Category Archives: dating

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7 Reasons Why I Love That Michelle Williams of Destiny’s Child is Engaged to Pastor Chad Johnson!

Hello World,

By now, you’ve probably heard that Michelle Williams, a member of the former trio Destiny’s Child, is engaged to Pastor Chad Johnson! I ALWAYS LOVE a love story, but I particularly love a love story that demonstrates how God works! Won’t He Do It?! Yes, He did and that is evident in how God brought the two of them together (at least from what we are privy to via the media)! Let me break down seven reasons why I love the love story of Michelle Williams and Pastor Chad Johnson…

1. Michelle Williams had to wait on the Lord…We’ve all heard that God is an on-time God, and He is. But the caveat is He may not come when you want Him to come, but He’s always on time…I must confess that I hate that sometimes…God’s timing that is…But there are so many verses that address waiting on God’s timing that I have to conclude that waiting is a part of the Christian life…Below are three of these verses:

“Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.” Psalm 27:14

“The Lord is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.” Lamentations 3:25

“Therefore I will look unto the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation: my God will hear me.” Micah 7:7

I bet it was hard to watch Beyoncé get married 10  years ago, Kelly get married 4 years ago while Michelle, who is making gospel  albums, was just waiting for God’s best to arrive! She had even gotten to the point where she was bitter about love. This is a quote from  her Instagram page: “I used to be so bitter and a hater when Valentine’s Day  would come around. I even found myself tweeting things like “Valentine’s Day is for suckers!” Welp….I’m a sucker! The Lord has been kind!” But her “someday my prince will come” story started last year and from what I’ve read, he is an admiral man of God, a pastor no less! But like I’ve learned”“Eye has not seen, nor  ear heard, Nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him.” 1 Corinthians 2:9


2. Pastor Chad Johnson had to have faith in God that his princess was on the way…Do you know that without faith it is  impossible to  please God? It says so in Hebrews 11:6! Read it for yourself! What does that mean? That means when even when you  cannot see how God is going to come through, you just know that He is and act on that belief. That is what Pastor Chad did when  he started saving for an engagement ring that he would present to his fiancée 11 years ago!!! ““On my 30th birthday, everybody came and celebrated me. The next day, I woke up alone. I was so lonely. I had a little pity party. My personal life was lacking so much, and I  was living so single,” recalls Johnson, who turns 41 in July. “So as a response to that moment, I opened up a ring account, and for 11 years, I put $150 into a ring account.” Read the rest of this story at people.com. He bought her a 5-carat ROCK! You hear me! Now that’s faith!!!

3. Michelle & Pastor Chad were looking for God before they were looking for each other…God absolutely insists that no one come before Him! And waiting/searching for that mate can become an idol if we’re not careful. But from what I’ve read, Michelle & Pastor Chad did not succumb to that temptation…They met at a Christian retreat…”Though Williams and Johnson hit it off immediately, both remained focused on the purpose of the Elevate International retreat. “I mean, he was cute,” the singer admits, “but I did not go to flirt with the pastor!”” Read the rest of the story at people.com. 

4. Pastor Chad tried to holla at Michelle first…Y’all, I’m a liberated woman. Trust. But I have learned that man likes to hunt not be hunted. I know there are some who think that a woman should ask a man out, but I’m not one of them. Now I think it’s cool to flirt and let a dude know you’re interested but pushing up first i.e. asking a man out makes them feel like they got cheated in the game of pursuit…Like my favorite rapper Tupac says, “Hate to sound sleazy, but tease me, I don’t want it if it’s that easy.” And in the Bible it says, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord.” Proverbs 18:22

5. Michelle & Pastor Chad pushed beyond negative experiences…As you get older, unfortunately, often negative experiences   come our way. That is why God’s word says that we are to remember our creator in the days of our youth before the evil days come.   And when they do come, if we have that foundation of faith, we know that sun will shine again after the rain and there is ultimately gain in our pain…Both Michelle and Pastor Chad were having negative experiences personally when they met, but they pushed beyond  that to  come together…“When we met, both of us were in very similar places on a personal level,” says Johnson, who at the time had all but given up dating. “Michelle was coming off the heels of a really bad relationship, and I was just in a place of despair as well.”

6. Michelle & Pastor Chad were willing to try “something new…”…One of my favorite movies of all times is the 2006 movie “Something  New” in which black corporate exec Kenya McQueen dates and eventually marries white landscaping company owner Brian Kelly. At first, she is wary of  dating  a white man not only because of his race but also because he is not a corporate type. But his temperament and demeanor prove to be what she  needed all along…Although Pastor Chad could pass for black (at least from pictures and has the nerve to have a black last name LOL) he is, in fact, white. And he is willing to be with a superstar and all  that must entail. And he has proven to be up to the challenge according to Michelle’s Instragam page: “That amazing feeling of getting off the stage, running   back to the dressing room and I see someone standing there waiting for me! I always wondered how our worlds would mesh. I always wanted to protect who you  are, your ministry and platform because people are nuts and cruel, but you have covered me, prayed for me and told me that wherever I go, and whatever  stage I stand on to be a light! Soooooooo sorry I jumped on you but I’m glad to know you have muscles to hold me! You so stronnnnnnnng! 😂😂 I’ve waited  yeeeeeeears for someone who could come in to my world and be CONFIDENT and NOT insecure, love who I love and genuinely be there for people!! I LOVE YOU.”

That amazing feeling of getting off the stage, running back to the dressing room and I see someone standing there waiting for me! I always wondered how our worlds would mesh. I always wanted to protect who you are, your ministry and platform because people are nuts and cruel, but you have covered me, prayed for me and told me that wherever I go, and whatever stage I stand on to be a light! Soooooooo sorry I jumped on you but I’m glad to know you have muscles to hold me! You so stronnnnnnnng! 😂😂 I’ve waited yeeeeeeears for someone who could come in to my world and be CONFIDENT and NOT insecure, love who I love and genuinely be there for people!! I LOVE YOU @chadjohnson77!!! ❤️ #HoldOn #LoveIsComing #IPrayRealTrueGodlyLoveForEveryone #ThankYouJesus 📸: @parsons

A post shared by Michelle Williams (@michellewilliams) on

7. Michelle & Pastor Chad’s engagement story is viral…You don’t have to be a superstar for God to work in your life, but when God has orchestrated a blessing in a star’s life, God’s name is lifted up! There are people out there who need to know that God loves and cares for each one of us and sometimes God elevates people so that His Good News can be spread throughout the world. What was Destiny’s Child –  Beyoncé, Kelly & Michelle – have had a worldwide stage in Coachella these past two weeks. And it was during this time that Michelle and Pastor Chad announcement their godly engagement! God is the ultimate show director and we are but characters in His world. I believe that He wanted as many people as possible to know that what He did for them, he can do for you if only you would have that personal relationship with Him FIRST…

So do you love that Michelle Williams of Destiny’s Child fame is engaged to Pastor Chad Johnson?

Won’t He Do It? Yes, He Did…I LOVE this song below…Check it out…

And if you want to look up more Bible verses, please go to biblegateway.com. 

Any thoughts?

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Why Ciara & Pastor John Gray Are Right To Advise Single Ladies to Level Up…

Hello World,

I know that I’ve been gone for a few days. Due to a family emergency, my hubby and I ventured up north to last Tuesday and just got back on Sunday. And once I returned to my regular Internet habits, I was bombarded with the backlash that R&B star Ciara faced from single ladies over the weekend simply because of a snippet of a Pastor John Gray sermon that she tweeted. See the message that had black Twitter blazing below…

What about this is offensive? I don’t get it…but below are some of the criticisms that Ciara faced after she tweeted this sermon snippet…

From The Grio:

“All Gray did in that clip was plant the “Pick Me” seed—the belief that women who behave in a certain way are worthy of marriage over others (e.g., being a homebody, being ride or die, prioritizing a man’s needs over their own, etc.)—into insecure women, and that is extremely dangerous.

For women still on the search for themselves, this type of rhetoric morphs into their internal law, leaving them either desperately seeking love or feeling worthless in its absence. And what’s worse, the Black Church has been weaponizing scriptures like these to target those insecurities, manipulate women and make women more subordinate for years.”

From Twitter:

From The Real:

So I have a few thoughts about this criticism (obviously since I’m writing this post). First of all, ever since Ciara dared to leave her first child’s father Future, who has several children with several woman, and marry devout Christian football star Russell Wilson, she has been the subject of unfair scrutiny. It’s almost as if folk are incensed that Ciara did not resign herself to be among Future’s harem of women just because she gave birth to his child and decided to level up with a man who wanted to be committed to her and her alone. So I think some of this backlash can be attributed to jealousy. Plain and simple.

Now as far as the other criticism is concerned, Ciara felt the need to clarify her position after all of the response she received from her tweet. See her Instagram post below:

❤️

A post shared by Ciara (@ciara) on

Obviously, after what happened with Future, this woman had a “Come to Jesus” moment. To be honest, as I watched her date him (from press reports) before their son was born, I thought she was downgrading herself. I remember seeing some picture with her and several mothers of his children and I wondered why anyone would voluntarily sign up for that…It didn’t seem that she truly loved herself AND you have to truly love yourself before anyone, romantic connection or otherwise, can love you…Below is the pic…I think one of these women is Future’s sister but the rest are mothers of his children…SMH…

Now obviously Ciara wanted to get married AND be in a monogamous relationship, and there is nothing wrong to aspiring to that. Marriage and or monogamy aren’t for some people but this message is for those single ladies who want to have these experiences. Furthermore, being married or single should not be ranked. A married woman is not better than a single woman and single woman is not better than a married woman. However, when I was single and wanted to be married, someone casually mentioned to me that maybe I needed to curb my friendships with my male friends. I know this sounds drastic, but I thought about it. At one point, I had several male friendships that I had cultivated over the years. Some were strictly platonic and some had an undercurrent of flirtation. This person explained that I needed to literally create space for a husband and that having all of these male friends filled the space that a husband needed to fill. It made sense so I slowly stopped cultivating those friendships. I mean I would talk to them if they called, but I didn’t reach out anymore.  In sum, I wanted to be a wife so I acted like I was one before it actually manifested. I think a wife’s primary male friendship should be with her husband and vice versa for the man.

But love and romance isn’t the only field where we should level up. If you want to be in a certain career, for example, it is common knowledge that you should present yourself like you are already in that career. If you want to buy a home, you should conduct yourself as a homeowner by taking charge of your credit, saving, etc. If nothing changes, nothing changes!

Now some are saying that Pastor Gray is focusing on women when the sermon should focus on men and women. I get that. But I haven’t seen the whole sermon to know if he addressed men as well. I agree it can be annoying when some male ministers are constantly preaching to women about romantic relationships. But even outside of the church, women of all races are always the primary audience for romantic relationship messages. I mean, how many men do you know read romance novels or watch The Bachelor? It’s supply and demand at work. Now, this doesn’t mean that men should not be addressed in various areas when it comes to romantic relationships because they should, but judging after a snippet of a sermon is extreme.

So that’s all I have… Do you plan to level up like Ciara and Pastor John Gray advise?

Any thoughts?

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Why the ‘Good Morning America’ Headline About Meghan Markle and ‘Hope’ for Black Women Wasn’t Offensive To Me…

It's Not the First Time That ABC News Offended Black Women Either...

Hello World,

ABC News’ (courtesy of “Good Morning America” )recent article originally entitled  “For Many Black Women, Meghan Markle’s Engagement Offers ‘Hope’” posted last week had black women all up in their feelings last week! In fact, the article has even caused the author Joi-Marie McKenzie to get hate mail, according to thegrio.com!

A few of the reactions to the controversial headline:

The backlash is so fierce that ABC News changed the headline to “After Meghan Markle’s Engagement, Some Are Celebrating” with an editor’s note:

The story headline has been updated. The original headline misrepresented the intention of the story, which was to report on the excitement among some black women about Meghan Markle’s joining the British royal family. 

But this isn’t the first time that black women have been all up in a tizzy and ready to rush ABC News! In fact, the last time I remember this type of backlash was December of 2009. Remember this article from ABC News: “Single, Black, Female — and Plenty of Company?” From the article, you already know what’s up and the worse part about the article was that black women in Atlanta, specifically, were the focus. At the time, I was a single, black female in Atlanta and so weary from looking for love that I really couldn’t collect my thoughts on what I thought was an attack until January.  Here is what I wrote on this blog:

I had composed what I thought was an eloquent, sociological diatribe of a post about the ABC “Nightline” piece that aired last month about black women, particularly those living in Atlanta, and their inability to find mates due to the shortage of black men…But since this is the Internet and in the interest of self-preservation, I thought better of it…

And now I don’t feel like sugar coating what I originally said…

So I simply want to know what y’all think…take a look at the video if you haven’t seen it already, and let me know…

‘Preciate your thoughts…i.am.out…

And here is the original video of the segment on which the article was based:

From this article came this dismal statistic:  “Forty-two percent of U.S. black women have never been married, double the number of white women who’ve never tied the knot.” In fact, this article and the statistics quoted in the article caused such a seismic shift that that the article was linked to in an article published just a few a months ago  “Black, Single, and Waiting: For 15 years, The Bachelor Franchise Has Made a Caricature of Blackness. Could This Season Finally Be different?” on slate.com.

While I was initially horrified that I and black women were written about like we truly are the “de mule uh de world” (a reference to how black women are viewed in one of my favorite books “Their Eyes Were Watching God” by Zora Neale Hurston), the report, article and subsequent debate Why Can’t a Successful Black Woman Find a Man?  held in Atlanta in April 2010 by ABC News in response to this article forced me to get real clear about what I wanted and needed in a husband and the fact that I wanted and needed a husband. And to be apologetic about it as well. It’s funny that two months after that report, I went on my very first date with my husband.

So when I saw all of this fervor online last week, it reminded me of how I once felt: victimized, a bit ashamed (if I am being completely honest) and unable to hide one of my deepest desires anymore. But those feelings led to one of the best decisions of my life. So the headline last week wasn’t the best, I’ll admit, but if you (and this is for single black women reading this post) find yourself ready to fight after reading the ABC News article, consider focusing inward instead of outward.

And if somewhere down deep the fact that Meghan Markle has found her Prince Charming (or he found her) has given you hope that your Prince Charming is somewhere out there, do what needs to be done (and only you can determine that) so that you are ready to meet him despite negative statistics. For me, it took kissing frogs, dating mentors, professional assistance, online dating, a slew of dating books, prayers and more, but my husband, perfect-for- me-with- all-of-his imperfections (I aine perfect either) Prince Charming, finally came along…

So no, to recap, ABC News (courtesy of Good Morning America) headline “For Many Black Women, Meghan Markle’s Engagement Offers ‘Hope’” wasn’t offensive…

Any thoughts?