Posted on Sunday, May 8, 2016

Becoming a Mother Over 40 & Beyond…Janet Jackson isn’t the Only One…A Mothers Day Testimony…

Hello World,

Last month when Janet Jackson announced she was postponing her tour to focus on creating a family with her husband Wissam Al Mana, my friends and I via text (our easiest way to communicate in our busy lives) speculated on whether Ms. Jackson If You’re Nasty was indeed with child at 49 years old (now our speculation has been confirmed) and whether being 40 or older is too old to become a mother.

Below are a few of our responses.

“It is weird.”

“It’s a miracle. If that is her dream. My friend just had a baby at 48. Not planned.”

“My grandmother had my mom when she was around 40. My aunt around 44. I had my son at 41. Let her story be a leap for womankind. She has led a fabulous life and is now embarking on a new journey.”

So Janet Jackson isn’t the only one who has defied the odds. That is the testimony of C. Celeste Marshall, a college friend who struggled with infertility for 10 years before finally giving birth to her son Terry Simeon Marshall in August 2013! Celeste recently released her book “Memoirs of a Barren Women.” Below is my interview with her about her journey to motherhood and her new book!

When did you get married, and did you want to be a mother when you first got married? Tell me about your desire to be a mother.

My husband, Todd, and I got married in 2001. We were immediately ready to start our family. During this particular time, we had a few nieces that I was very close to and we played the parent role for them at times. My desire to become a mother intensified as I saw them grow and several months had passed and nothing had happened for us.

How and when did you find out you were “barren” or couldn’t conceive children? How did you husband respond?

After almost a year into our marriage, with no success, my doctor at the time felt that it was time to see a specialist. A few days following this appointment, I remember getting the call at work. The news was devastating, and work was not the place to receive it. I was told that I would not be able to have children. The doctor suggested that I have several female organs removed and that my best chance would be to try in vitro. My husband responded in a very supportive way and tried to act like it would be fine if we weren’t parents, but I knew that his desire to be a father was just as strong as my desire to be a mother.

Why did you keep believing you would be a mother one day although you were told you couldn’t have children? Did you ever have any miscarriages? What were you doing for those 10 years?! Did you consider adoption?

In 2006, while recovering from my first surgery (fibroids and endometriosis), God led me to a scripture in II Kings. It was II Kings 4:16. It read, “this time next year you will be holding a son.” I anticipated the day that I would be able to say that I was pregnant because I had never had a positive test before. I never had any miscarriages because time after time I was always told that I would not be able to even conceive a child. I had received a prior promise from God in 2004. So during this time of waiting on God to fulfill His promise, I fasted and prayed about my desire and His promise. After several years passing and my “this time next year” not happening, I mentioned adopting to my husband but he was not open to it. I knew that it was my spirit settling and trying to rush God’s hand.

When and why did you decide to fast and pray and what was the result? Tell more about it.

I thank God that at the time of receiving this news, I was already saved and was a member of a church, Free Chapel, where fasting is literally one of the church’s foundations. My pastor teaches it often and each year our church does an annual fast which has become a global practice for many denominations at the beginning of the year. I had seen the results of fasting and praying in my own life and also in the lives of others in the church. It is a powerful tool often overlooked in the Christian world. I challenge anyone to try it for themselves. When you abstain from food and replace it with the Word of God, there is an intimacy that comes only from fasting. There are several types of fasting.

What was your “life-changing decision” after your fast?

My life-changing decision following a specific three-day fast in 2012 was to cancel a surgery, which would have been my 3rd during this 10-year period. The doctor wanted me to have a full hysterectomy, but by the time the pre-op had rolled around, we had agreed on a partial hysterectomy. It never felt right in my spirit because I knew my body had to be whole in order for God to fulfill His promise. However, my doctor deemed it necessary, but following that three-day fast, and hearing from God on 12-12-12, I canceled the surgery completely.

How and when did you discover you were pregnant? Were you scared during your pregnancy after all that happened to you? Why or why not?

I was back at work from Christmas break, and I knew I was “late” but really thought that it was stress related since I had spent most of the Christmas break caring for my niece who had broken her ankle. I took an outdated pregnancy test at work of all places. I had them everywhere because I always anticipated each month…..hoping…..praying…..waiting……When it came back positive I was elated and scared at the same time….when you read the book you will know why 🙂

What was it like to finally give birth to your son? When was he born? How old were you when he was born?

My pregnancy was good, but the delivery was a battle. And when I say battle, it was a spiritual battle! He was born in August 2013. I was 40 when I found out I was pregnant, and I delivered him when I was 41.

Do you have any final words of advice for would-be mothers who are having difficulty having children or who are ready to give up? What about fathers who are married to women with these challenges and desperately want to be father too. Any advice for them?

I tell everyone not to put God on a timetable. We have in our minds by what age we should do this, this and this. If we are truly in line with Him, and we seek Him daily, then we have to trust Him with the desires of our hearts. When so much time had passed for me, I started changing my prayer…for God to remove the desire and He never did. I knew what He had promised me, specifically a son, but satan is real and while God had given a promise, satan took advantage of any weakness and tried to steal my promise from God. However, each year, as I would fast and pray, God would always confirm His promise to me, but of course I grew weary in waiting, but I stood on His promise and His Word: specifically II Kings 4:16. And to the husbands of barren wives, never make your wife feel “less than, inadequate, or insufficient.” Because these are the word satan would whisper to her. satan often tried to remind me that the one thing a woman was created to do, I could not do…I felt broken at times, but I know that God does not make mistakes.

Why did you decide to write “Memoirs of a Barren Woman?”

My book was truly written out of obedience. I never desired nor imagined that I would write a book. After I had my son, I started getting invitations to give my testimony and what I realized is that God used my household for the basis of this testimony but He did not intend for it to stay there. I believe that my testimony if for anyone believing God for anything. We all have a “barren” area in our life, male or female.

Was it difficult to write and publish “Memoirs of a Barren Woman?” And what has been the response?

The book was not difficult to publish so to speak because God led me to the right resource the first time I inquired. However, I had no idea about all of the editing. There was so much back and forth for several months, actually over a year. I started questioning what I had started because there was just so much delay. But even in delay, I tell you God is working…putting things together. The number of people who have reached out to me since reading my memoir to tell me the impact that it has had on their life spiritually has been overwhelming. Young, old, male, female, single women, even women with children have commented on how my book has impacted their life in some form. I look forward to sharing it on any platform God gives me.

Below is a video of Celeste giving her testimony at her church Free Chapel

To find out more about C. Celeste Marshall or contact her, go her website memoirsofabarrenwoman.com or her Facebook page. Click on this link to buy her book.

Happy Mothers Day to all mothers, but particularly to mothers who are 40 years old and over!

Any thoughts?

Posted on Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Humanitarian Disaster Institute to Host 4th Annual Disaster Ministry Conference…

Hello World,

Let’s face it. Church buildings are supposed to be safe havens, but increasingly church buildings can be dangerous spaces. Next month on June 17, it will be the one-year anniversary of the tragic church shooting at Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in Charleston, South Carolina. To that end, the Humanitarian Disaster Institute (HDI) will host the 4^th annual Disaster Ministry Conference at the Meyer Science Center on the campus of Wheaton College on June 7-10, 2016.

“The purpose of our conference is to equip church and lay leaders to lead their congregations in preparing for disasters and in serving those affected, as well as to foster collaboration between churches and other organizations,” said Dr. Jamie Aten, HDI’s founder and co-director, Dr. Arthur P. Rech and Mrs. Jean May Rech Associate Professor of Psychology, at Wheaton College.

The event will feature global leaders in the fields of disaster ministry, emergency management, humanitarian aid, public health and mental health. “Caring for the Vulnerable” is this year’s theme. In alignment with the theme, topics to be addressed will include discussions on refugee care, meeting the unique needs of people with disabilities and of children during and following disasters and more.

“Disasters are unrelenting in this fallen world—whether it’s tsunamis, hurricanes or active shooters, there always seems to be something that calls for a response from the people of God. HDI has become a global leader in helping the church respond to humanitarian disasters of all kinds,” said Dr. Philip Ryken, president of Wheaton College.

Marcus Coleman, who currently serves as a Special Assistant for the Center for Faith-based and Neighborhood Partnerships at the U.S Department of Homeland Security (DHS Center)—one of thirteen centers under the White House Office of Faith-based & Neighborhood Partnerships, is one of the featured speakers. He is a skilled coalition builder and strategic engagement professional with more than seven years of experience leading change in order to create more resilient communities. This includes expertise in cultivating, sustaining and leveraging results driven partnerships at the national and local level between government and non-governmental groups, including the private sector; and non-profit, philanthropic, faith-based, and civic society organizations.

Also, another one of the featured speakers is Rev. Michael Carrion, who serves as the pastor of Promised Land Covenant Church in the Bronx and played a key role in organizing outreach to Superstorm Sandy survivors.

“With expertise from speakers on topics critical to providing care for the vulnerable, participants will gain new knowledge, skills and networks for effectively leading their congregations in developing disaster ministries and becoming more resilient,” said Dr. Aten.

For a full list of speakers and the conference schedule visit www.disasterministryconference.com. Continuing education credits are available for mental health professionals.

HDI is the first social science research center in the country devoted to the study of faith and disasters. More information about the Humanitarian Disaster Institute is available at wheaton.edu/HDI.

Any thoughts?

Posted on Sunday, March 6, 2016

The Top 10 Blog Posts and or Articles for Black Christian Women in February 2016

Hello World,

Well, Black History Month 2016 is a wrap, but I’m still doing my monthly post in which I list interesting blog posts and or articles for black Christian women from last month that intrigued me as a black Christian woman ( but you don’t have be a black Christian woman to to check them out:) ! ) As usual, let me know if you like my list! Enjoy and share!

1. “Dancing 106-year-old Describes the Day She Charmed the Obamas: ‘I Can Die Smiling Now’” by Colby Itkowitz

Excerpt: Deeply faithful, McLaurin attends a weekly Bible study, and she said it’s helped her stay upbeat and healthy. That, she said, and a diet of fried beans and peas. Other than a back surgery about 50 years ago, she hasn’t had any major health issues. See more at: washingtonpost.com.

2. “DeVon Franklin to Suggestion in Church That Wife Meagan Good Should Cover Up: ‘She’s Going to Wear What She Wants to Wear in the Name of Jesus’” by Yesha Callahan

Excerpt: “This is not offensive, but I was at the grocery store and I looked at a newsstand and I saw you, and you had your breast showing,” one woman in the audience said. “So, so, I wasn’t gonna come here, I wasn’t, but the Lord brought me here to see you. You’re beautiful. You are a beautiful young woman, and your testimony is awesome. It’s awesome. Amen. Amen! And the Lord let me come and push past the judgment … because you have to make sure what you say and what you do match up, you understand? So we gonna cover up, right?” See more at: theroot.com.

3. “Too Sexy for Church Appeal: When Does Cleavage Become Sinful?” by Charlene Aaron

Excerpt: Ayesha Curry, wife of NBA player Stephen Curry, received a ton of backlash from people who said she was shaming women who dress less modestly. Actress Meagan Good, who is also a Christian, has often been criticized for wearing clothing viewed as too sexy. See more at: cbn.com.

4. “They Lost Trayvon, Eric, Sandra, Jordan, Dontre. Now These Mothers are With Hillary” by Juana Summers

Excerpt: As rain pelted the rooftop of Mount Zion Missionary Baptist church on Monday afternoon, five mothers — united both in their grief and their purpose — came to share their stories. The women, from five different cities, had each lost a child to a high-profile case of violence. And each had thrown her support behind Hillary Clinton in the race for the Democratic presidential nomination. See more at: mashable.com.

5. “The Legacy of Women in the Black Church” by Pastor Tiffany Thomas

Excerpt: Black women have a long and intricate history with the church. Women, making up 70 to 90 percent of black congregations, have always found the institution of the church a place of refuge, of solace and hope. As far back as African American history begins, during a time when their bodies were bound by the violence of slavery, black women gathered to worship communally a God who gave freedom and liberation in the salvific power of Christ. See more at: christianitytoday.com.

6. “Black Women and the Imago Dei” by Austin Channing Brown

Excerpt: In the late ’80s and early ’90s when I grew up attending a predominantly white private school, words like diversity and multiculturalism had not yet been popularized. So schools were still developing curriculum and experiences largely devoid of cultural depth. In my experience, all of my teachers were white, as were the principal, librarian, and other staff members. We regularly used illustrated Bibles, storybooks, and movies in which all the characters were also white. When teachers posted pictures of Jesus in the room, Jesus was always depicted as white. See more at: todayschristianwoman.com.

7. “Meet the Incredible Woman Chosen to Lead Mother Emanuel Church After Last Year’s Shooting” by Collier Meyerson

Excerpt: Clark is unabashed about being a woman at the pulpit. During a part of service where visitors to the church introduce themselves, one particular gentleman calls out, “I’m going to ask, like I do every year.” She begins to fan herself. “Will you be my valentine?” The church erupts into laughter and cheers. “The answer is yes,” she says to her husband. More laughter and clapping. See more at: fusion.net.

8. “Charleston Shooting Survivor Jennifer Pinckney: ‘I Want to Carry on (Clementa’s) Work’” by Jesse James DeConto

Excerpt: The first lady of Charleston’s Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church offered two enduring images: her late husband’s smiling face lying in a casket, and the bullet holes that riddled the church walls when she went to clean out his office a week later. See more at: religionnews.com.

9. “Professor Who Donned Hijab in Solidarity Announces Exit from Christian College” by Women in the World Staff

Excerpt: A college professor at a Christian college in Illinois has agreed to leave her position at the university after she posted a photo of herself wearing a hijab in solidarity with Muslims on social media. Larycia Hawkins drew ire from the administration at Wheaton College over the photo and her remarks on Facebook, where she wrote that Christians and Muslims “worship the same God.” See more at: nytlive.nytimes.com.

10. “First Female African-American General in the Army National Guard Visits Windsor Church” by Jenna DeAngelis

Excerpt: “I’ve had many people, both black and white, tell me that, ‘C’mon you can’t do that. You’re never going any further than this.’ and to me that was always a challenge,” Cleckley said. Every challenge became an opportunity and every opportunity became another page in her book, A Promise Fulfilled. See more at: fox61.com.

Any thoughts?