Category Archives: Book Notes

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Relationships, Inspiration & Holy Ghost Tent Revivals: NEW BOOK ALERT!

Hello World!

Jay Bakker (right) with Matt Debenedictis, Atlanta, Georgia...This is an illustration from Tess' book as she is also a gifted illustrator...

Well, I don’t know about you, but I am sick and tired of Thanksgiving food. It’s time to back away from that fattening dressing and throw them stanky collards out although I was so thankful to gather with family and friends…But now, it’s officially time to celebrate the Christmas season…YAY!

It’s time  to “make that list and check it twice.” Yes, it’s time to make that Christmas list and budget. If you’re anything like me, a good book is always a good Christmas gift, and most books are reasonably priced too..And if you are looking for some good books, consider the ones I will tell you about below…

1. Southern Cross: True Stories of miracles, visions, voodoo, snake handling, civil disobedience, and my search for existential answers along the back roads of the Bible Belt by Tess Gadwa. (Full disclosure: My friend Tess designed my blog for me, and yes, I am completely biased about her work.) This is a book chronicling Tess’ spiritual journey to various towns, locales and cities in the Southeastern part of the United States. In fact, I met Tess when she stopped in Atlanta for a convention. We were both trying to convince Anne Lamott, the featured speaker, to take a look at our works in progress, get us a book publishing deal and make us famous…Well, maybe Tess did not want that, but that was my master plan…As it turns out, as far as we know, Lamott did not even peruse our work, but it’s all good…Tess & I are friends for life…

Below is an excerpt of her interview with Jay Bakker, son of Jim & Tammy Faye Bakker…If you haven’t heard of them, a quick Google search will get you up to speed. Basically, Jim & Tammy Faye Bakker, were the quintessential televangelist and wife team of the ’80s who preached prosperity for the masses, but it all call came down due to scandals of sex and money…In spite of it all, though their son Jay lost his faith in God, he found a new faith in God and began a very different type of church than the one he grew up in….

Eventually, Jay returned to the ministry he had founded. But his anger at the church still shows.“The best is when you’re on top and they love you. They treat you well, and they care about you, and they make you feel that you’re important. And when you’re on the bottom, they kick you when you’re down,” he says with resignation.

“I’ve sat in churches and watched preachers preach against my dad, not knowing
that I was in the congregation. I went to a youth group, and this youth pastor started
making jokes about my parents, and I was just so brokenhearted, trying to give church a
chance.”

It’s easy for me to shrug and think to myself, well, your dad was a convicted
criminal. He exemplified a lot of the worst traits of Christianity. Of course other church
leaders are going to want to distance themselves. I think I first read about the PTL scandal in the Bloom County comic strip, when I was 10 years old. I remember a joke about the characters scrounging their savings to keep Tammy Faye in eyeliner a few weeks longer.

How weird would it be to have your mom and dad be the butt of these jokes? You
might not have seen too much of them back in the era of the private jets and round-the-clock
bodyguards, but they would still be your parents.
“I hate legalism, man,” Jay says. “I hate when people’s lives are hurt by the
church. And they think it’s Jesus, or they think it’s God. And that’s why I’m angry,
because I lived through it.”

You got to check out this book…and it’s free on her website! As my friend is a talented writer, this work is literally a steal…

2. 30 Days to a More Powerful You: Inspired Sistah Style by Tangie Henry. This is a daily devotional book that focuses on critical areas in self-development from self-examination to self-acceptance…A registered nurse and certified life coach, Tangie Henry is also the founder of Inspired Sistah LLC, a faith-based company dedicated to “Inspiring Women to Live on Top of the World.” Below is an excerpt from the book…

At Tangie's book release party!

From Day 29

Run Your Own Race

“…And let us run with patience the race that is set before us.” -Heb. 12:1 (KJV)

While watching an episode of the Oprah Winfrey show one day, Sean “Diddy” Combs was the guest. Their discussion led to Mr. Combs talking about running the NYC Marathon. He made a statement to Oprah that was along the lines of running as fast, in the amount of time, that she did. Her response to what he stated was that he should run his “own race,” because there would be a time where he would “hit the wall.” She was implying that essentially, he needed to have his own motivation for running.

For the rest of devotional, you must by the book. You can find and buy the book at her website.

3. And if you are a woman and ready to meet and marry the One, you need to check out Dr. Alduan Tarrt’s latest book, The Ring Formula: How To Be the Only One He Ever Needs. This is Tartt’s second relationship book  in which he further expounds on what was presented in his first book, The Ring Formula: How to Meet, Date & Marry Mr. Right. Below is an excerpt…

First, these women do not misinterpret He who findeth a wife, findeth a good thing to mean sit around and wait on a man…Here’s what I want you to do. Do some homework and strategically position yourself at places where your caliber of man is likely to frequent. Be sure to select events where the male to female ratio is almost certain to be in your favor (i.e., Chamber of Commerce meetings, business networking events, fraternity and male conferences, sports bars, political fundraisers, sporting events, men’s
ministry, etc.).

Find a reason to be there that makes you feel comfortable and initiate operation F.L.I.R.T. Why can’t a woman network and exchange business cards? You have business about yourself too. What’s wrong with volunteering at fraternity conference or two? Why can’t you watch the game, get more informed about who’s running for office in your community or become more active in the male mentoring campaign at the church?

To buy Dr. Tartt’s book, which is available in e-format and traditional format, please go here.

Any thoughts?

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Book Notes#3 – On Being a Bachelor: Thoughts on Dating, Mating and Relating

Blane Bachelor, her book and me...

Hello World!

I hope you are wrapping up your summer in a fabulous way! I am – hence my lack of posts over the last week or so…I’ve been traveling…but my writing schedule will be back to normal in September…

However, I have found the time to write a book review on one of my fave – if not my fave – topics: relationships…A writer friend of mine Blane Bachelor recently held a book release party to celebrate the release of her first book On Being a Bachelor: Thoughts on Dating, Mating and Relating. (With a name last name like Bachelor, she was destined to write on the topic of relationships!) I went to the party and bought a book…After reading the book, I decided that I should review it right here…Disclaimer: Unlike the other books I have reviewed on this blog, this book is in no way religious or spiritual; however, everybody can relate to the topic of dating, mating and relating…

Okay, just a little background on Blane…Her book was inspired by and based on “Ask a Bachelor, “ her advice column for the Sunday Paper published right here in the A…The column was originally named “On Being a Bachelor” and included thoughts about her dating adventures in the A, but serendipitously, shortly after committing to write about her lack of a commitment, she found herself in a committed relationship…And so the column was reworked into an advice column…Wonder of wonders…

And now that I have introduced you to Blane, let’s get into her book…First of all, let me give a sampling of some of the chapter titles: Sex in the City, Becoming Carrie Bradshaw, The Hickey Dilemma, Skeletons and Dates in the Closet, The Slow Burn…hmmm, sounds interesting,  huh?

I think what I like most about the book is that it highlights dating in the A….As a dyed-in-the-wool single woman in the A, I know about dating in my fair city…but I am always interested in other perspectives and experiences…

From the chapter The Dangers of Dating a Metrosexual –

“About a week later, as we wove through the sea of blankets at Screen on the Green, I prayed we wouldn’t run into any of my friends, who would never let me forget that my date was wearing gray flat-front dress pants, a tight baby-blue T-shirt and a wide Nike wristband. On his elbow.

Raise your hands if you have gone out with a metrosexual (metrosexual: young straight stylish urban man: a young, straight, sensitive urban man who is unashamed to enjoy good clothes, stylish living, the art of decorating, and improving his personal appearance. This definition is from MSN Encarta.)! It’s a bit unnerving to date a metrosexual…I guess because I am not always on point when it comes to my own presentation…I forever pick at my fingernails and so my hands tend to look jacked up more than I would like to admit…I probably wear clothes much longer than I should because I’m frugal and don’t like spending money on them if I can help it…I know, it sounds so anti-girly, huh? I remember one fashionable guy I dated just blurted out once, “I think you are trying to be unsexy!”  He even brought a clothing catalog on one our dates to help me pick out some clothes that would look good on me…wow, huh? But back to Blane’s book…

Toward the middle of the book, Blane delves into her relationship with then boyfriend, now fiance’, C. I particularly like the chapter The Slow Burn…In this chapter, she describes her willingness to let their relationship develop although she was feeling less than fireworks at the beginning of their relationship…

“This gray was a departure of sorts for me. For a long time, I had always fancied myself a romantic, claiming I would never settle for anything less than all-out, can’t-keep-my-hands-off-you passion. And if those fireworks weren’t flying from the start like of a Fourth of July extravaganza, I simply wasn’t interested…So I still can’t explain why I didn’t close the lid early on whatever was bubbling between C. and me. Perhaps it was the simple fact that I felt the admittedly pathetic need to be validated after getting kicked to the curb. “

By the close of the chapter, she noticed that her relationship with C. finally heated up which explains the title of the chapter, obviously. Sooo, are you the type that has to be head-over-heals at the start of a relationship or are you content to let things simmer a while before getting hot? I have always favored head-over-heels attraction but I must admit this has not been the best practice for me…It has caused me to date some guys that were clearly unsuitable because they gave me the jollies…On the other hand, should one go out with a man if there isn’t any spark at all? What do you think?

Blane also delves into another phenomenon I’ve noticed in  dating/mating/relating – the inevitable weight gain of a happy couple….From the chapter Seriously Weighty Relationship Issues…

“A few months into being coupled up, I go from foxy to fatty. I am certainly not alone. Just looking at many of the people I know who are in relationships, I can see fuller faces, pudgier waistlines, more rotund rumps.”

Blane is speaking the truth! I first noticed this peculiarity in college…There was this resident advisor on my hall that gained a lot of weight as she was dating this guy who also lived in our dorm…I don’t know is she was cooking for him in our rustic dorm kitchens or if they were feeding each other at restaurants all over Athens, but this girl put on a considerable amount of weight…And then shortly after I stopped seeing him go into her dorm room at all hours of the day and night, she became her former stick-thin self…I pray that doesn’t happen to me…I have to maintain my sexy as my friend U. likes to say!

For more fun tidbits from Blane book’s, you need to buy it and read it for herself? So do you have any juicy tales from dating in the A that would make a great book or at least a great comment on my blog? Let me know…

Any thoughts?

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Book Notes#2 – The Ring Formula: How to Meet, Date & Marry Mr. Right

Hello World,

Can you believe that 2010 is half over…where did the time go?

Anywho, about a year ago, I started a Facebook conversation with one of my FB friends Dr. Alduan Tartt, an Atlanta-based psychologist,  about how he could counsel people about being in romantic relationships although he was single. That is one of my pet peeves…People who advise other people on situations while they have no practical experience of the situations in question…However, Dr. Tartt was very gracious in fielding my questions and even e-mailed me a free copy of his book, The Ring Formula: How to Meet, Date & Marry Mr. RIGHT (The title has been revised since the first printing of the book) so that I could review his book for my blog…Being the procrastinator that I am, I am reviewing his book a year later…But since he has a seminar this upcoming weekend, I thought it would be nice  to FINALLY review his book , and hopefully some of you will want to go to his seminar…Plus, according to his FB status, he is now in a relationship…

So on to my review….Well ladies, Dr. Tartt starts of his book stating that scores of single women have unwittingly taken themselves out of the marriage market because they simply don’t know how to make themselves marriage material — and to top it off, WHEN they do seek advice, they do so from other single women…Food for thought…so far, so good…I can cosign on that…

What I like about the book early on is that Dr. Tartt apologizes for some of his less-than-perfect behavior in his own dating life…

“I am writing this book to make amends for my past transgressions and to offer my beautifully talented sisters an attitude-altering lesson and insight into the male psyche.”

Now, I won’t give away his entire book here, but I will include some juicy tidbits…So what is the first component of Dr. Tartt’s formula? “Learn How to Cook: Nurture Your Man’s Soul.”…I must admit there is something that rises inside of me when I think about that…There is a feminist part of me that says, “Why do I have to know how to cook to catch a husband?” But when I think about my mother and her food…well let’s just say that I make sure I stop at her table every Sunday for a good home-cooked meal, and my father is always praising my mother for her cooking! So maybe he is on to something…Dr. Tartt also offers an example of two women who vied for the attention of one man…one was beautiful with a “mean shoe game” and great conversation and other woman was a great cook…guess who won out?

 “When a woman learns to cook, not just open a can and heat or microwave, she learns how to love and thus becomes a very powerful woman who is able to control even the strongest of men.”

Another part of Dr. Tartt’s formula is “Stay in Your Lane: Respect Your Man’s Position.”  This chapter is all about men and women staying in their traditional gender roles…i.e. men are designed to lead and women are designed to assist them….My father, who is a pastor, is always preaching that men and women will be happier if they are in the roles that God had in mind when He created us…I must admit though something within me bucks at this too…but Dr. Tartt did a good job of softening the blow….Below is a paragraph about a woman in the chapter that learned the hard way that even her father made occasional bad decisions about money, but her mother supported him anyway. This woman had just scared a man away by not being supportive of him and went to her mother to get some insight.

“Her mom told her about how she stood beside and supported her husband when he made a bad financial move in the real estate market despite his father-in-law’s warning. In fact, they had to downgrade and reside in a rental property on the wrong side of town to make ends meet. She was furious, but she saw standing beside and supporting her husband as her duty. She realized that her commitment was to her husband, not to material things.”

Dr. Tartt also believes that women should withhold sex if they want to get a man to marry them…He describes this belief in his chapter, “Check Under the Hood: Friends Before Lovers.” Interesting concept in today’s world…

“So what are you supposed to do when your man outright demands sex and independence? This is where YOUR self-discipline takes over. Simply refuse to compromise your morals, and opt to develop friendship, support and loyalty instead. Although men certainly will throw some form of temper tantrums after being turned down for sex, ultimately they respect you and work hard to earn your companionship.”

Hmmm…what do y’all think?

And what do y’all think about this chapter, “Soul Train or Soul Mate: Date to MARRY.” In this chapter, Dr. Tartt describes nice men who are content to be in relationships with nice women indefinitely…without being married! He describes Erika who was in a satisfying relationship with a good man who did not want to get married…After one too many Christmases had gone by without a ring, she decides to dump him and not settle for less than what she wants: marriage…Amen sista!

In summary, men don’t like to lose three things: love, power and respect. When Erika left Marshall, he ended up losing all three, which was more than he could bear. Ultimately, he lost her love, her daily attention and the power to have his cake and eat it too. Ironically, he is now fighting to reacquire that love, attention and respect. I’ll have to admit that Erika’s chances for love look pretty good now. In fact, she has another suitor who is madly in love with her, and she is enjoying every moment of it. Look who is having her cake and eating it too now!

There are more components to his formula, but you have to check out the actual book for yourself! So what do you think about Dr. Tartt’s book? Is he on to something? Or do we already know this information?…

Any thoughts?

P.S. Just cuz I feel like that today, I have posted this timeless Etta James classic. Enjoy!