Category Archives: dating

Posted on

Why Pastor John Gray & His Wife May Not Be Wrong to Host A Relationship Conference in February After Cheating Rumors & Divorce Discussions…

UPDATE: The relationship conference has been moved to September 12-14, 2019....

Hello World,

It was a exactly a year ago that Pastor John Gray got caught up in a controversy regarding relationships. R&B star Ciara faced backlash from single ladies simply because of a snippet of a Pastor John Gray sermon that she tweeted. Remember this tweet below?

Ciara tweeted a snippet of Gray’s sermon from the 2016 I Am Woman Conference in St. Louis, Missouri. I felt it was kind of unfair to blame Gray for something he said in 2016 that Ciara tweeted in 2018, and I also didn’t think Ciara’s message of #LevelUp was wrong considering all that she went through to get where she is today. And if you want to read that entire post, click on “Why Ciara & Pastor John Gray Are Right To Advise Single Ladies to Level Up…”

But now, a year after that January 2018 tweet, Pastor John Gray is caught up in another controversy regarding relationships. Relentless Church recently posted on Facebook that Gray along with his wife First Lady Aventer Gray will be hosting a relationship conference entitled “Align 19” which will be held at their church Relentless Church in Greenville, SC on Feb. 7-9. UPDATE: The date has been changed to Sept. 12-14.

This announcement has folk talking again because The Christian Post and other news outlets reported that Gray and his wife admitted that they had considered divorce for two years, which he said on a YouTube video from the summer of 2018. From The Christian Post:

“What they didn’t see is that for the last two years we weren’t sure if we would even make it. This is what the people saw,” he said while fake smiling, “but they didn’t see the tears at night. They didn’t see the times when one of us was sleeping on the couch because the argument. We had to keep smiling because even though we were struggling and even though I was failing as a husband, I was already in front of the people and the people can’t receive my brokenness because where do leaders go when they bleed? Because sheep don’t do well with blood so I had to bleed alone,” Gray said.

In that same video, his wife spoke about a “strange woman”  whom affected their marriage. From The Christian Post:

“I prayed for them and him and then the devil loses,” she said to applause. “’Cause what’s not gonna happen is you tell me that I’m gonna lose my purpose because somebody whispered to a 16-year-old John? The devil is a liar. I’m staying with my husband and you can go back to the pits of Hell where you came from.”

She added, “So you want me to leave my husband because you spoke to the 16-year-old that couldn’t get a date? And he listened. So I’m supposed to leave my husband because you spoke to a place of brokenness that had not yet been submitted back to the Father? But because I know the tricks of the enemy and I’m learning them every day, I can stand here in boldness for everybody that tried to sneak in, thank you, because I got closer to God because of it. I got in that word … come on devil, you don’t want it with me.”

As a result of these revelations regarding their near divorce and this “strange woman,” some think Grays do not need to be hosting a relationship conference. And given the fact that Pastor Gray could have been contemplating divorce and allegedly cavorting with a “strange woman” while giving relationship advice to women at the 2016 I Am Woman Conference, he could very well be a hypocrite. I must say those were my initial conclusions as well.

But then, I started thinking about the fact that the Grays will be the hosts of the conferences but are not billed as speakers (as least according to the flyer anyway). I don’t know about you but when I need help in a particular area, I gather as many experts in that area that I can find and try to learn from them. That expertise may be found within the pages of a book. I may attend a conference or two. I may get counseling. I try to align myself with people who have what I want so that I can get what they have.

As far as the speakers at the Align relationship conference are concerned, Kirk and Tammy Franklin have been married for 23 years and although they have faced some challenges (I remember when Kirk Franklin admitted to having a porn addiction), they are still together. That is an inspirational story for couples who have faced similar challenges. Although DeVon Franklin is happily married now, but prior to getting married to Meagan Good, he was celibate for over 10 years as a single man. He obviously has a word for single people. I’m not as familiar with the rest of the slate of speakers, but based on their bios, they have testimonies that could encourage conference attendees. And as far as the Grays are concerned, maybe their decision to name the conference “Align” which means “to to be in or come into precise adjustment or correct relative position” is indicative of their intention to adjust or correct  their  marriage after what they revealed about their personal lives last year.

But what about the fact that he was giving relationship advice in 2016 while likely not having a good relationship with his own wife at the time, some of y’all are probably saying? LOL. I say I hope he uses better judgment in 2019 regarding his speaking engagements and overall speech because I can see why he was more than ready for 2018 to be over and hit the reset button for 2019.

Y’all it seemed like Pastor Gray was being talked about and not in a good way for much of 2018. See for yourself below.

Am I missing any controversies?

Pastor Gray said in his New Year’s Eve sermon “The Reset” that he was dressed in all black in his “funeral outfit” because “2018 tried to kill me so I thought I would dress for the occasion.”  He said that, “Some of the stuff that tried to kill me, I helped…Some stuff wasn’t the devil. Some stuff was you. It would be great if we shouted for that too because what we’re saying is, ‘I take personal responsibility.'” He then goes on to talk about how he even thought about suicide behind all of what transpired in 2018. I agree with Pastor John Gray that much of what happened to him at least regarding his public persona and statements could be traced back to his decisions. For example, I’m pretty sure he is not the only megapastor who gifted his wife with a lavish gift in 2018 especially on the heels of Christmas but many of them did not post what they gifted.

I remember Pastor Gray before he was a pastor. He was a comedian I believe. I saw him at a church event here in Atlanta, and I thought he was funny at the time. But I didn’t think much else about him because he was another Christian comedian doing this thing. But now his circumstances have changed. He is a pastor with worldwide platform. Somebody say, “More platform, More problems…” As it says in the Word, “Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. (James 3:1)  His inclination is still to be funny although his words, which may come from an innocent place, are now judged more seriously.

I hope he remembers this verse as we proceed in 2019.

What say you?

Any thoughts?

Posted on

Greenleaf Recap Season 3 Episode 10: The Promised Land…

Hello World,

I know many saints don’t celebrate Halloween but clearly OWN Greenleaf writers had some tricks up their sleeve on this Halloween night that I will reveal in this Greenleaf Recap Season 3 Episode 10: The Promised Land so keep readin’ y’all…

Promises Promises…

This episode starts with a solemn scene as Lady Mae is at her laptop at Calvary alone and late into the night. She crafts an e-mail to her children and grandchildren confirming what we have feared since Season 3 began: Bishop and Lady Mae are legally divorced. I must say I didn’t think this would actually happen and I still wonder if the all of the “t”s have been crossed and the “i”s have been dotted as far as the documentation is concerned. Despite the dismantling of the family she and Bishop have built for more than 40 years, Lady Mae tells them they are still entering the Promised Land that they must take possession of with hope. She says she is aware of their “past sins but they are ready to grow. We are no longer married but we are still your parents.” She refers to them as her angels before she ends the correspondence.

In the next scene, Jacob and Kerissa are playing detective over at Triumph as Tasha Skanks has left without a trace and reason why although we (the audience) know what’s up. Kerissa speculates that maybe Basie is back, but Jacob feels that if Basie had returned, he would have have heard something. “Memphis ain’t that big and Basie ain’t that small.” (That’s a nice line.) At any rate, now that Tasha is gone and Kerissa has turned Zora over to God, Kerissa is finally available to take on all of the duties of a First Lady. She hires a new accountant. He has an African accent I think. He promptly notices some irregularities in the accounting…

At Calvary the next day, Grace and Rochelle meet with the murderess (per Lady Mae’s description) Coralie Hunter. Coralie is seriously considering the deal the district attorney offered her although she will be in jail for 20 years. 20 years in jail is better than life in jail after all. Grace pleads with Coralie to allow the lawyer they’ve hired to advocate on her behalf as this case is expected to set a precedent. Coralie aine tryin’ to hear that legal jargon, but Rochelle gets to her with a personal plea. She tells Coralie that her mother went to jail, forcing her and her little sister to be in the system and moved around like “hot potatoes that nobody wanted. I know that you don’t believe in Jesus but you’re going to have to have faith.” That story does the trick and Coralie meets with the new attorney.

Following that meeting, Bishop happens to walk by Rochelle, who is in a conference room at Calvary by herself. She takes the opportunity to ask him about the rumors she has heard. “Are you legally divorced?” she asks. Bishop confirms the rumors are true. “Lady Mae and I are officially no longer together.” Of course that news brings a smile to Rochelle’s face. She invites Bishop to do some “daytime drinking to celebrate or console as the case may be.” Bishop says he would like that. Maybe I’m a sheltered pastor’s daughter but I don’t know any pastor who is quick to sip like that! What y’all think?

The time for “A Day With Lady Mae” is almost here as Maxine Patterson is back! Lady Mae tells Maxine that Bishop looks “lost in his own church. Maxine replies with, “It’s won’t be his for long.”

Y’all know that’s a promise that Lady Mae intends to keep…

It’s A Long Way To The Promised Land…

Zora is back. I must admit I appreciated a break from that hellion in last’s week episode but like a bad weed, she’s back. Zora and Isaiah, the boy she was willing to turn her back on her family for, are at a radio station 104. 8 FM where he is answering interview questions about his latest project. He says the project addresses the “tribulations on tribulations” he’s endured and that it is an “amalgamation of pain.” Yeah, whatever man…moving on…I don’t know about the rest of the family but Zora will not be entering into her own promised land for some time.

Charity is back in her office at Calvary and looking mighty composed actually. Maxine’s music director, a hottie I’ve seen before on some show but cannot remember exactly where I’ve seen him, stops by to discuss how they will move forward with plans for the music included in “A Day With Lady Mae.” Charity starts to discuss a few ideas, but before she goes too long, the music director Michael asks if they can pause to pray. He was already fine, but now, he’s looking irresistible and by the look in her eyes, Charity agrees with me!

The two continue to converse and Michael asks Charity to dinner. She declines because she has to care for her son on the night in question. Michael mistakenly thinks that since she has a son that she is married and apologizes for asking her out. Charity says that she is actually divorced. She also chooses to reveal that her ex-husband is gay only because Michael may see Kevin at some point while he is in town. Michael apologizes for her ex-husband’s deception and says that “sort of deception is susceptible to prayer.”

Maxine Patterson also has some ideas about how to plan “A Day With Lady Mae” but Lady Mae disagrees with Maxine’s directions. Maxine wants Grace to be a part of the program for example, but Lady Mae suggests Jacinta Butler instead. Maxine asks Lady Mae if the theme for the event is “She Changes Everything” or is it “She Puts Everyone to Sleep?” LOL.  Maxine notices that Lady Mae has some sort of block when it comes her own daughter and asks her what is the deal with that. Karine interrupts the planning session to tell Lady Mae that Lionel Jeffries is on the phone, but she aine tryin’ to hear him either.

Maxine, without Lady Mae at her hip, eventually sees Grace alone and uses the opportunity to ask her about her legal defense fund. She decides to contribute. But she also uses the time to ask Grace about her troubled relationship with her mother. “What’s that all about?” Grace responds with “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” That’s right Grace. Keep family business in the family unless you’re in therapy 🙂

Speaking of troubled family relationships, Rochelle tracks down her sister-in-law Tasha at her home. “Why aren’t you at Triumph?” Rochelle asks her. “I quit,” Tasha spits out.  She adds, “The funds have already been transferred from Triumph.” In other words, Tasha wants Rochelle to just leave her alone, but Tasha has more to say first. “You’re messing with an innocent man,” she says in reference to Jacob. “He’s a good man, Rochelle.” Now Rochelle is perturbed. “Are you in love with him?” She doesn’t outright answer the question but she asks Rochelle about the whereabouts of that “no account nothing brother of yours.” She then escalates the conversation even more. “If you come back here, I will call the cops. And I might forget what story I’m supposed to tell them.” Rochelle calls Basie afterward. “We’ve got a problem,” she says. Basie and Rochelle thought they were finally on the fast track to their promised land, but there continue to be road blocks.

The Promise…

Y’all know that Grace is gangsta right? While Rochelle was talking about her childhood in foster care with Coralie, Grace was taking mental notes. Later on, she tells Darius to use his network of contacts to find out more information about a Rochelle who grew up in foster care with her sister and Darius obliges. He tells that there were three girls named Rochelle but only one could be their Rochelle and he even has a foster mother to interview! Rochelle, you ’bout to be discovered chile. That’s a promise.

But while we wait for that to unfold, Rochelle has more business with Bishop. Now that Bishop is single, she is passing time with him out in the open on Percy’s porch no less. (Percy does not make an appearance on this episode though.) Bishop complains that he is “running a church from the guest room of a house next door to a mortuary.” Rochelle promises to help him find a new place and the two drink champagne to that. They don’t kiss as far as I can tell but they do nuzzle.

Another couple that I don’t like are figuring out their way around each other as well. Now that Zora is free is a bird, she mistakenly feels that freedom will be a part of her relationship with Isaiah. But that is not the case. She tells compliments him on the presales of his album and casually mentions that she forgot she applied to Spelman College. Apparently, the couple now reside in Atlanta where the school is located. She is thinking of setting up an interview, but instead of encouraging Zora to continue her education, Isaiah criticizes her. He says “Spelman doesn’t take high school drop outs.” Ouch. She should have stayed in school. But Zora calls him out on not claiming her during the radio interview to a female fan. He says, “I’ll claim you when you start acting like someone who deserves me.” He also knocks some food out of her hand. It looks like she decides to contact Spelman anyway, secretly of course so that her behind won’t be beat. I just don’t get it. Has he made some promises to her that we are not aware of because I just don’t get the attraction…

But maybe it’s just a case of the apple not falling far from the tree. Kerissa calls Tasha about her leaving Triumph in such a hurry. Tasha, who sounds high or drunk or both, says, “Why are you you calling me all mad? It was just a kiss. Don’t hate me Kerissa.” Now Kerissa knows that Jacob is up to his old tricks again and has not kept his promise to be faithful. At Triumph, Kerissa calls Jacob “trifling” and says that he is supposed to be a “strong tower” for the family and is nothing but a “twig.” In fact, he is worse than a twig. He is a “puddle of need, desires and bad decisions.” Wow, but he deserved every bit of that rebuke and probably more. But on the other hand, Kerissa continued to stay with Jacob through all of his past philandering and maybe that was the pattern that Zora observed growing up: My man may abuse me in a myriad of ways, but I shall stay and be abused any way. And in the midst of all of us, the new accountant interrupts them to tell them that $200,000 is missing from the church’s account!

Back at the Greenleaf estate, Charity answer’s Michael phone call. Since she was busy with her son on the night he originally wanted to go out to dinner, he asks her out for another night. She agrees at first, but tells him that something he said about her ex-husband got under her skin. He says that Kevin deceived her about that “struggle with his sin” but Charity doesn’t approve of how he describes Kevin. Michael says, “Charity, you deserve better,” and Charity responds with, “Maybe that’s not you.” So this is some growth for Charity. Usually, she just accepts any positive attention she gets without being selective about the source.

Across town, Darius and Grace go to see the woman who may have been one of Rochelle’s foster mothers. At first, she doesn’t remember Rochelle particularly with the last name Cross, but she does remember a Rochelle James who had a little sister! Gigi wastes no time in telling her father what she discovers. She goes over to Percy’s house to tell him in person. He has some news to share as well, but he allows her to go first. “Rochelle Cross is Daryl James’ daughter. She is the half-sister to Basie Skanks.”

Bishop looks crushed and we never find out what was his news. Maybe we will find out in a future episode.

Speaking of hidden identities and this is THE SHOCKER of the night, Lady Mae pays a visit to Lionel Jeffries in the nursing home. “What do you want Lionel?” she says. “I want to talk about my daughter!” Y’all, we’ve been wondering why in the world does Lady Mae hates her daughter so much. Even Maxine Patterson is perplexed. But now we know!!! I don’t know if a paternity test was ever conducted to confirm it but that is one reason among others in my opinion why Lady Mae is less than fond of Grace. And Grace is the oldest child too! You mean her first child wasn’t even Bishop’s? That’s crazy! (Oh, I don’t recall Lionel ever saying Grace’s name  so it’s possible that he may be referring to another one of Lady Mae’s daughters although that is not likely to me. What y’all think?!)

Speaking of crazy, Rochelle comes back to Tasha’s house and Tasha gets a lamp. I guess she is going to attack her sister-in-law with it, but before she does that, she sees Basie at the door!!!

Yes, my favorite short man character since George Jefferson is back! Brother and sister are both dressed in black. Basie says, “I’ve heard you’ve been a bad girl!” LOL. The funny thing is that Tasha looks like she loves some Basie too even while she was pining way for Jacob for the whole episode. But who doesn’t love a bad boy with some attitude unless it’s one who hits you like Isaiah. That’s another matter altogether. Anywho, that’s it and that’s all…

Thank you sooo much for reading my Greenleaf Recap Season 3 Episode 10: The Promised Land and my other recaps so far. If you would like to keep up with OWN’s “Greenleaf,” and my recaps, please click on this link to subscribe to my blog 🙂!

Any thoughts?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted on

Greenleaf Season Premiere Recap, Season 3 Episode 2: The Space Between…

Hello World,

Here we are again…Greenleaf Season Premiere Recap, Season 3 Episode 2: The Space Between…

Ahhh….What can be said about “The Space Between,” the title of tonight’s episode? I guess that all depends on your view of space. If you see space as a positive thing, space can provide room for people to grow. But if you see space negatively, space enables people to grow apart. Based on what I saw tonight, space is both a positive and a negative for the Greenleafs. When the Greenleafs make it through this season, they will have grown and grown apart. But before I get too philosophical, let’s get into the particulars of tonight’s episode!

Trading Spaces…

Although Bishop has traded his bed at the Biltmore Hotel for a bed at the Greenleaf estate, he is still in the guestroom bed! Although sleeping in the guestroom bed feels like “sleeping on coconuts,” Lady Mae doesn’t care and offers him the couch if that doesn’t work. She explains to him they may be trying to fool Ms. Clara but they can’t fool themselves nor their children.

The next morning, Lady Mae and Bishop are dressed in matching royal blue although they did not sleep in the same bed. Apparently, they plan to resume their duties as heads of the church and will conduct some sort of marriage seminar! When Grace questions their authority to be an authority on this topic, he tells her that though they may be sinful what they will say about marriage is still true. But Lady Mae doesn’t leave it at that. She uses the opportunity to pick a fight with her. (Maybe Grace isn’t her daughter because she stays fighting with her for some reason.) Lady Mae chides Grace for scampering across Memphis like a rabbit. In other words, she is aware that Grace is having relations with Darius while being on staff at the church.

Speaking of Grace, while her inclination is to see Rochelle Cross as foe, she attempts to make her a friend by calling her to ask her for her help in starting a legal fund for victims of domestic violence. But Sofia knows something is off and asks her mother why uses that the same “fake cheerful voice” that she uses with Sofia’s father. But hey, keeping your friends close and your enemies closer is a top tool of the trade!

Space Cowboy…

I’m not old enough to have watched black and white westerns but I would guess that Lady Mae and Rochelle Cross would have made excellent dueling cowboys on a western although they are women. They are cut from the same impenetrable cloth and are willing to bust a cap if the occasion calls for it. When Rochelle demonstrates that she knows some of the personal Greenleaf business by asking  Lady Mae how Zora is doing following her cotillion caper and subsequent return, Lady Mae looks ready to shoot her. Rochelle knows right then and there she is dealing with a real one although their ultimate showdown is yet to come.

Tasha is not as devious as Rochelle, but she is trying to take back Triumph’s territory by taking down Jacob. Using her feminine wiles, she wants to close the space between her and Jacob and cozies up to him in their conversation about hard-to-pronounce names on new member cards. Men can be so clueless sometimes. Conveniently for Tasha, Kerissa’s school administrative duties are keeping her away from Triumph as she has to meet with irate parents. When she is able to break away and join Tasha and Jacob during the new member meeting at the church, one of the new members mistakes Tasha for the First Lady! “That was awkward,” Kerissa says. As smart as she is and as much as she admires Lady Mae, I don’t know why she doesn’t realize that Tasha is planning her work and working her plan! But I guess there are book smarts and street smarts…Like my mama says, there can only be one woman (First Lady) in a house and that includes of house of God!

Jacob realizes that Kerissa, with her other responsibilities, is feeling distant from the business of the church, particularly after what happened at the new member meeting. Since Tasha’s plot to ingratiate herself with him is working, he allows Tasha to convince him to buy jewelry for his wife. They go shopping together at Tasha’s favorite jewelry store and she picks out this gaudy faux gold and pearl concoction that is not Kerissa’s style at all. How much you want to bet that when Kerissa rocks that necklace the following Sunday at church, Tasha will have on the same necklace?

Space Age Pimpin’…

Now that Bishop and Lady Mae are under one roof again (at least for now), the dynamic duo team up to pimp Ms. Clara out of her Powerball money. They invite her over to the estate for dinner. She senses that something is off, but Lady Mae just tells her she has changed the art in her home. If only the aesthetics of the Greenleaf home was the problem! Apparently, Clara is a widow and reminisces about her marriage as she asks the Greenleafs what they have planned for their soon-to-be 45th wedding anniversary. The question seems to take the couple by surprise and it becomes clear that they have just about forgotten that their anniversary is coming up!

Nevertheless, the two are successful in coercing Clara to come off of her cash! “Nice work First Lady,” Bishop says. But Lady Mae aine tryin’ to hear all of that. She confronts him about telling Rochelle their family business regarding Zora. She asks him if he told her while they were at the Biltmore Hotel together! Bishop says, “Are you willing this non-existent affair into being a real one?” It’s true. I think a person’s insecurities can cause what they fear the most to happen. But he follows up with this great line – “I’ve never seen a woman so fragile that she cannot consider her own sinfulness.” Wow. That packed a wallop. And at the same time, Bishop betta be careful who he is calling a sinner. When you start calling out people for their sins, don’t be mad when they turn the tables on you. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

Speaking of the family’s wild child, Zora thinks she’s as sly as a pimp when she tries to get her cousin to buy a prepaid phone (presumably to talk to her boo Christian Breezy) with the money that she was swindled from Triumph’s offering. But Sofia is not stupid and for the umpteenth time attempts to talk some sense into her cousin. “He hits you and he treats you like crap.”

Since Zora has loving parents, I really don’t get why Zora is attracted to this boy. Anywho, Sofia does convince Jacob, at the very least, to return Zora’s TV to her, but certain channels have been restricted! LOL.

Lost in Space…

Kevin is trying to bridge the space between him and his son but Charity is standing in his way. Just when she is about to hand over their son to him in his new place, Aaron walks in with groceries! He claims he doesn’t live there, but he used a key to get in. As a result, Charity cancels her appearance on the tour so that she can stay with her son. Not only is she losing out on performing on the tour, her budding relationship with Jabari seems to be a lost cause as well. He hangs up on her when she tells him that she won’t be returning! That was sooo rude, particularly because she is only trying to be a good mother. Jabari may need to be kicked to the curb for that!

Grace’s relationship with the lost soul that is Darius is not gonna last. I hope y’all know that. First of all, they are fornicating. And secondly, he has nothing but contempt for the Greenleaf clan. He actually tells her to not be hypocrite when she wants to return home after doing the do.

But she does return home. Maybe it’s her own guilt that drives her to take this drastic action or maybe she just really dislikes her mama, but she confronts Lady Mae about having an affair with Lionel! (Bishop reveals Lady Mae’s affair after Grace asks his father why he won’t allay Lady Mae’s fears about his friendship with Rochelle Cross.) You already know this causes Lady Mae to lose her mind although she does not deny it. Grace then tells her mother that she is done feeling bad, wrong and dirty for what she is doing…So I understand her not feeling guilty anymore when it comes to her mama but what about when it comes to her relationship with God?!

But Grace is not content to stop there. Maybe she is a bull in china shop! She confronts Rochelle about her relationship with her father the next time they see each other. “Is there anything. Is something going on between you and my father?” Rochelle pretends that she is upset and walks off in a huff but later a sly smile is seen on her face. She returns to Grace and says, “We can’t let anything stop us from reaching our goal. This is the work of the Lord. You’re stuck with me now.” I bet…

Continuing in the theme of lost relationships, Lady Mae and Bishop reach an impasse. Lady Mae is so thoroughly incensed about Bishop telling Grace about her affair with Lionel, she, wearing all black attire, confronts him in his office. She tells him as soon as the check from Ms. Clara has cleared and the IRS has been paid, she is divorcing Bishop!!!

Check out some of the highlights of tonight’s episode below…

Thank you sooo much for reading my Greenleaf Season Premiere Recap, Season 3 Episode 2: The Space Between and my other recaps so far. If you would like to keep up with OWN’s “Greenleaf,” and my recaps, please click on this link to subscribe to my blog 🙂!

Any thoughts?