Posted on Sunday, January 10, 2016

How To Achieve Your Goals, Dreams & Resolutions in One Year…

Hello World,

It’s been a while since I’ve gotten really personal on this space but since it is a New Year, the time of the year that many of us reserve to reassess our personal and professional goals, dreams, resolutions, etc., I have decided to let you into my head…

I have LOTS of dreams, but two are most important to me….one is personal and one is professional and only God and my husband know all about them right now and they will remain that way for now…

However, back in 2008, I also had LOTS of dreams and similarly to what is going on in my life now, two of them – (one was personal and one was professional) surpassed the rest…As I shared in a previous post in 2013, but did not share then, “I wanted to meet and get married to the man God kept for me, and I wanted to be a published author.” In 2008, it seemed nothing I did got me any closer to my dreams, but as I look back, God was leading me to the realization of my dreams…I just couldn’t see it then…

So let me take you back to 2007-2008…I was 34 years old and had gotten reacquainted with a man I dated in college. We had a lot a fun when we dated in college but we just didn’t work out as a couple. However, we had kept in touch here and there over the years, and we decided to give it a try again. Being the storyteller that I am, it seemed like the perfect ending to a long and winding story. College fun turns into lasting love…But that is not what happened…For all of the things we had in common and all of the fun we still had, he was not a churchgoing Christian man and that was a deal breaker for me…He was not an atheist, but he just didn’t think it was necessary to go to church…Nothing I did, said or prayed changed that so we broke up, and I was heartbroken…

So I did what made sense for me to do right then…I turned my pain into profit and pitched an article to UPSCALE magazine about why black men don’t go to church…An editor liked and approved the idea, and I happily tracked down sources for the article…One of those sources was Dr. Jawanza Kunjufu, the author of book “Adam! Where Are You?: Why Most Black Men Don’t Go to Church” Now, here is where the story gets kinda spooky or super spiritual depending on how you look at it. I read his book before I interviewed him, and I was shocked to read one of the illustrations in his book about someone who was looking for a black man in church. This illustration featured a woman named Jackie who was 34 years old and had made all of the “right moves” but was still unable to meet the right churchgoing man…Hello, my name was (is) Jackie, I was 34 and I had felt I had made all of the “right moves” and still hadn’t met the churchgoing man of my dreams…I knew then that the interview was one of those pebbles that God throws down on your path to let you know that you are moving in the right direction…After I interviewed Dr. Kunjufu, I told him I was a lot like the “Jackie” in his book and even he was surprised that we shared some of the exact same qualities…In fact, he later e-mailed these words to me – “I enjoyed our interview, and I believe God has your husband waiting for you!” By the way, my article was published in the August 2008 issue of UPSCALE magazine…

Meanwhile, I also felt stalled in my professional life…I mean I had some wonderful things going on…I had secured freelance writing opportunities that made it possible for me not to have the traditional 9 to 5 gig and I was profoundly grateful, but I had wanted to be a published book author since I was a little girl…And it seemed that every door I tried to walk through to make it happen was eventually slammed in my face…In 2007, I had gone to a writers conference in Philadelphia and had attracted the attention of the senior acquisitions editor of my DREAM publishing company…He enthusiastically took my book proposal and promised he would be in touch soon…He kept his promise and within a couple of weeks, he e-mailed me…I thought it had to be good news because only good news comes that fast…but it wasn’t…He e-mailed these words to me – “I read over your book proposal, My Journey, but my marketing department tells me that this is a hard kind of book for them to sell nationally, and so I have to reject it. Sorry.” I bet he wasn’t as sorry as I was…I was salty about that…

But I also realized that if I had gotten the attention of the senior acquisitions editor, I had something to offer even if it wasn’t quite right yet…At that same conference, I had pitched my book “My Journey” (which is what the book was called then…What a boring title!) to someone else in the publishing industry, and I had used the words “after the altar call” in the pitch…She told me I should rename my book “After the Altar Call.” Also, at that same conference, I learned about having a “platform” and why every nonfiction author had to have one…By the following year, I decided I was going to be the next blogger who turned it into a book…After the Altar Call was born in September 2008…

It would take TWO MORE YEARS before these two dreams would come into fruition… By 2010, I had dated more men but those relationships hadn’t worked out either…But there was a guy at my church who I knew I had a crush on me, but he wasn’t my usual type so I never took him seriously…by then, I thought well, I will give him a chance…That guy revealed himself to be my husband in 2010…Also, after two years of blogging, it occurred to me that if my story and platform weren’t enough by themselves maybe I should include the stories and platforms of other women in a new book proposal for After the Altar Call: The Sisters’ Guide to Developing a Personal Relationship With God…That was the key that unlocked a door that had been previously slammed in my face…I secured a book deal that year…

So how do you achieve your goals, dreams & resolutions in one year?

Well, there is good news and bad news…In my experience, some of the best goals, dreams and resolutions can be achieved in one year, but it usually takes years to get there…But the good news is if you trust in God and in His timing, you will receive God’s best for you…It goes back to my favorite verse:

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

Any thoughts?

Posted on Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Engagement Enigma: ‘Born Again Virgin’ Season 2 Episode 2 Recap…

Hello World,

I was wondering when the BAV writers were going to address that Tara got engaged in the season 1 finale of “Born Again Virgin” and they did in last night’s episode. If you don’t remember all of the details of Tara’s engagement, please see “Crushin’ & Cussin’: ‘Born Again Virgin’ Season 1 Episode 8 & 9 (the Season Finale!) Recaps.” Well, in the true “over-the-topness” that we’ve come to love in Tara, she is “turnt” about planning her engagement party. The only problem is that Enrique, the man to which she is affianced, is mysteriously missing from her plans – hence my title “Engagement Enigma.” (Y’all like that, right?). Exhibit A: Tara gives invitations to Jenna and Kelly, whom she asks to be her maids of honor (also known as “indentured servants in pretty dresses” per Kelly) to mail, but her fiancé’s name is nowhere on the invitation…No bueno para Enrique…

But working as “indentured servants in pretty dresses” is not the only thing that Jenna & Kelly worry about in this episode. Since Kelly quit her job last season (again, see my recap above for the details), Jenna must share her “work space” (basically, the kitchen) with Kelly. While Kelly is accustomed to a more professional environment, Jenna has a “process” she must go through before she starts her work day. This “process” includes dancing in the kitchen to Kelly’s irritation. As a writer, I get the “process.” (The “process” is comprised of the habits, behaviors, etc. that you do to coax your creativity to come out and play so to speak. My process includes a cup of tea, rocking back and forth in my chair like I’m an idiot and 10-minute naps…don’t ask me why this works, but it does…) Anywho, Jenna and Kelly argue about working out their mutual work space so that it works for both of them…

Despite their differences, Jenna and Kelly are united in their desire to meet Enrique, since Tara has yet to introduce him to them. She finally brings him over, but after meeting him, they are more puzzled than ever. First of all, Tara knows more about planning engagement parties than she does about Enrique. For example, she thinks he is from Spain when he is from Puerto Rico (I love Old San Juan by the way.). He went to Columbia University not NYU as Tara thought. And he speaks French in addition to Spanish and English. Jenna suggests that Tara read an article titled “Am I Marrying the Man or the Ring?” but Tara is too busy planning her engagement party to focus on minor details. She announces that she has booked Chef Roblé to cater the party even she though used to “hook up” with the chef, the engagement party will be held at the Atlanta Botanical Garden and she will be arriving in a helicopter sans Enrique. When Jenna continues to try to confront Tara about focusing on the engagement sans Enrique, she accuses her of being mad that she got engaged without having to give up sex. Ouch.

Meanwhile Kelly has taken “work from home” to another level as she hires an assistant Morgan who shows up in their kitchen one morning. Now, when Jenna wants to speak with Kelly, she must make an appointment through Morgan which is obviously ridiculous. This takes their tiff over the top! Tara, on the other hand, is forced to turn down a lil bit when she discovers the botanical garden is booked and that she has been banned from the establishment! She finally decides to get Enrique’s input about the party. To her surprise, he suggests they skip the engagement party altogether and just tie the knot. Now, Tara is confused. For all of her excitement about being engaged (AND she has been engaged eight times before), she has no actual experience with being married…She realizes she is committed to being engaged but marriage is a different commitment altogether…LOL…A good thing to know before getting married…More to be revealed in future BAV episodes obviously…

Kelly and Jenna demonstrate their commitment to their friendship when they finally work out their work arrangement. Kelly admits she is “freaking out” now that she has quit her job and is trying to build a company, and Jenna, who is still trying to build her blog readership (I know all about that), understands the struggle…

So what did you think of this episode?

Any thoughts?

Posted on Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Future Shock: ‘Born Again Virgin’ Season 2 Episode 1 Recap (It’s BACK!!!)

Hello World,

“Born Again Virgin” AND my recaps are back!!! (Both are reasons to celebrate in my opinion 🙂 ) This episode is called “Home Sweet Old Folks Home” as Jenna, Kelly and Tara visit a senior center to help Kelly’s Aunt Maxine, who is turning 100, celebrate her milestone birthday. However, I also think this episode could be called “Future Shock” because the ladies meet women who could be older versions of themselves and it shocks them into taking action! The first shock of the visit happens when Kelly discovers that Rick’s mother is working there. For those who may not know or remember, Rick is Kelly’s secret sensation. She loves him but decides she has to break off their relationship because Rick lives with his mother and owes $200 to her. Yes, he’s that dude: the boy who hasn’t quite figured out how to become a man.

While Kelly sets up the party for her favorite aunt in a community room called the Boom Boom room (although Rick’s mother says the room’s name is a misnomer since the seniors prefer sneaking to a stairwell to have sex. Yes…apparently, sex still happens in senior centers!!!), Tara wanders off into another room where she sees Gigi Halston, an actress who lives at the senior center. Tara recognizes Ms. Gigi from a laxative commercial and is intrigued as the advanced age actress is entertaining some of the seniors with her singing.

Jenna encounters a woman named Eloise who is reading Zora Neale Huston’s classic “Their Eyes Were Watching God.” Eloise, who is inspired by Teacake and Janie’s love, starts to tell her own love story to Jenna, who is wondering when her love will come along. (Earlier in the episode, she reveals she is looking for a man who has the character of President Obama, the humor of Kevin Hart and the soul of Bruno Mars!) Ms. Eloise, who looks to be a stately senior, surprises Jenna when she reveals that the love of her life was her lover on the side! Ms. Eloise was an adulteress who had an affair with a plumber named David. It was a winding story as David had a jail stint.

Meanwhile back at Aunt Maxine’s party, Rick shows up to Kelly’s surprise. He brings a cross heirloom piece to the birthday girl and charms all of her friends. In his conversation with the seniors, he reveals that he actually has a job as a manager at a sub shop AND he has a classic car, a Trans Am. One of the more spirited seniors says she got pregnant in a Trans Am back in the day. Kelly is starting to see that if her life continues as it has been, she may end up alone in a senior center herself. She also realizes that Rick is becoming more responsible even if for the time being, he still lives with his mother. “Baby steps,” his mother says to her, to describe Rick’s progress. She sneaks Rick into the stairwell for some senior center action and decides she will give him a second chance.

As Kelly and Rick get reacquainted, Ms. Gigi, who has unabashedly appeared in 78 Blaxploitation films, challenges Tara to take charge of her career and asks if she can sing and dance. After Tara tells Ms. Gigi that singing and dancing are not a part of her repertoire, Ms. Gigi challenges her to perform a monologue. Ms. Gigi performs “Desdamona” from “Othello” while Tara takes her on with “The Message” from Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five! Hilarious! By the end of the impromptu senior center showcase, Tara realizes that she has a ways to go to be a true thespian like Ms. Gigi.

Jenna was about to hear the end of Ms. Eloise’s story when the ladies have to be leave the senior center in a hurry after Rick gets into a fight while playing dice with one of the seniors. Apparently, one of the seniors presses the panic button and Rick’s mother tells them they have to leave before they are reprimanded for Rick’s shenanigans. So days later, Jenna returns to the senior center to visit Ms. Eloise and find out what happened to Ms. Eloise and David. However, she is shocked to discover that Ms. Eloise has since made her transition, but Rick’s mother tells her that Ms. Eloise did leave something that may comfort Jenna as she grieves her loss. She brings out Ms. Eloise’s son David Jr., who is the love child of Ms. Eloise and David Sr. and is at the senior center to get this mother’s things. David Jr. offers to tell Jenna the end of the story over lunch…

It’s true that wisdom is best acquired by age, and if you want to peak into the future, a senior center is a good place to start looking.

Any thoughts?