Category Archives: Book Notes

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Celebrate Black Marriage Day Today!!!

Hello World!

We have all heard the grim statistics, debated on the the root causes, and predicted gloom and doom for years to come. But today, put all of that aside to celebrate as the Wedding Bliss Foundation has deemed today Black Marriage Day! If you are black and married, today is your day! And even if you are not married or black, I know that we can all agree about the significance of black marriages!

In her book “Yes, I Would Marry Him Again,” Soror Lori S. Jones Gibbs, vice president with a financial services company, has written a book in which 31 wives honor their husbands through essays on various topics. Pastor Shirley Caesar Williams, gospel singer extraordinaire,  wrote about her husband Bishop Harold Ivory Williams in her essay A Praying Man. Some of the other essay titles are: The Gentle Giant, Caramel Skin and Light Brown Eyes, The Encourager, The Southern Gentleman, His Love for Me is Modeled After His Love for God and I Lost My Friend and Love. Soror Jones Gibbs also wrote about her own husband in The Rock.

Below are a few quotes from her website about why Soror Jones Gibbs wrote this book.

“I decided to assemble this compilation because of the numerous African-American marriages that are working. Though books have been written about fathers and what they mean to daughters, sons and mothers, I never came across a book that served as a tribute to husbands, especially African-American husbands.”

“The truth of the matter is, I know there are women out there that feel just as I do when I say “Yes, I would marry him again.” These women would be willing to share their stories with others. Unfortunately, we do not verbalize it enough. Some would prefer to continue to portray black men in general, and black husbands in particular as abusive, lazy, absent fathers, cheating husbands, and non-caring, good-for-nothing men. However, I know that this is not true. I have been blessed to be married to my husband Kenneth Demire Gibbs Sr.—a strong example of black manhood—for 30 years.”

“The husbands profiled in this book are not celebrities. They are everyday men. Although not perfect, strive to follow God and do right by their wives and family. They come from all walks of life—from businessmen, lawyers and doctors to clergy, educators, farmers, mechanics, and custodians. As you read this book be mindful that all the salutes are original and written by wives. These wives all feel a sense of pride and blessings, love, encouragement and support from their husbands. So let the salutes begin!”

For more information on the book and buying the book, please go to Yes, I Would Marry Him Again.

Any thoughts?

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Soul Mates…even after Divorce?

Hello World,

It’s Valentine’s Day Eve, and since I don’t post typically post on Mondays (I post on Sunday and Wednesday), I have dedicated today’s blog post to one of my favorite topics (which you know if I you have read more than a month or so of my blog posts) – the pursuit of romantic love…

I first heard about this love story that I will feature in today’s post about a month or so ago at the annual Racial Reconciliation Service we have at our church commemorating the Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Holiday. Each year, my father and a worship service planning team invite a white minister to come to our church as a way of bridging white Christian churches to black Christian churches. Even if we work together all week, I still believe that Sunday mornings at churches all over America are still overwhelmingly segregated…

“Unfortunately, most of the major denominations still practice segregation in local churches, hospitals, schools, and other church institutions.  It is appalling that the most segregated hour of Christian America is eleven o’clock on Sunday morning, the same hour when many are standing to sing:  “In Christ There Is No East Nor West.'”  ~Martin Luther King, Jr., Stride Toward Freedom: The Montgomery Story, 1958

And so this year, we had another white person, but instead of the usual white male minister with a booming voice and large stature, a tiny white lady with a sweet voice showed up. Betty T. Smith, a retired legal secretary, spoke with passion about her lay missionary trips that she had taken over the years to Peru, Mexico, Brazil, Zimbabwe, Russia, Siberia, Israel, Estonia, China, Uganda, Wales and New York City. Smith penned a book about her experiences “Around the World in Seventy Years: Finding Healing and Fulfillment in the Pursuit of God,” which was published in 2008.  I was enthralled as she told stories of smuggling Bibles and God’s providential care as she risked her life to spread the gospel.

In passing, she mentioned that God taught her to forgive as she had to forgive her husband when he left her after 28 years of marriage all the while hoping that he would return to her. Since I am a journalist, I knew I had to get to the bottom of the story…So after she spoke, I walked up to this woman that I had never met before and asked her if her ex-husband ever returned to her…I figured if she did not want to share, she shouldn’t have said anything in the first place…(Yep, I’m nosy, and I get paid to be that way…) Instead of shrinking from my question which I anticipated, she told me that she could not tell me but the answer was in her book, “Nothing Wasted: When Evil Befalls You, Know That God Keeps You Standing.”

I thought I had her cornered, but as it turns out, she had me cornered. I had to get her book and find out the answer the hopeless romantic that I am…I read the entire book that day since I could not put it down until I got to the end! It starts off like the story of many Georgia girls of that time I imagine…Betty met Bob when she was still a student at the now defunct Hapeville High School, and he was attending the University of Georgia (Go Dawgs). She was a member of Hapeville Presbyterian Church, and he was a member of Hapeville Methodist Church. They spent many evenings at the infamous Fox Theatre downtown and enjoyed the greasy goodness of The Varsity.  “In those days, no one gave cholesterol a second thought.”  They married three years later on June 29, 1952.

They settled into a normal life attending Forest Park United Methodist Church where her husband was the treasurer. After Bob joined the Army, their lives changed, and they moved to several locations before finally settling again in Georgia – this time in College Park. By this time, Bob and Betty had three children Steve, Scott & Stacey. All was normal until 1978. After returning from a business trip, Bob confessed to Betty that he was having an affair with a mutual friend and that it had been going on for 10 years! And then he left…and this is where the story gets interesting…Now, with my temper and flair for the dramatic, I think I would have flung myself on the floor and cried for a while before hatching a plot to take him out…But that is not what Betty did…Betty prayed and asked God to forgive her husband through her!

“Forgiveness is not a one-step operation, it is a process, and I began by prostrating myself on my bedroom floor, crying out to the Lord to forgive Bob through me and to remove any bitterness. I felt His cleansing touch as I lay on that floor with my face in the carpet.”

During her time with the Lord, Betty also discerned God telling that her relationship and marriage with Bob would be restored. Wow, that’s a lot of faith….

In the months and years that allowed, God confirmed His word to her through many signs and wonders which are too many to detail here, but I will mention a few. Just after Bob left Betty, Betty read this book “Hinds Feet on High Places,” in which one of the characters in the book is afraid as she follows the Shepherd (Jesus) to high places. On her path, she discovers a yellow flower, and the name of the flower is “Acceptance-with-Joy.” From reading that book, she felt that God was challenging her to accept her circumstances and find a new life even as she expected her husband’s return…

But as any dyed-in-the-wool Christian knows, even when we know that we have heard God’s confirmation of victory in a difficult situation, we still have to endure until our change comes. And it is hard to believe when faith is the substance of things hoped for and not seen – yet at least…Her faith in God’s promise to her was especially challenged when Bob filed for divorce about two years later…Their divorce was final on Feb. 5, 1980, and he married the other woman on Valentine’s Day of that same year…I cannot imagine her heartbreak…She said that to shield her pain from her children, she often took “hour-showers” so that she could cry without them knowing…

Although Bob was no longer her husband, she claimed God as her husband according to various promises in Isaiah 54.

5 For your Maker is your husband— the LORD Almighty is his name— the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth.  6 The LORD will call you back as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit— a wife who married young, only to be rejected,” says your God.

But Betty’s life did not end. She took her family on vacations. She hosted an exchange student from Sweden. She watched her children get married. She went on mission trips all over the world…

Twelve years after Bob married the other woman, they too divorced. Now you would think that Betty and Bob reunited then, but that is not case. And if not, you would think that Betty would have given up her hope of reconciliation at that point, but she did not. In 2001, she professed her love to him after a graduation ceremony in which Betty received a bachelor’s degree. That’s right, Betty received a bachelor’s degree when she was 67 years old and received a master’s degree two years later…All the while, she held on to her love for Bob, only going on very few dates in the many years after she and her husband divorced…It’s hard to believe that she continued to be faithful to a husband that was flagrantly unfaithful to her, but as they, God is able…

Aside from praying for her husband’s return, Betty also prayed for his salvation. After her marriage was over, she discovered that Bob’s faith in Jesus Christ was cursory and that he had only gone to church to please her. Years later, after their divorce, they started dating again, and he even invited her on a trip to Acapulco. But Betty refused to go…

“There was no mention of restoring our marriage, or any talk of forgiveness or commitment. It appeared to be an invitation to shack up, and it was offensive to me. I sadly declined his offer, answering that since he did not have Jesus in his heart, I could not go with him.”

And yet she still held on…You have to read the book to discover all of the wonderful ways that God reassured her of His promise to her…

In 2002, after years of praying, fasting and interceding for him, Bob declared that he did believe that Jesus Christ was his Lord and Savior, and Betty expected “Bob to knock on my door any minute, but he didn’t.” At this point, I wanted to yell, “Wake up Betty! This guy ain’t coming back. And if he does, why do you want him anyway?” But this is not my story to tell so I had to read on…

In 2008, Bob got sick…The family decided to place him in assisted living home, and Betty was there to help Bob get adjusted…On April 12, he revealed to her that he had never stopped loving her and asked for her forgiveness, and Betty confessed her love as well. But secretly within, she grappled with other emotions…

“I had waited thirty years to hear those words, but they came from a broken man, and I never wanted that. I wanted my strong, virile Bob to knock on my door, confess his undying love, sweep me off my feet, and then we would have many more years of wedded bliss. But we were running out of time.”

Bob died days later…After the funeral, Betty went to the cemetery to take fresh flowers to his grave. Mysteriously, one faded yellow rose lay on his grave.

“I took it home with me, for I recognized its name: Acceptance with Joy. My Lord retrieved for me one yellow rose as confirmation that He does not waste anything. He kept every promise and gave me a happy ending.”

Betty dedicated her book to Robert Lee Smith, “her soul mate.”

I must confess I don’t know if I would have held on to my love for someone who clearly rejected me over and over again as is detailed in the book, but I am inspired that the Lord led her on her path every step of the way. And He made sure to take care of her, making sure that not one of her experiences was a waste…Although romantic love was the centerpiece of this story, it is also story of God’s unfailing love…Happy Valentine’s Day to Roberts everywhere and to God, most importantly!

For more information about this book, go to BettyTerrySmith.com.

Any thoughts?

I know this song is thick on the melodrama, but I still love it, and it is appropriate for this post…

“My Heart Will Go On” by Celine Dion…




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Remembering Black History – Margaret Walker

Hello World!

I pray that you are safe and warm in spite of the blizzards that many of us are experiencing throughout the United States…Thankfully, here in the A, we are back to our normal temperate temperatures after our uncharacteristic snowstorm last month…

Since it is Black History Month, of course, I must dedicate some of my humble blog space to honoring those who paved the way for all that black people and the world enjoy today…One of the works of literature that all of us can enjoy today is the book Jubilee by written by Margaret Walker( July 7, 1915 – November 30, 1998). To me, the book is similar to Roots by Alex Haley. I cannot remember when I came across this book, but I LOVED it…

Here is the classic–and true–story of Vyry, the child of a white plantation owner and his black mistress, a Southern Civil War heroine to rival Scarlett O’Hara. Vyry bears witness to the South’s prewar opulence and its brutality, to its wartime ruin and the subsequent promise of Reconstruction. It is a story that Margaret Walker heard as a child from her grandmother, the real Vyry’s daughter. The author spent thirty years researching the novel so that the world might know the intelligent, strong, and brave black woman called Vyry. The phenomenal acclaim this best-selling book has achieved from readers black and white, young and old, attests to her success. – Powell’s Books website. Also, the New Georgia Encyclopedia has an entire entry about Jubilee, which is set in Georgia.

Below I will list some quotes  I have found about this great author and her work. What an American treasure!

  • Dr. Margaret Abigail Walker Alexander’s contributions to American letters–four volumes of poetry, a novel, a biography, and numerous critical essays–mark her as one of this country’s most gifted black intellectuals. These accomplishments, as well as fellowships and awards that she has earned, garner her much deserved praise, but they are even more remarkable given that she achieved most of them after 1943 when she was a college professor and a wife and mother of four children. Although the cumulative demands of these pursuits would have broken the spirit of others, Walker prevailed, and in so doing reached beyond her advantaged middle class background to strengthen her race by leaving them (and all of us) a nurturing literary legacy.  – Donna Allego
  • Margaret Abigail Walker was born on 7 July 1915 in Birmingham, Alabama. Her parents, the Reverend Sigismund C. Walker, a Methodist minister and an educator, and Marion Dozier Walker, a music teacher, encouraged her to read poetry and philosophy from an early age. – Tomeiko Ashford
  • Walker completed her high school education at Gilbert Academy in New Orleans, Louisiana, where her family had moved in 1925. She went on to attend New Orleans University (now Dillard University) for two years. Then, after acclaimed poet Langston Hughes recognized her talent and urged her to seek training in the North, she transferred to Northwestern University in Chicago, Illinois, where she received a B.A. in English in 1935, at the age of nineteen. In 1937, she published “For My People” in Poetry magazine. Her first poem to appear in print, “For My People” became one of her most famous works and was even anthologized in 1941 in The Negro Caravan. – Tomeiko Ashford
  • In 1943, Walker married Firnist James Alexander, or “Alex,” as she loving called him, an interior designer and decorator. Following the birth of their first three children (they raised a total of four during their years of marriage), the couple moved to Jackson, Mississippi, in 1949. Walker began a prosperous teaching career at Jackson State College in the same year, retiring from its English department thirty years later in 1979. In 1968 she founded the Institute for the Study of History, Life, and Culture of Black People (now the Margaret Walker Alexander National Research Center); she directed the center until her retirement. During her tenure at Jackson State, Walker also organized and chaired the Phillis Wheatley Poetry Festival. Following retirement, she remained active as professor emerita until her death in the fall of 1998.- Tomeiko Ashford
  • Here is a poem Margaret Walker wrote about her husband, Firnist James Alexander…

My monkey-wrench man is my sweet patootie;
the lover of my life, my youth and age.
My heart belongs to him and to him only;
the children of my flesh are his and bear his rage
Now grown to years advancing through the dozens
the honeyed kiss, the lips of wine and fire
fade blissfully into the distant years of yonder
but all my days of Happiness and wonder
are cradled in his arms and eyes entire.
They carry us under the waters of the world
out past the starposts of a distant planet
And creeping through the seaweed of the ocean
they tangle us with ropes and yarn of memories
where we have been together, you and I.

  • Jubilee, a neo-slave narrative based on the collected memories of her maternal grandmother, Elvira Ware Dozier, was published in 1966, only a year after Walker completed the first version of it for her dissertation. Many scholars view the novel as an African American response to America’s fascination with Gone With the Wind (1936). Others recognize the work as an example of the historic presence that the author commands as a prophet of sorts for her people. The novel has enjoyed tremendous popularity, winning the Houghton Mifflin Literary Award (1968), having been translated into seven languages, and having never gone out of print. It has also led the author into controversy: in 1988, Walker found herself in conflict with the famed author of Roots, Alex Haley, whom she accused of infringing on her copyright of Jubilee. However, her lawsuit against him was dismissed. Walker provides further detail regarding the production of the novel in her 1972 essay, “How I Wrote Jubilee.” – Tomeiko Ashford
  • Before her death in November, 1998, Walker had written more than 10 books and an unknown number of poems, short stories, essays, letters, reviews, and speeches. Walker was honored with a host of awards and accolades as well as four honorary degrees. Jackson, Mississippi, her home for much of her life, has honored her by naming July 12 “Margaret Walker Day. ” – University of Minnesota website

Don’t you just love Black History Month? Below is a YouTube video of Margaret Walker reading her poem “I Want to Write.”

Any thoughts?