Impact Church Pastor Olu Brown Reveals Strategies for Growing, Strengthening & Leading Churches in Books ‘4D Impact’ & ‘Leadership Directions From Moses’

Hello World,

As a pastor’s daughter and granddaughter, I know church. Many people have visited a church on a Sunday morning for worship or maybe even on Wednesday evening for Bible Study. But during those other days of the week, other business is going on, trust and believe that. And many times, a church is struggling with growing its membership, developing a strong church and putting in place visionary leadership. When my father retired as the pastor of my church after 38 years in 2017, our church has been in this place because we’re in a new phase of the church. So when I got the chance to interview Pastor Olu Brown, I was excited to do so. Below is his bio.

Olujimi (Olu) Brown is the father of Daya Elom Brown and Langston Wesley Brown. Olu is a native of Lufkin, Texas. He graduated from Jarvis Christian College in Hawkins, Texas and earned a Master of Divinity degree from Gammon Theological Seminary of the Interdenominational Theological Center in Atlanta, Georgia.

He serves as the Lead Pastor of Impact Church, a young congregation in the East Point community of Metropolitan Atlanta (impactdcd.org). With Olu’s vision and leadership, since its founding in 2007, Impact has grown from a core team of 25 people to more than 2,400 attendees each Sunday in person and 1,600 online with a $4M budget, and listed at number 5 in the 25 Fastest Growing Large United Methodists Churches, 2018 Edition.

Olu strongly believes in an active church, one that makes a meaningful impact in the lives of individuals and communities. Impact is a multicultural community committed to Doing Church Differently™. Impact DCD redefines the church experience through inclusiveness, relatable messages, energetic weekly gatherings, unique events and activities, relevant youth programs and community outreach. The people of Impact are compelled to help bring healing, justice and compassion to the world.

Pastor Brown wrote about church management and leadership in his latest books 4D Impact: Smash Barriers Like a Smart Church and Leadership Directions from Moses: On the Way to a Promised Land. Below is my interview with him about these books.

1. Why did you feel the need to write “4D Impact: Smash Barriers Like a Smart Church?” Were you approached to write this book?

I felt the need because in part I travel quite a bit and in traveling, I get an opportunity to meet different leaders and different pastors and I’m finding that although many have great educational backgrounds and have had great experiences in their local churches, the systems, people and culture changes so quickly that they’re not able to adapt to those changes fast enough. And so I wrote ‘4 D’ to say, ‘Hey, there are four critical areas in every church, wherever you happen to be, if you could focus on these areas, you could have a healthy, more vital, growing church.’ And those areas of course from the book are technology, worship, systems and hospitality, which on the surface sounds very easy, low-hanging fruit. But as you dig through that and apply it to your local church, it becomes some of the hardest but most rewarding work that you will ever do.

2. You recently hosted an online conference regarding the principles you shared in “4D Impact.”  How did you teach the principles you learned in the one-hour conference?

It wasn’t designed to teach all of the principles in one hour. It was an introductory course. It was an introduction for people who may be skeptical, people who have heard these things before and they’re not quite sure and people who are totally sold out and they really want to tell their leaders, ‘Here is what I’ve been talking about. Here is someone else saying it.’

3. In this book, you share stories of success and failure from Impact Church’s ongoing journey. Tell me about one success and one failure and what you learned? 

One story of success is beginning around literal coffee tables in Starbucks with a group of volunteers who are still so passionate about the vision we’re casting that 12 years later, Impact is what it is. So although now we have staff and our budget is larger, we historically have always and will always be dependent on volunteers. So as it relates to volunteerism, that is one of our successes.

One failure story which was really a learning opportunity is around what it means to literally disciple people to the next level. When you think about churches, most churches do discipleship or should do discipleship, meaning, ‘Hey, I want to be a Christian. I accept Christ and 10 years later, I shouldn’t be in the same place.’ So I don’t call it a failure but an opportunity. It is typical of new churches, meaning we start like gangbusters and then one day, you wake up and you realize, ‘Oh my God, we have to take these people somewhere.’ So that is a constant question for us, ‘How do we take people to a place of Christian maturity while knowing that as a 12-year-old, preteen church, we can’t take people all of the way. But what is that part of the way that God is calling us to? So that’s been an opportunity for us to learn. We don’t always get it right but one day, we hope to say, ‘If you hang out at Impact, this is what you will look like as a Christian.’

How did you galvanize those volunteers?

I was blessed to work at a large church for about five and a half years before we started Impact. While I was there, I built some great relationships and I also built some great relationships in the marketplace who I was able to pull in. And it wasn’t just me. The volunteers invited people so we all pulled in folk. So it was relationships.

What do you mean by “you can’t take people all of the way?”

If you think about a discipleship model in the alphabet, beginning with A and going all the way to Z, some churches will say, we can take you all the way to Z, but that’s really not true. You have to think of a church like a supermarket or another store. Target is great, but they’re not going to sell everything. Wal-Mart is great, but they’re not going to sell everything. And so typically a shopper has to piecemeal their shopping list along the lines of two or three locations. And that’s the reality of where spirituality is in the 21st century. No one church can do everything for one person or should we. But we should be able to know what we do very well.

So when we talk about a discipleship model, that may mean you meet Impact as a seeker, trying to understand who Jesus Christ is and then when you leave Impact, whenever that is, maybe you will have taken a Bible Study or been part of a small group that helps you understand the Bible, that helps you understand prayer, that helps you understand other spiritual disciplines. And then you can go on to another church and go deeper in another spiritual dynamic or in another area and while you’re with them, you’re learning even more than what you learned than when you were with us. But we were a part of that foundational story that helped you get to the next level of your spiritual growth.

So you don’t think a church should try to keep members for their lifetimes? 

It depends on the life and stage of the church and the life and stage of the member. For instance, a month ago, I was at a church and they were celebrating their 154th church anniversary. There are some members who have been members of that church for all of their lives and that works for them. But I think the way that culture is shifting because of jobs, because of geography, because folks today don’t mind living in a city two or three years, it’s going to be virtually impossible for healthy, thriving growing churches to say we have lifetime members. We have lifetime support. We have lifetime encouragement. And we have lifetime shared stories but for you to be here your entire life is unlikely and typically if you’re a young adult.

4. Some people are skeptical of megachurches. I’m not sure if Impact is considered a megachurch but it is a large church. For example, my husband was just saying to me that he wonders how some churches grow to megachurch size without some shenanigans being involved or the message of the gospel being compromised somehow. As a church growth expert, do you feel that every church should have thousands of members in order to be healthy? 

I don’t. The numerical size does not determine health or vitality of a local church. What most people don’t know is in America, the average size church is 75 people so when you see these large churches and megachurches or gigachurches, those are a minority.  They are not the norm. It’s like what you see in the United States of America. It’s mostly made up of these small towns. You’ve got these huge cities like Atlanta but if you travel outside of Atlanta, a lot of America is rural, grassroots people who grow crops, who have industries that literally service the world. And it’s the same thing with the local church. I believe my expertise comes in by saying, ‘I don’t necessarily want you to grow larger for the sake of; I want you to be as healthy as you can be and as vital as you can be. And if you do that, you will reach the world for Jesus Christ.’

But to your husband’s point, I do believe some churches can grow that large without any abnormalities, without anything happening that can be indifferent or bad because there are just some churches and yeah, it’s spiritual and it’s favor, but God’s favor is on every church. Some people think this church is big because God’s favor is on it. No God’s favor is just as present in that church with 80 people but there are just some things that work for that church. It may be a strong lay leader. It may be a strong Sunday School system. It may be a strong small group system.

Or they are just are in the right geography. Sometimes when you watch football, you will see these small towns that have college teams. For instance, you take the University of Georgia. I’m here right now in Michigan and I just passed Notre Dame. Now Notre Dame is a small city, but it has a huge school. And I think sometimes these schools are located in places where there isn’t a pro team presence so that the college team is the pro team and there is a lot invested in that. You can just be in the right community and you’re the only show in town. So by nature of being the only show in town, you’re going to be bigger if you’re healthy.

5. To assess the “health” of a church, you assess culture, hospitality, worship, and technology. Tell me more about this assessment process and the diagnostic tools in the book. 

The first thing I do is to come in and get to know the church’s story and that means getting to know their history and their present and then from that you will begin to hear the culture of the church because every church has a culture. Culture may mean very strong pastoral leadership. Culture may mean very strong lay leadership. Culture may mean this is an outreach and missions church. You get to know their stories and their culture.

And then you observe their worship because people can tell you about their worship but you actually have to sit in on their worship. A couple of weeks ago, I was in Florida, sitting in on Sunday morning, on a worship experience at a church. After that, I was able to give some written feedback and oral feedback to the leader of that church or the pastor who will soon be the leader so that he and the other leaders can take that and work through each of those details related to worship and make that more vital.

Technology is more of an Excel spreadsheet where you’re taking inventory of current technology, outdated technology. You’re breaking that into software because a lot of people don’t think about that. And you also break that into hardware. And from that you can address budget decisions and directional path decisions about what we want to look like as a church in technology.

Systems can be broad but one of the things I tell people about systems is that there are open systems and closed systems. And you think about language for instance. Whenever someone stands and gives an announcement and says, ‘Hey, thank you for being a part of church family. We’re glad you’re here.’ Words like that are closed system words meaning when you say family, that means we have everybody we need and we don’t necessarily need new people. So your language is a system and people don’t think about that. So myself and my team leaders will come in as outsiders with neutral opinions, wanting to help and not harm you because we all want to reach people for Jesus Christ.

6. What inspired you to write “Leadership Directions from Moses?” which is described a handy tool for those dealing with the departure of key members from the church.

It doesn’t matter the age or stage of a church, people leave from day 1. The very first Sunday service that we had Impact, some people left afterward. People come with preconceived expectations. And we started in a middle school. And there weren’t any crosses up.  There were no stained glass windows. Some people said, ‘This is great for y’all but it’s not for me.’ So people are always leaving and people are always coming.

But I wrote this book for leaders like me who struggle with sharing vision, struggle with delegation and also who struggle with understanding that the same way God speaks to me, God also speaks to other people. So when we read Moses’ story that then leads into Joshua, we always assume at all 12 tribes made it into the Promised Land. But if you read Numbers 32, the Reubenites and the Gadites come to Moses when they are in a geographic area called the Transjordan, they say, ‘Hey Moses, we like where we are.’ Moses makes a compromise and says, ‘Okay, if you help us go fight for the land, then you and your families can come back here.’ So time moves on. Moses dies. Joshua is the new leader. Joshua divides out the land and that’s when Joshua tells those two tribes, you can now return to that place.

What typically happens with leaders is that we demonize people for having a different vision or a different path, and we then only focus on those people who don’t want to go where you feel God has called you to go and those are two fatal mistakes in leadership. Because one, we don’t honor other people’s vision and how they hear God and two, we take our eyes off of the majority of people who still want to move forward and we put all of our emphasis on the minority group of people who don’t necessarily want to move forward. So it works through three critical conversations: self-conversation around self-awareness and self-differentiation, conversation with others around casting vision and helping them understand what God is sharing in your heart, and finally those difficult conversations that we have with God when you’re down and out. Ultimately, we all have a promise and we can get there but we only get there through these difficult conversations.

7. Is there anything else you would like to add?

First of all, thank you for this interview. I do share with groups as I travel and at home, that in spite of all the difficulties with leaders in general, but specifically with leaders of local churches, both clergy and lay people, are facing, this is the greatest evangelistic opportunity of our lifetime. I know we’re seeing a decline in church attendance and more and more people are opting out of religion in general, but I still believe this a great opportunity if we’re willing to reach people in a 21st century way with the same theology we’ve always had but we have to be willing to retool, we have to be willing to reshape and we have to be willing to reach culture where they are and not expect them to walk through our doors and just show up.

For more information about 4D Impact: Smash Barriers Like a Smart Church and Leadership Directions from Moses: On the Way to a Promised Land and Pastor Olu Brown, go to @pastorolubrown on Instagram and his website olubrown.org. 

Any thoughts?

Single Mother Rev. Lisa D. Jenkins Was Expelled From Church, Now First Female Pastor of St. Matthew’s Baptist Church…

Hello World,

Happy Mothers Day to the all of the mothers out there! On this Mothers Day, I want to highlight Rev. Lisa D. Jenkins, who is the tenth pastor and first female to lead the nearly 95-year-old St. Matthew’s Baptist Church located in Harlem, New York.  However, 24 years ago she was expelled from the church because she was pregnant and unwed. Please read her biography below followed by my interview of her.

Pastor of Harlem’s St. Matthew’s Baptist Church, Rev. Lisa D. Jenkins received her bachelor’s degree in speech communications with an emphasis in journalism from Pace University and attained the degree of master of divinity from New York Theological Seminary.  She is currently a doctoral student at McCormick Theology Seminary as a Dr. Jeremiah A. Wright Scholar.

Additionally, Rev. Jenkins has taught New Testament Studies and Biblical Exegesis at New York Theological Seminary, and serves as an adjunct lecturer of Cultural Diversity in the History and Philosophy Department at York College/City University of New York.  In addition to her pastoral and academic work, Rev. Jenkins lectures and facilitates workshops and seminars on a variety of topics including, but not limited to, Balancing Family & Ministry, Single Parenting, Mental Health & the Black Church, Women in Ministry and more. Rev. Jenkins is a member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Incorporated, the NAACP and is an advocate of both adults & children with ADHD.

She is also the author of the recently released book The Other Side of Through: Messages of Hope, Empowerment, Justice and Faith, a compilation of powerful sermons preached by Rev. Lisa D. Jenkins. A combination of devotion and ethnography, the sermons delivered with Rev. Jenkins’ unique style and humor capture the rich tradition of the African-American religious experience which comb the scriptures in search of the gospel that will break the yokes of oppression and injustice while offering hope and redemption.

As a pastor, she brings over 30 years of diverse experience gained in the corporate sector, academia and in faith-based settings.  Her experiences include modeling on the stage of the world famous Apollo Theatre, singing with the Grammy Award-winning Hezekiah Walker & The Love Fellowship Crusade Choir, working as on-air radio announcer, and serving on community boards, city task forces and various non-profit organizations.

Rev. Lisa D. Jenkins is the proud mother of Jordan Christopher Jenkins-Crandle.

1. How were you expelled from your church?

Yes, I was kicked out of the church. I was expelled from church. I did return eventually. I was pregnant, but I was 28 years old. I was old (laughter). I was a grown woman out of college. At that time, I was working for RJR Nabisco. It was a Fortune 100 company at that time. As a matter of fact, I had just handed in my resignation because I was traveling with Love Fellowship Crusade Choir. I was traveling with Hezekiah Walker. I remember we did the ‘Live at Morehouse’ album, and I was so sick and I was so tired. We did it in January. I had no idea I was pregnant and then I found out I was pregnant. I remember Bishop Walker. He wasn’t a bishop at the time, but he was so kind to me. I was lying in bed one day. I was just lamenting my life.  I had done so much but here I was at this point and time pregnant.

I remember Bishop Walker calling me because he was starting his church, and he asked was I able to help out with something. I remember I was boohooing. I said, ‘I can’t. I’m pregnant. I can’t do anything.’ And I will never forget. He said, ‘Lisa, don’t worry about a thing. Children are never a mistake. God has got you. God is going to keep your child. Know that I’m here for you, Love Fellowship is here for you. Don’t worry about a thing.’ He was just so encouraging.

But at my church, it was different. I wasn’t holding any leadership positions at my church Ebenezer Baptist Church in Flushing, Queens. I think I was singing in the choir but nothing else. My pastor said to me that I should stop coming for a while. This conversation was by phone. I don’t remember how he found out. It was all a haze. I remember not understanding what he was saying because certainly I was not the first female to be pregnant and unwed at that church. I do remember he said, ‘You’re starting to show and you’re not like the others.’ I remember being speechless. He said, ‘You’re one of the leaders.’ And I remember saying, ‘I’m not in leadership. I’m not holding any offices.’ He said, ‘You’re very visible.’

Later on though, he invited me back to the church a few weeks later after people had found out that he asked me to stop coming to the church. Because my son’s father was the minister of music and was still playing the organ at the church. My son’s father is a good person, but marriage was not an option or feasible. But my pastor never really apologized though. I did not go back right away, but I did go back. I was away from the church three or four months or so.

I eventually had my son in 1994 and my church was very welcoming. The next thing I knew the pastor that told me not to come to the church licensed me to preach the gospel three years later in 1997. He wound up saying that he did not know how to handle the situation because he thought there was a calling on my life. Again, he never apologized, but I took it for what it was: someone who grew up in a different era who although he wasn’t against women in ministry, but we live in a very patriarchal society.

2. How did you receive your call to ministry?

A lot of people will tell me that they were called to ministry. I never tell anyone I was called to ministry. It was something that was validated by other people always. Other people in the church, mothers in the church. My previous pastor’s wife. I was always asked to speak, preside at banquets. I was always asked to introduce people.

So there was a Youth Day coming up. It was 1995 or 1996 I think. And my pastor called me and said, ‘I need for you to speak for Youth Day.’ I said, ‘Sure, not a problem.’ I said, ‘Is that going to be before the preacher or after the preacher?’ He said, ‘No, I need for you to speak.’ I said, ‘Well, who is going to be the preacher?’ He said, ‘There is no preacher. It’s just going to be you.’ I remember just standing there because I was on the phone. I wasn’t comprehending because in my mind, you have to have a preacher.  I said, ‘What is this? I thought you said it was Sunday morning. Is this an afternoon event? Is this a banquet?’ He said, ‘It’s Sunday morning service and it’s Youth Day. I need for you to be the main speaker. You’re going to speak from the podium from the lectern on the side. But when it comes time for the Word, you’re going to be it. ’ And mind you, this is two years after I had my son. I said, ‘Okay.’

I remember getting of the phone and I remember calling, we call her Ya-Ya. God rest her soul. Her actual name is Percynthia Brown. She was one of the mothers of the church and I called her because I was confused. I said, ‘Ya-Ya, Pastor just called me and he wants me to speak. But he says there is not going to be a preacher.’ She said, ‘Baby, that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. God has a calling on your life.’ So I spoke. It was a great service. The message was well-received. We had a wonderful time in the Lord.

And shortly after that, Pastor said, ‘I want you to have your trial sermon. How do you feel about that?’  By that time, on my own,  I was already going to a Bible institute in the community. Also, there was another church that had a Baptist institute that I attended. This was not for preaching or professional ministry.  This was just to learn more about God on my own. I have always been a learner and a reader. I was reading the Bible at 2 a.m. in the morning on my own.

So I had a trial sermon on the last Sunday in October in 1997. It was a packed house. My sermon title was ‘The Least Likely.’ It was based on 1 Samuel where David was the least likely to be chosen to be the king of Israel. Out of all of Jesse’s sons who were kingly, David was in the back with the sheep and the prophet said, ‘Is there another? Don’t you have another son?’ He said, ‘Yeah, I do but he’s out in the back. But you don’t want him. Look at my other sons.’ Samuel said, ‘No bring your son from the back.’ So he was the least likely.

So from there, God just made a way. Whenever I went places, my son was with me. I had a collapsible bassinet in the trunk of my car.

3. You also credit your church mother with helping you with your calling to ministry to ministry. Is there anyone else who helped you as well?

My actual mother Lucy Mae Jenkins. She had me at 49 years old. They told her I was a tumor. And they told her that she should not have me when they found out that I was not a tumor. They told her she needed to have a medical abortion because it’s going to be dangerous for you. She said, ‘No, that’s not going to happen.’ She lived long enough to see me pastor my first church Blessed Trinity Baptist Church in Harlem. She had my brother at the age of 17 but after that, she had no other children until she had me.

4. Now that you’re a pastor of a church, if you had a woman to get pregnant in your congregation who was in leadership or just any woman, how would you deal with that?

How would I deal with that? I would be loving to her. I would do what Hezekiah Walker did and say, ‘God loves you.’ I would ask her what she needs. Is she okay? I don’t know how to answer that because to me it’s like breathing. Like when someone is going through something, you say, ‘What can I do for you?’ Is there anything that the church can do for you? Do you need support?’ And she may be fine. She may be vice-president of a corporation with a family behind her or she could be a single mother on public assistance living in projects around the corner.

The Bible says that we are supposed to be kind to one another and that we aren’t supposed to gossip. That there shouldn’t be adultery. That we clothe and feed the hungry. The Bible tells us lots of things that we do not do. The church is full of people who treat each other in nasty ways but we’re not talking about that. We’re talking about someone who has gotten pregnant out of wedlock which needs to dealt with compassion. We need to make sure that the person’s needs are taken care of and that they continue to be reconciled to Christ just like all of us when we wake up in the morning and we have things happen to us throughout the day that might go against the will of God. I’m one of those people who is beyond this nitpicking about which sin is worse.

I would never tell someone not to come to church. Are you kidding me?

5.What about if they were in leadership?

Depends upon what the ministry is. If they were a preacher or pastor, I would counsel them. I would hope they had enough humility to do what is necessary for their own sake, for their own spiritual well-being. If you are in a leadership position, I should not have to sit anyone down. I would leave that to God because God will deal with that. Because there are some times when we all need to take a retreat or a sabbatical whether you’re pregnant or not.

6. What have been the blessings and challenges of being a single parent and minister?

Childcare and making sure that his needs were taken care of. But I did have a very supportive network. When I traveled  to preach or went some place to lead a study, they knew that I had my son with me. Sometimes, he would sit with the First Lady or if I had someone that came with me, my son would sit with that person. It was challenging but doable.

7. Any advice for single parents?

A lot of single parents are praying for a husband or wife to assist them, but my prayer is that God’s will be done in your life and that you be strengthened and encouraged in your singleness and for whatever God has in store for you, knowing that God is able to do all things. I remember when my son was younger, I would pray for a partner, but I realized it was for the wrong reasons.  I would say, ‘I wish I had someone to help me take this garbage out. I’m so tired.’ ‘I wish I had someone to help me rake these leaves.’ ‘Oh my goodness, it’s snowing outside. I need someone to help me shovel this snow.’ ‘I need someone to help me get up in the middle of the night and change diapers.’ But God is our help. And when I think back, those were really selfish reasons. The right reason is that God would send someone who is necessary so that His will would be accomplished in both of their lives.

Paul says that it’s not sinful to be single. If you are single, then you can devote more of your time to the Lord. And if you’re married, your time is devoted to your spouse.

I’m very comfortable in my singleness now, but if it’s God will to be married one day, then absolutely. But I love walking into an empty house each day!

For more information about Rev. Lisa D. Jenkins, go to her website: lisadjenkins.org.

Happy Mothers Day to all the mothers out there 🙂

Any thoughts?

3 Reasons Why I’m Glad Michelle Williams & Pastor Chad Johnson Are Reportedly ‘Working on Things!”

Hello World,

Last April, I was so excited when I heard the engagement story of Michelle Williams & Pastor Chad Johnson that I wrote “7 Reasons Why I Love That Michelle Williams of Destiny’s Child is Engaged to Pastor Chad Johnson!” Below is an excerpt:

1. Michelle Williams had to wait on the Lord…We’ve all heard that God is an on-time God, and He is. But the caveat is He may not come when you want Him to come, but He’s always on time…I must confess that I hate that sometimes…God’s timing that is…But there are so many verses that address waiting on God’s timing that I have to conclude that waiting is a part of the Christian life…Below are three of these verses:

“Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.” Psalm 27:14

“The Lord is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.” Lamentations 3:25

“Therefore I will look unto the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation: my God will hear me.” Micah 7:7

I bet it was hard to watch Beyoncé get married 10  years ago, Kelly get married 4 years ago while Michelle, who is making gospel  albums, was just waiting for God’s best to arrive! She had even gotten to the point where she was bitter about love. This is a quote from  her Instagram page: “I used to be so bitter and a hater when Valentine’s Day  would come around. I even found myself tweeting things like “Valentine’s Day is for suckers!” Welp….I’m a sucker! The Lord has been kind!” But her “someday my prince will come” story started last year and from what I’ve read, he is an admiral man of God, a pastor no less! But like I’ve learned”“Eye has not seen, nor  ear heard, Nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him.” 1 Corinthians 2:9

Read the rest HERE.

Since last April, unfortunately, a lot changed. The main thing from what I can tell is that the two of them decided to share their road to the altar via their OWN reality series “Chad Loves Michelle.” Lord, why did they do that?  I watched every episode and really enjoyed it but seeing all of the online dissection of every exchange they had and the day-to-day events of their lives was just toxic. I truly believe that no relationship, even the most stable relationship, can truly flourish if its being scrutinized and picked apart by people outside of the relationship. I mean, according to the Bible, even our very own parents, the ones who loved us first, are not supposed to be in a couple’s relationship because what goes on in a relationship is sacred and must be protected. #LeaveAndCleave That being said, below are my 3 reasons why I’m glad that Michelle Williams and Pastor Chad Johnson appear to be “working on things” according to Page Six although they broke up at the conclusion of their reality show.

They were spotted together at the Kentucky Derby over the weekend. Check out this Instagram post from The Jasmine Brand. They look really happy 🙂

 

View this post on Instagram

 

#MichelleWilliams enjoys the #KentuckyDerby festivities with #ChadJohnson #ChrisTucker #Amerie and more

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1. Some relationships don’t start out smoothly. It was evident by watching “Chad Loves Michelle” that were issues to work out. Michelle has admitted she had some mental health concerns. They are an interracial couple so there were assumptions and belief systems that had to be worked through. Michelle seemed to be skittish regarding commitment. These are just the things that I observed not to mention the fact that Michelle is a major celebrity.  From my own experience, I know for a fact that some relationships are not easy from the onset. One person commented online that this part of their relationship was supposed to be the easiest part…According to whom? Prior to my relationship with my husband, I had never been in a relationship longer than 8 months! I realize now that I choose men who didn’t want to be committed to me and subconsciously, I didn’t want to be committed either. But when my husband came along, I knew he was special but commitment felt foreign to me. I started a lot of arguments with him as result. Thank God he was patient with me, but had this all played out on television, I’m sure folk would be telling him to run and fast…LOL…

2. How they came together looked like how God works. If you’ve been a Christian for a while, you start to recognize when something is just not good, it’s God. This is not something I can explain, well, maybe I can, but I don’t have time to this morning, but maybe on another day when I have time, I will. But the engagement story of Michelle Williams and Pastor Chad just seemed like it was divinely done. One fact that sticks out to me is the fact that Pastor Chad started saving for an engagement ring that he would present to his fiancée 11 years ago. This is what he told PEOPLE magazine: “On my 30th birthday, everybody came and celebrated me. The next day, I woke up alone. I was so lonely. I had a little pity party. My personal life was lacking so much, and I  was living so single,” recalls Johnson, who turns 41 in July. “So as a response to that moment, I opened up a ring account, and for 11 years, I put $150 into a ring account.” As the old saints say, I don’t believe He brought me this far to leave me. I don’t think God lead his servant (a pastor, mind you) to save for an engagement ring for 11 years only to have him present it to the wrong woman. When my hubby came into my life, I had declared myself done with dating. I had concluded that it must not be God’s will for me to get married because every relationship I had just disintegrated. And not longer after that declaration, God did what He does…

3. My hubby said Pastor Chad was a good dude. I know you must be rolling your eyes at this one, but hear (read) me out. Hubby and I have have very different TV viewing tastes. For example, he watches car shows, “Incredible Hulk” reruns and basketball.” I watch “Sex and the City” reruns, “The Real Housewives of Atlanta” and Wendy Williams. Well, one Saturday night, he decided to watch an episode or two of “Chad Loves Michelle” with me. Every once in a while, my hubby will watch what I’m watching but will be criticizing things the whole time. He thinks the housewives are catty and that Wendy Williams is mean and nosy. But as he watched “Chad Loves Michelle,” he said that the pastor looks like a good dude. I turned and looked at him and said, “I know.” I told him that various people online were criticizing him and I couldn’t figure out why. He told me that he didn’t know about all of that but that Pastor Chad seemed like a genuine guy, the kind of guy you could introduce your sister to because he was nice. I.WAS.SHOCKED. My hubby isn’t perfect, but my hubby and my father are the kindest men that I know. If they say you are good people, I believe them.

So these are my three reasons. Have I proved my case? What do you think?

And thankfully, Michelle and Pastor Chad are taking a different approach now that they are “working on things.” Apparently, Michelle has noticed that people have noticed they are spending time together again. This is what she said on Twitter about it…

Yes, I know that Michelle and Pastor Chad opened their relationship to the public before, but now they’ve decided to close it. That’s why you can open AND shut a door. People are allowed to change their minds and praise God, I hope they continue to mind their business and not let outsiders in it…

Any thoughts?