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The Top 10 Blog Posts and or Articles for Black Christian Women in September 2016

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Hello World,

I’m such a media junkie that I often have a difficult time figuring out where I should be directing my attention…Perhaps, I have a bit of ADHD…Last month, I was struck that black people have much to celebrate due to the September opening of the Smithsonian National Museum of African American History and Culture  (and if you’re in the Washington D.C. area, this event, Getting to Know the Museum: I, Too, Am America, on Tuesday, sounds like a winner!) and yet there is a ways to go as black people continue to struggle with the police shootings of unarmed black men throughout the country…And then as the nation’s first black president, President Barack Obama, prepares to exit his post and either the nation’s first female president in Hillary Clinton will be at the helm or the hell-raiser, Donald Trump, whom I’m convinced is the unwieldy harvest of seeds sown by Republican obstruction as Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid so wisely noted…There are so many issues that are deserving of our attention…

All of that being noted, I’m always taking note of blog posts and or articles that illuminate the path for black Christian women as I am one… So below is my Top 10 monthly roundup of blog posts and or articles for black Christian women ( but you don’t have be a black Christian woman to to check them out:) ! ) As usual, let me know if you like my list! Enjoy and share!

“The Cult of Heather Lindsey: Examining the Rise of the Purity Movement & One of Its Most Magnanimous Leaders” by D. Danyelle

Excerpt:  It’s also not hard to see the physical traits of her biracial genetics. The (biological) daughter of a Mexican-German mother and Black father, her resulting lotto of favorable biracial features is prominent. Outfitted with “light skin and good hair,” she represents the top of the social pecking order for Black women. It is a pecking order that favors lighter hues over darker ones in everything from income and occupation to dating and marriage outcomes.

Certainly, Heather has absolutely no control over her genetic makeup. Heather, while a beautiful woman, possesses a physical appearance that doesn’t represent most Black women. It is not to say that she was chosen solely because of her fair skin, petite figure or standard Eurocentric features. But when dating, she had an advantage that much of her audience does not. An advantage that would have made her more likely to marry than a darker hued woman with or without sexual abstinence. See more at: theunfitchristian.com.

“What Shall We Say to These Things? The Implications of Black Women’s Singleness” by Candice Benbow

Excerpt: I know all too well the implications of singleness for Black women. My mother, 60 and never married, died alone at home. We found her hours later. For the past nine months, I have replayed scenarios of my mother’s final moments if she was married. My stepfather would have been home. He would have been able to call the police. She wouldn’t have been alone. Since she passed, I’ve realized how much my life mirrors hers. I am single and live alone. While at my age she had a daughter, I only have a dog…and I’m seriously considering getting a landline phone and enrolling him in specialty classes to know how to nudge the phone over with his nose and hit a button to call 911 in case of an emergency (yes, those classes exist). I do not talk to someone every day, several times a day like I talked to my mother. That means no one knows my schedule intimately enough to know when I’m off of it and need a check-in. And I’m not the only person who experiences life like this. These implications are real. See more at: candicebenbow.com.

“Involuntary Singleness Too Often Feels Like Punishment” by Mariam Williams

Excerpt: How do you plan to handle potentially lifelong, involuntary celibacy? It’s a question I’ve never had anyone in church leadership or a layperson in a heart-to-heart discussion ask me that directly, because it is never assumed that a heterosexual woman, and even more specifically a heterosexual black woman who is an active church member will be single forever — even though abstinence until marriage is still taught and to some degree expected; even though such black women are still expected and often themselves demand to marry a churchgoing, Christian man; and even though women of all races far outnumber men in churches in all denominations. See more at: ncronline.org.

“Find Out Why These Black Men Won’t Date Black Women” by Veronica Wells

Excerpt: Then 33-year-old Koro said that Black women don’t want him because he’s a God-fearing man, practicing celibacy. He also said that in the church, if you don’t have a collar, the women don’t want to talk to him. That story was so odd, all I could wonder was what church he goes to. Because I know good and well how many church women are also on a celibacy journey trying to achieve their spiritual goals. If Koro had any type of decency, Black women would be about that life. See more at: madamenoire.com.

“Why Voluptuous is Applauded Everywhere…Except School and Church, Apparently” by Kimberly Peeler-Ringer

Excerpt: “You’re too big for that.” This is the subtle shaming background music with lyrics for big black girls everywhere. And that word ‘big’ is loaded all by itself: big as in taller, big as in wider, big as in curvier…and heaven help you if you possess all three, which is exactly my testimony. I am 5’10.” I am not petite, I am brown-skinned. I am curvy, and both my dress and shoe sizes are larger than a size 8.

So when I saw photos of this Atlanta fourth grade teacher all over my social media platforms, and all the negative comments on repeat that exclaimed “that is inappropriate,” “teachers should dress modestly” and of course, the old standby, “she’s too big for that,” I knew I had to say something on behalf of curve-shamed sistas everywhere. See more at: thechurchedfeminist.com.

“50 Years Later, Why Are Black Churches Still Under Attack?” by Courtney Hall Lee

Excerpt: But just because a church is full of Christians doesn’t mean it isn’t full of flawed people. My podcast partner Karen recently said that some Christians diminish the existence of systemic racism by saying, “There is no black and no white, there are just people and sin.” I agree that race is a construct and that hate is a sin. But I believe that willful ignorance is also a sin, and it is the willful ignorance of the systemic racism in our country that is indeed sinful. This willful blindness is where the church failed both the four little girls and the Charleston Nine. See more at: sojo.net.

“Donald Trump Didn’t Keep His Word in Flint, Pastor Says” by Asawin Suebsaeng

Excerpt: Rev. Faith Green Timmons made herself Donald Trump’s latest public enemy in just 20 words. The Flint, Michigan, pastor and her church, Bethel United Methodist Church, had invited the Republican presidential nominee to speak Wednesday about the city’s water crisis, and efforts to combat it. When Trump began attacking Hillary Clinton from the pulpit (“Everything she touched didn’t work out”), Timmons intervened. See more at: thedailybeast.com.

“At Congressional Black Caucus Panel, Rep. Fudge Says, ‘If You Do Dot Vote, You Are Just Selfish.’ “by Vanessa Williams

Excerpt: Melanie Campbell, president of the Black Women’s Roundtable, recounted a conversation she had with a black man at the barber shop. Referring to Clinton, he said, “Miss Melanie, I can’t vote for her.” She said she “broke it down to him, in explicit terms” what was at stake if Trump won the election. “He said, ‘All right, Miss Melanie, I got you.’” See more at: washingtonpost.com.

“Black Priest Walks in ‘slave’ Chains to Promote Remembrance” 

Excerpt: One of the first black women to be ordained in the Church of England has called for a national day of remembrance for slavery. The Reverend Canon Eve Pitts of Holy Trinity Church, Birchfield, Birmingham, said she wrapped herself in chains and walked around her church to remind herself of her ancestors’ suffering. See more at: bbc.com.

“Remembering Carrie Collins, Littleton Teacher and Figure in Colorado Black Music Community” by Joe Rubino

Excerpt: If you went to elementary school in Littleton between 1965 and 1986, there is chance Carrie Collins was your music teacher. But Collins’ work as the first African-American woman ever hired as a vocal music teacher instructor in a suburban Denver school district is only part of her story and the impact she made on Colorado and the country. See more at: denverpost.com.

If you know of any black Christian women bloggers and or writers, please e-mail me at jacqueline@afterthealtarcall.com as I’m always interested in expanding my community of black Christian women blogs and websites. As I noted before, while this is a roundup of interesting blog posts and or articles for black Christian women, you don’t have to be one to appreciate these pieces :).

Any thoughts?

 

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Reflections on Being a PK (Preacher’s Kid) on Father’s Day…

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Hello World,

So I’m a Daddy’s Girl, but the older I’ve gotten, I’ve realized I’m also a Mama’s Girl. That being said since it is Father’s Day, I will focus on being the former. What has defined my relationship with my father is the fact that my dad is the Rev. Dr. Denzil D. Holness, pastor of Central Christian Church in Southwest Atlanta since I was six years old! And incidentally, my grandfather, my mother’s father, was a pastor and so is her brother, my uncle!

Growing up with a devout preacher of God, my father, and a daughter of a preacher, my mother, was wonderful and challenging at the same time…First of all, my brothers and I always felt loved and cherished by our parents. They encouraged each of us to become kind and empathetic people. They encouraged each of us to pursue our dreams. And most of all, they encouraged each of us to have personal relationships with God…

But, they had a TON of rules…And sometimes I found creative (read: I lied) ways to get around these rules…Maybe that is because they are churchy AND Jamaican! (Because I’ve never met an older Jamaican that didn’t believe in law and order…)

My father made it clear once I started high school that I could not go to dances even though all of my friends went to dances…I felt like Ariel, the preacher’s daughter in the original “Footloose.” Remember dancing and rock music were forbidden by the city council in their small town Bomont? So when I was in the tenth grade (if I am remembering correctly), I devised a scheme to go to my high school’s homecoming dance. As I was on the drill team and often got back from football games very late, I decided to tell my father that he didn’t have to pick me up from school until very late after a football game. I figured by the time he picked me up, I would have had at least an hour or so at the dance in the gym.

Imagine my surprise when as I was sitting with my all-time favorite crush, a handsome football player, on the bleachers, giggling like a lovesick girl that I was and what not, and the heavy doors of the gym suddenly swing open…A figure, illuminated by the light in the hallway, stood and surveyed the room. I felt like I was in a movie then because everything seemed to slow down. The figure wore a trench coat and his pajamas showed underneath. At once, I realized it was my father and he walked right up to me as if he had been magically bestowed with infrared vision. I was caught. If I could have passed out I would have as I became nearly mute with embarrassment. I HATED being a preacher’s daughter that night…

I found ways to date without my parents knowing as well. Although I was allowed to date when I was 16 years old, I didn’t always want my parents to know about every single date. So I claimed I joined a club at high school and we met on Wednesdays evenings after school. I figured that since my parents went to Bible Study at church on Wednesday evenings, they wouldn’t pay as much attention to what was going with this new club I joined, and I was right. So after school on Wednesdays, one guy in particular would pick me up from school and we would hang out throughout College Park where I grew up. He came all the way from the Dec (Decatur)to see me which seemed very far away at the time…Incidentally, he was a preacher’s kid too..Those were the days…I now know what the verse “Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come…” (Ecclesiastes 2:1)  means…Back then, in spite of the high school drama I occasionally experienced, every day felt like a new adventure…

My dad when he was much younger...

My dad when he was a younger pastor…

Aside from the rules, I often found myself in situations that have to be unique to preachers’ kids….

I had my first kiss in front of the church during Vacation Bible School the summer before eighth grade…The boy I kissed lived across the street from the church. After we smooched that summer night, of course we became boyfriend & girlfriend…LOL…So after church on Sundays, when everyone was socializing in the parking lot, I would slip away to cross the street to visit my new boyfriend’s house…I figured no one knew what was going on with me because they were all yapping which is what happens for at least a half of an hour after church is over…But one Sunday, as I was getting ready to cross the street to come back to the church grounds, I saw my father waiting on the corner…to this day, I don’t know who could have told him where I was…But that was the last time I went across the street after church to visit my boyfriend…

When I was even younger, I was always getting into fights – usually because of my mouth because I’m articulate like that and folk couldn’t take my verbal beatdowns. The trouble was though is that my verbal prowess didn’t translate into physical prowess so I got beat up a lot. Instead of taking my side in these fights, my father invited the people that I fought with over to our home. He would then give a mini-sermon about being a peace maker…It was worse than being beat up…You know I got joined (talked about) in the neighborhood…

I could go on and on…

And now that I’m an adult,  in spite of all of the rules and embarrassment, I wouldn’t change a thing about being a preacher’s kid aka a PK or a pastor’s daughter…It has made me who I am today 🙂

Happy Father’s Day to ALL fathers particularly those who are pastors and a very Happy Father’s Day to the Rev. Dr. Denzil D. Holness and my father-in-law 🙂

Any thoughts?

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Why Sherri Shepherd May Improve God’s Original Matchmaking in Season 2 of in We tv’s ‘Match Made in Heaven!’

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Hello World,

We’ve all read the story of how God put together Adam & Eve in the Garden of Eden in Genesis. Well, Sherri Shepherd, executive producer and host of Season 2 of We tv’s “Match Made in Heaven” is trying to put together her own match without the original sin of Eve falling for the devil’s temptation. Last night, I attended an Atlanta screening of the first episode of Season 2’s “Match Made in Heaven,” which will officially debut tonight at 10 p.m.EST  on WE tv!

Sherri, who is my favorite Christian celebrity and featured in my book “After the Altar Call: The Sisters’ Guide to Developing a Personal Relationship With God,” hosted the screening and explained why she got involved in the show. “When Elizabeth Hasselbeck would talk about the ‘The Bachelor’ every week on ‘The View,’ Whoopi and I were very vocal and would say, ‘Where is the black bachelor?’ It was very frustrating. I couldn’t continue to support a show without someone who looked like me.”  Sherri also told the audience why former professional football player and successful Atlanta businessman Stevie Baggs was chosen at this season’s bachelor. “I wanted a bachelor who had integrity, loved God and loved his mama, and we found one in Stevie Baggs.” Finally, she explained how “Match Made in Heaven” is different from “The Bachelor” other than having a black bachelor. “We have a chaplain from the Indianapolis Colts and the x-factor is Stevie’s mom. Any woman who has a son, you know you are very protective of your child. She is a firecracker. I want to show everyone that black love matters.”

SPOILER ALERT

If you don’t want to know what happens in this jaw-dropping first episode, stop reading now!

The episode starts off with Sherri standing in the middle of lush and picturesque green garden à la the Garden of Eden in front of a beautiful home in Los Angeles. She explains that Stevie Baggs, 33,will be searching for The One among 18 beautiful bachelorettes who will live together in the home. Each week, they will be offered temptation challenges, nestled in red apples, that are designed to show the true colors of the women. In the first episode, there is also another twist – Stevie’s mother Lola who pretends to be Mona the production assistant. As Mona, she goes undercover living with the women so that she can she see who is really good and who is actually evil. As we all know, we are who we really are when we think no one is watching, and how we treat people who are perceived to be “the least of these” is also a true test in character.

Meet the Bachelorettes

It’s hard to distinguish yourself among 18 women, but a few managed to stand out. First there is Alexandria, a 24-year-old virgin from San Francisco, California. But she is unlike any adult virgin I’ve met. Instead of being demure and classy, this “virgin” has all her assets on display so much so that “Mona” suggests that she wear a less risqué dress when is she getting dressed to meet Stevie for the first time. In addition, she also exhibits a lack of home training when she pours orange juice on the floor. I guess she thinks Mona the production assistant is Mona the maid. Then you’ve got Medgie, 30, who is from Brooklyn, New York and comes in yelling “Brooklyn in the house!” She’s obviously going to the house’s “around- the-way-girl” who keeps it real and raw.

Instead of the token black person, there is a token white person in Kimmy, a 32-year-old entrepreneur from San Antonio, Texas. There is Sincerely, a 33-year-old spa owner from Atlanta who was at the screening last night. She says she is looking for a man who is comfortable on the “red carpet and racetrack.” And last but not least is Elle, a 27-year-old publicist from Washington D.C., who runs to meet Stevie first when the ladies are given the opportunity to meet him for the first time. In addition to being aggressive, Elle reveals more of who she is when she says, “Clearly everyone wants their jacket,” in a dismissive tone when Mona asks if any of the ladies needs a jacket when they are out in the garden at night time.

stevie

Meet the Bachelor

Prior to the women meeting Stevie, he explains to Sherri why he is looking for love on “Match Made in Heaven.” “I haven’t found a woman who compliments me, and I compliment her.” He also admits that he is not perfect. “I’m a man who is not flawless, but I am faithful,” says Stevie, who played on 11 professional football teams, owns seven businesses and is a father of one daughter. Stevie also discusses his quest for love with Pastor Ken Johnson. “Are you really here for love,” asks Pastor Ken. After Stevie says yes, Pastor Ken explains that he should look for “a woman who can take care of a man’s heart.” The time has come for Stevie to meet the ladies. Prior to meeting the bachelorettes, Sherri describes Stevie to the women. “He is chocolate goodness. If you are a borderline diabetic, you’re going to need some insulin!”

Love at First Sight?

Lachia, a 29-year-old Latina from Philly, has the most dramatic reaction to Stevie, and tells Stevie that it is “love at first sight.” (Smh…Even if you feel that way, never tell a man that on the first date because there won’t be a second one. That is scary.” Medgie (is that short for something?) yells, “God bless him” after seeing Stevie for the first time. Stevie is impressed by Sincerely, who wore a roomy and flowing dress that didn’t show everything unlike Alexandria the Virgin. Stevie isn’t shy about asking Kimmy if her family will have a problem with her seeing a black man. She assures him that, “Color does mean anything.”

Elimination Day

Just about every woman’s mouth opened like they were at the dentist’s office when Mona explained that she was really Lola, Steve’s mother. She also explained that she had the first choice in who was being eliminated. I thought she was going to choose Elle after her jacket comment, but she chose Alexandria, who she called out for acting like a harlot and pouring orange juice on the carpet. But she did put her son on notice about Elle and her choice of words. Elle, who attempted to be apologetic, says, “I’m not perfect. I am a work in progress.” Umm okay..Lola also noted that she found some dirty underwear left on the floor of the bathroom. While she was unable to figure out who left the underwear, she told the women that domestic skills are also important and praised Medgie for not letting Mona clean up after her.

After the first elimination, Sherri explains to the women that instead of a rose, the women will get a text to find out if they can stay or if they have to leave. Tiffany, who I don’t remember much about, is sent home and that is probably why she was sent home. If Stevie is unsure about any of the women, they will get a text telling them to meet him on the bridge in the garden for a discussion. Erica, an attorney, Elle and Lachia get “need to talk” texts.  After Elle assures Stevie that her attitude has been adjusted, he decides that she can stay and notes that she is one of the most beautiful women in the house. Stevie gives Lachia a chance to explain her “love in first sight” comment, but instead of backing away from the comment, she assures Stevie that she is really in love. Stevie decides to send her home, stating that he is looking for love but not in love at that moment.

So y’all I’m thinking of recapping season 2 of “Match Made in Heaven,” which debuts tonight at 10 p.m. on WE tv!

Here is a video from last night’s screening. Sherri interviews Stevie and his mother Lola…

What do y’all think?

Any thoughts?