfully, Quinn still wants her to write for her blog and in general but she is willing to allow their relationship to be strictly business. Quinn tells Jenna that she read her blog and knows she has given up men. Jenna corrects her and says she has given up on sex not men to which Quinn responds, “I just want to let you know that you have options.” Well, alrighty then….

Episode 9: Curses, Curses….

This episode was titled “TMF” which is an abbreviation for a the [expletive], but since this is a Christian blog, I’m not going there. This episode has the best beginning of all the episodes. Jenna is shown making out with a HOT, muscled, chocolate man in previous years and now he has shown up at her door step again. The born again virgin is forced to reconsider her celibate stance since the hot pilot has breezed into town. He is her kryptonite as she has never been able to resist him in the past, and you know what they say: the past is the best predictor of the present….Hmmm….

Kelly, who hasn’t sworn off sex, is nevertheless swearing calling her boss “tmf” because he promoted a co-worker, who has only been at the pr firm for six months, over her. Also, not only is Bryan, the co-worker, not as qualified for the promotion as she is, he is also male chauvinist asking her to take notes at a firm meeting and saying she talks too much like other women.

Tara, who is forever on the prowl in more ways than one, has her eyes on a hot designer bag that is way out of her budget. This scene reminded me so much of the SATC episode in which Samanatha lusted after a Birkin bag (So that threw me off a little bit, and I didn’t like it because it felt unoriginal.) But Tara’s cash is not long like Samantha’s cash was so she has to resort to other methods. So Tara ,who hasn’t sworn sex either, decides to parlay a paramour for a purse…In other words, this man, a judge, loves to lavish gifts on Tara, particularly after sex. However, this time instead of offering to take her to the store to buy the purse and hand it over to her, he simply pulls out a wad of cash and puts in the night stand. Tara is insulted because cash on the nightstand is the universal sign for prostitution although parlaying a paramour for a purse is pretty much prostitution in my eyes…

Anyway, the three women meet in the kitchen to discuss temptation, “tmf” and Tara. Both Kelly and Tara tried to get advice from Jenna regarding their respective travails, but Jenna seemed to be “tied up” with Vince in her bedroom. Still, they were able to think through their problems by themselves. Kelly has decided to quit her job and start her own pr firm, swearing while she is telling the story. Her swearing means she has to contribute money to the girls’ swearing jar where they are hopefully saving enough for a girlfriend getaway to Jamaica. Tara, who confronted the judge in his courtroom about leaving cash on the nightstand, ends up with a bag and a proposal. She proudly shows off her engagement ring which leads to Jenna stringing together a few swear words of her own. More money for swearing jar! Although she is happy for her friend, she is a bit discouraged that Tara’s stance on sexuality has resulted in kissing singlehood good-bye while being a born again virgin has pretty much only led to her being broke. She is so broke that she has been stealing from the swear jar, and there is not enough money to go to Jamaica after all! And now it is time for Jenna to spill what happened with Vince. Is her born again virgin status still intact or did she succumb to temptation?!!! Jenna reveals that while they shared some hot and steamy kisses, she remains a born again virgin…More to be revealed in Season 2 of “Born Again Virgin!!!”

Did y’all like my recaps?

Any thoughts?

Posted on Sunday, September 13, 2015

Girl Fight: ‘Born Again Virgin’ Season 1 Episode 7 Recap

Hello World,

So admittedly, this recap is late as I normally post my recaps of “Born Again Virgin” on Thursday mornings! But when breaking news comes into play as it did last Thursday, I have to be prepared to roll with the punches so to speak. So please forgive me especially since it’s Sunday, and we’re going to church today 🙂 (You are going to church today, right?)

Considering the Floyd “Money” Mayweather fight last night, this episode goes right along with that as in this episode Kelly is excited about hosting a fight party! Apparently, the pr exec is known for her fight parties that feature her six-feet sub of “pure deliciousness” that she lovingly prepares herself. Donovan, on the other hand, wants to compete with her by hosting his own fight party that features his popular crab dip. Remember Donovan can cook! But for the time being, he acquiesces to her desire to be the only one hosting the fight party.

While Kelly prepares for the party that evening, Jenna fights a mean case of “Writer’s Block.” She is supposed to churn out an article entitled “10 Things To Do On a Date Without Having Sex,” but the born again virgin is bereft of any ideas which I don’t understand. For the record, there are plenty of things to do on a date without having sex. Here are just a few off the top of my head – dinner and a movie, a day trip, dancing – none of these has to include sex to be fun.

Tara, who is usually self-centered, helps Kelly prepare for her fight party by vacuuming their place. But knowing her friend like she does, Kelly knows Tara is up to something and asks what she wants. She asks to borrow $100 for “womanscaping.” However, she becomes undone when she discovers that her waxing lady has gone on tour with Beyoncé and won’t be back for some time.

Between Jenna’s mean case of “Writer’s Block” and Tara’s missing Wax Lady, Kelly is incensed that the two won’t take the focus off of themselves for once and help her prepare for her fight party. As she cuts vegetables for the party and chews out her friends at the same time, she cuts a chunk out of one of her fingers and should go to a hospital emergency room. But that would mean she would have to cancel her fight party and she refuses to let her friends or Donovan win in their attempts, whether intentionally or not, to derail her plans.

Now that Jenna and Tara realize just how important this party is to Kelly, they decide to handle their own problems. First of all, Jenna takes a shower as Kelly has been asking her to do all day so that she can get ready for the party. As it turns out, she gets ideas for her article in the shower! I have found that anything with an “ing” at the end helps me to get ideas – whether it is showering, running, driving…Tara waxes herself. While her results are not as good as Jenna’s results, she gets it done. Now the two can focus on helping their friend, who has camouflaged her bandaged bleeding hand with a stylish boxing glove, host the fight party.

But just when the fight is about to start and after Kelly party goers have begun chomping on her sub of “pure deliciousness,” she turns on the television to discover that nothing is on. Jenna forgot to pay the cable bill! Without the main course of the fight to devour, Kelly’s party is now a lost cause. Donovan, going in for the kill, suggests that everyone come over to his place where they can eat his crab dip AND watch the fight. Kelly, at this point, has no choice but to turn on her friends, accusing Jenna of sleeping with a whopping 50 guys (soooo that’s why she’s a born again virgin) and Tara of never having a real job! But the women find a way to end their fight as they watch “Mahogany” once their cable has been reactivated. They quote one of my favorite lines from the movie. “Success is nothing without someone you love to share it with.”

I believe the last two episodes of “Born Again Virgin” for this season will air this Wednesday, but according to Deadline.com, TV One has ordered another season of the show so the show will return early next year!

Any thoughts?

Posted on Thursday, September 3, 2015

Does Technical Virginity Exist? : ‘Born Again Virgin’ Season 1 Episode 6 Recap…

Hello World,

Disclaimer: This episode of “Born Again Virgin” was a wee bit more risqué than previous episodes so if you are shy about sexual topics, please stop reading now.

This episode was aptly and euphemistically titled “Secret Garden” so that should give a huge hint as to the direction of this post. In this episode, Jenna’s followers have asked her if you can have oral sex and still be a virgin. First, she discusses the issue with her roommates Tara and Kelly. Tara believes that oral sex is simply foreplay, but then she jokingly accuses Jenna of trying to find a “loophole in the virginity clause.” As Jenna realizes she is unsettled on the matter, she decides to seek out an expert opinion and meets with a woman who calls herself “The Headmaster” as she teaches a class on oral sex. And this is where things get interesting if you love the ’90s like I do! Remember the white lady on “In Living Color,” the hilarious sketch comedy show that introduced us to comedic geniuses like Jim Carrey and Jamie Foxx? Her name is Kelly Coffield Park (trivia sidebar: She was in my high school English’s teacher’s wedding according to him! Hi Mr. Stephens 🙂 ), and she portrays the

Kelly Coffield Park

“The Headmaster” in this episode. Obviously, their conversation, which Jenna is videotaping for her blog, goes over the top very fast! For example, the Headmaster says that “oral sex is today’s good night kiss” and takes out sex toys during their very public conversation in a restaurant. Well, alrighty then…

Kelly is having an existential sex crisis of her own when her mother mistakenly texts her sexy i.e. naked pictures of herself. When Tara sees the pics, she notices two things: that Kelly will age well as her as her body is concerned and that someone else must have taken the pics because she sees Kelly’s mother’s hands. So not only is the naked thing irritating to Kelly, the fact that her mom has finally moved on after her father’s death is also troubling. So Kelly decides to visit Historic Grant Park where her mother lives to see what is going on up close and “in living color” so to speak.

Tara, who thinks she is the hottest roommate of the three, is insulted when after bringing her latest dude Bruce home, she realizes that he has already dated Jenna when they were in college. He refers to her as “Jenna & Juice,” and they laugh it up. By the way they interact, it is obvious that what went down is that they obviously got down when they were in college.

So after Jenna meets with the Headmaster, she decides to ask random strangers in a restaurant about their views on oral sex. They agree to discuss their views on camera, and their answers runs the gamut. She realizes that for some, there are different degrees of virginity similarly to different degrees of vegetarianism. For some vegetarians, eggs, for example, are okay but for others vegetarians, they are not. Jenna realizes that oral sex is not something she wants on her menu and decides to adhere to a more traditional view of virginity. What is your take?

When Kelly arrives at her mother’s house, she meets Rob i.e. her mom’s sexting partner and new live-in and much younger boyfriend! Kelly questions her mother about her boyfriend and being faithful to her deceased father (whom she was married to for 30 years) to which her mother replies, “If you want me to kiss your father, I would have to dig him up. And he wasn’t that good of a kisser when he was alive.” She also explains that after Kelly’s father died, she joined the church and got a hobby among other options she tried to keep her occupied, but none of the options kept her “warm at night.” Just uhhh…Who wants to hear all that from your mama?! When her mother leaves the room, she has some real talk with Rob, asking him if he a gold digger or truly interested in her mother. He tells her that wonders of wonders, he is actually interested in Kelly’s mother and that she will have to get used to it. Kelly’s mother also tells her that she is partly to blame for her new relationship as Kelly’s main form of communication with her is via text as she is busy pursuing her pr career and isn’t really there for her. Kelly realizes that she should spend more time with her mother even if now she has to share her with Rob.

After Jenna’s uncomfortable reunion with Bruce, Tara has some real talk of her own with Bruce about what actually happened with Jenna. She tells Bruce that she doesn’t understand how he can like sweet potato pie and pumpkin pie, and that black people only say they like pumpkin pie to appease their white friends. (It is true that black people, for the most part, eat sweet potato pie while white people seem to favor pumpkin pie. Why is that?) He is obviously confused until she explains that she is sweet potato pie and Jenna is pumpkin pie. He says that he actually likes both. But his answer does not satisfy Tara’s ego, and she decides she just cannot see a man who has seen her roommate naked.

At the end of the episode, Jenna, Kelly & Tara dish on oral sex, Kelly’s mama’s delicious new bae (before anyone else…So I learned what bae means in this episode!) and sweet potato pie versus pumpkin pie in the kitchen. Jenna’s mom, whom we find out is white (so maybe she really is pumpkin pie), discovers Jenna’s blog and is mortified. I’m predicting some mother-daughter interaction with them in future episodes. Kelly realizes that her and her mother have the same taste and had she met Rob first, she would have sampled him too. Ewwww….Tara creates a poster board which she posts pics of her previous boyfriends and Jenna’s previous boyfriends to find out if their paths have ever crossed before the Bruce revelation so that they can prevent future relationship reunions and break the bonds of Eskimo sisterhood.

Any thoughts?