Category Archives: Bible

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Author Magdalina Sylvain Reveals ‘How I Lied My Way To The Altar.. And Now I’m Happily Married!’ In Her New Book!

Hello World,

One of the earliest lessons we learned in childhood is not to lie. Remember the phrase “liar, liar, pants on fire” or or how about “honesty is the best policy”? But Magdalina Sylvain, author of “How I Lied My Way To The Altar.. And Now I’m Happily Married!” believes telling lies can actually help your dreams come true! Oh, so you think I’m lying right now? LOL…Read on, y’all, read on…Below is Magdalina’s bio followed by my interview with her.

Magdalina Sylvain has practiced the art of finding her ideal husband for over 15 years. By developing a step-by-step guideline, she was able to lie her way to the altar despite all the people who told her she would never get married. She went beyond the norm and took gallops of faith which lead her in the arms of her husband. Magdalina is currently married to Dudley Sylvain and has two beautiful girls.

She shares her story in hopes to help women who are yearning to be married but just cannot seem to find Mr. Right. She too spent sleepless nights and was able to finally stop the cycle of “single me” and wants the same for you!

1. Although your story is about the process (which took more than ten years) that God took you through to meet your husband, you share many intimate details along the way about your journey including the fact that you were molested by a family friend, date raped by two men, had three abortions, dated a man who went to jail, attempted suicide and more. Why share all of that for everyone to see?

That’s a great question, and to tell you the truth, it was not easy sharing intimate details of my life. I was actually like Jonah and tried to run from it.  The decision to write the book was really about putting my faith and God to the test. Let me further explain that. One day as I was crying and praying to God asking why can’t I find my husband, God answered and told me what I was doing that was causing all the turmoil in my relationships.

He spoke to my heart and said, “If you would just trust me and do what I’ve been telling you, you would meet your husband and get married.” So, I began writing the book as a way to confirm God’s promise to me.

I never thought God wanted me to get so raw and share all my secrets.  Every time I exposed the heart-wrenching truths of my life, I would attempt to delete it, then God would convict me and say, “Now what good would that do? How will you help if you are not being transparent? Wouldn’t you have liked it if you would have come across a book that shared so much and encouraged you?”  And those words convicted me to share my life.  God told me, “It’s not about you, it’s about your sisters who can’t see beyond their turmoil and are crying for help just like you were”. So, I wrote, I shared and in the process, I was healed and delivered and grateful that I stayed true to God and myself.

It feels so good when I’m told that my book touched someone’s heart and helped heal them. That makes the sacrifice all the better.

2. You also share that your parents divorced. How did your parents’ divorce fuel your desire to have a happy marriage?

Yes, my parents divorced when I was five years old.  Both of my parents remarried and had kids with their new spouse leaving the original children feeling alienated as an outsider trying to fit into a new family.  You never really feel at home. I always felt like I was visiting. Both parents were preoccupied with their new family and naturally, we got neglected.  Obviously, this was not done on purpose, but the effects on me and my siblings were tremendous. Because of that, I always prayed that I would do everything to try and keep my family together and as happy as possible when I got married and had children.  I knew in my heart I would never want to put my children through that.

3. Despite the fact that you were saved as at 21 years old and wanted to be right with God in all of your actions, you often compromised your values when it came to premarital sex. How do you view that part of your past now that you have been married for several years? How has God redeemed these prior mistakes in your life? 

Once I decided to listen to God and do it His way, I realized that the reason I was having premarital sex was because of fear.  I was afraid the guy would not want to stick around. I was afraid that doing it God’s way would never work in this day and age.  The fear was due to my insecurities. I doubted my intellect, my beauty, my personality, and my character.  I doubted me! All the heartbreaks and constant rejection caused me to lose who I was created to be which was the complete opposite of who I believed I was. (That actually was the real sin.)

Now that I have been married for seven years, together for 10, I can look back and be thankful for the journey only because I choose to look at my past as a learning experience that happened “for” me and not “to” me.

As far as redemption, my mistakes were just that, mistakes, and God is a forgiving God.  He knew my heart. The closer I got to Him, the more I learned that it’s really about loving and forgiving myself. My sins were already forgiven, so the ball was in my court to grow from them. My growth from these experiences is how I am redeemed. As a parent, I’m most proud when I see my children realize then grow from their mistakes and overcome challenges. Any disappointment quickly vanishes from witnessing their growth. I yearn to give them more, so does my Heavenly Father. To grow is to become better. Being better attracts better. He gave me what I asked Him for, so it’s evident that I was absolved of my past sins. It was on me to acknowledge that I was already forgiven, so I just needed to forgive myself and move onward and upward.

4. In your book, you share that you confessed Scriptures often as a way to change your mind-set, but you also reveal that you went to therapy. How did therapy and Scripture work together in your life to prepare you for meeting your husband?

Thankfully, my father had always talked about therapy as a good way to get a mental checkup. Knowing that gave me the confidence to seek therapy and not be ashamed.  After I attempted suicide, I began therapy to get a non-biased insight in regard to my past, current and future life.  Therapy helped me discover some destructive patterns that reading the Bible alone was not showing me. It gave me real-life feedback that I needed.

I then used the Scriptures to change my mind-set and encourage me to become who I was supposed to become. Jesus talks a lot about your conscious mind and keeping your thoughts focused and clear.  I believe Jesus Himself was the ultimate therapist.  I believe that combining the two allowed me to reach my best life.

5. I was intrigued by the fact that you bought your wedding dress a year before you met your husband! In praying to God about meeting your mate, you also fasted for over 10 years (not eating before 5 p.m.) before you met your husband! Do you recommend that other women do the same or do similar things and why?

Okay, we are getting down to the serious stuff now.  Yes, I bought my wedding dress as if I had already met my husband and was engaged.  I went to David’s Bridal with my mother, and she helped me choose my dress.  I was not cheap. I went all in according to what I could afford at the time.  I had the dress altered and picked up, SMILING the whole way FEELING as if I really was getting married.  I had friends laugh at me and call me crazy and those same friends, sadly, today are still single.

Buying the dress alone does nothing if you do not believe or if you’re just doing it thinking it’s the act that will land you your husband. For example, I knew a woman who bought a cheap 100 dollar dress even though she could afford more and to date, she is still single. Why? I know it’s because her heart was not in it. She really didn’t buy “HER” wedding dress, the one that gives her chills, the one that moves her, she just purchased “A” wedding dress. She did it because she heard that if you buy your wedding dress, that will get you your husband, not because she knew in her heart with absolute certainty that she was getting married.  No, it’s the measure of my faith that got me my husband.  Jesus says you will get according to the measure of your faith.  I had a lot of faith!

As far as suggesting women to do the same thing, my question to them is, How much do you believe your husband is out there?  Buying the dress was the action. What you have to focus on was the measure of my faith when I purchased my dress. The feelings that it conjured in me when I went through that process. I put myself in the state of belief that it was really happening. That is the key to this action step.  To me, if you asked God for something and you believe you’ve received it, why wouldn’t you purchase your dress and prepare yourself NOW.  In other words, how much faith do you have in regard to what you’re asking for? When I purchased my dress, my faith, my energy and thoughts were all aligned believing without a doubt, I am getting married one day.  I know for sure that action was the catalyst to meeting my husband.

Let’s get one thing clear about fasting. I believe fasting builds your faith for what you are believing God for.  Fasting itself does not make things happen.  It brings you closer to God, humbles you and keeps your heart and mind pure to what it is you are praying for. It’s the sacrifice that tells God that I believe in this and in you so much, I’m willing to put something on the line and I have full faith you will deliver. It helps to align your belief level with your desired outcome. In my case, never did I imagine 10 years would go by.  It happened by accident.  One day, my spirit told me to fast and not to eat before 5 p.m. for my future husband. I thought it was for that one day, but whenever I tried to break the fast my spirit would not let me.

Until one day the feeling went away and I ate.  By that time, I had met my husband and had been dating a few months.  I guess it’s like when Jesus told the Pharisees that there is no need to fast when the bridegroom is present.  As I am answering this question, God just revealed and reminded me of that passage. (God is so cool!) Fasting is a great way to stay strong in your faith and focused until you become united with whatever you are believing God for.  If your health permits and God leads you, I do recommend women to fast.

6. The crux of your title has to do with the fact that you practiced “speaking and acting upon things that are not as if they were” or in layman’s terms, lying. Why was that act of faith key in journey?

As I mentioned earlier, buying my wedding dress was the catalyst for meeting my husband. The act of buying my dress emphasized the amount of faith that I had. I was getting married! Period. We have to Be it to Become it. Being it, is the ultimate act of faith. All of my actions were in-line with the future I believed and envisioned was already set. Act as if. I sent the energy out that I am here and ready to be married. God speaks about our thoughts and to hold them captive to the obedience of Christ.  He continues to enlighten us, saying that our words are energy and have the power to produce life or death!  My thoughts produce my words which have the power to produce life or death – how powerful is that?

So, I held those thoughts captive and replaced my limited thinking, my L.I.E.S. (Limited Ideas Entrapped In their Subconscious/Spirit )with empowering beliefs. I focused on and spoke those beliefs instead and gave them life. What you focus on expands. However, words alone are not enough as my actions alone are not enough.  They must become aligned as one. Jesus explains that FAITH without WORKS is dead; and that when you pray believe that you have ALREADY RECEIVED what you are praying for. I did just that and more!

Even though I did not see a result right away I continued to act out on faith and I am here to say IT WORKED! It was the key to transforming my mind and energy that led me into the arms of my husband and straight to the altar.

I have to believe that all this was so that I can encourage and show others how real and powerful God is.

7. Now, that you’re happily married with two children, is marriage everything you dreamed about, prayed for, worked hard for and stepped out on faith for? Is your husband your “bad boy Christian” that you always wanted? And please define a “bad boy Christian” for my readers?

Oh my Gosh, picture me on top of a mountain screaming “YES, YES, YES!” I couldn’t have dreamed of a better “Bad Boy Christian.”  Let me explain. I had prayed for a bad boy Christian which for me was a guy who had found God, lived life, did his dirt when it came to dating so that by the time he met me and married me, he would never wonder what he left behind.  He would know without a doubt that I am the best thing that could walk into his life. He would be confident and not affected by my heavy past and still love me!

I must say he is exactly what I prayed for, and as a side note, “be careful what you pray for. You will get it.” Despite my loved ones telling me, there is no such thing as a “bad boy Christian,” I gotta tell you that the mere fact that I thought of him meant that he existed! That is how powerful our minds and words are.  God said once you ask for something believe that you already received it! Girl, I truly believed.

I am so grateful that I went against the grain according to what society deems normal because I don’t believe I’d be happily married with two amazing girls today if I didn’t. I am here to help women get over their Limited Ideas Entrapped In their Subconscious/Spirit (L.I.E.S) so that they, too, can position themselves for their God destined husband and “lie their way to their altar.”

I offer one-on-one coaching to guide and support you through the steps that I took to redesign and transform myself to get there.  If interested, please visit my website at iammagdalina.com  to schedule a free 30-minute discovery session and to find out more. You can also grab a sneak peek to the first two chapters of my book “How I Lied My Way To The Altar.. And Now I’m Happily Married!” while you’re there.

So y’all, did I prove my case? Did I prove that you can lie your way to your dreams? LOL. As a gift to you, Magdalina has given me an e-book copy of her book to give to you. The reader who tells me the best lie you’ve ever told in the comments will receive this copy! So look out for my comment on your comment, and I will let you know if you’re the winner 🙂 !

Any thoughts?

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‘I Kissed Dating Goodbye’ Author Joshua Harris Announces Separation From His Wife Following Reevaluation of His Popular Book…

UPDATE: Joshua Harris Announces He is No Longer a Christian on Instagram...

Hello World,

Somehow or another, I heard of the book “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” by Joshua Harris around the time it was published in 1997. In 1997, I was a newly minted adult having earned a college degree a year earlier. As someone who managed to get through puberty in part due to Molly Ringwald movies, kissing was something I’d looked forward to for a long time and no book that said the Bible said that kissing and dating were wrong was going to deter me…

And yet as the daughter of a pastor and as a young woman who recommitted to my faith following college graduation, I pondered if what Joshua Harris wrote in his book was actually true. Was courtship (which includes the parentals and is leading to marriage at the outset) and not dating the Christian way to mingle while single? Was kissing crossing the line?

Somehow or another, I decided even after I recommitted to my faith that despite the fact that his book was a runaway bestseller and the fact that I had met a few single Christian guys who advocated courtship (weirdos in retrospect), it was rubbish. But on the other hand, I had read the verse about fleeing fornication and another verse about being modest as a Christian woman and still another about not awakening love until it is time and I wondered if I was just being “in my flesh” as some Christians say.

But as I’ve always questioned authority, I decided over numerous conversations with God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit that my relationship with the triune God (the three parts of God) would have to govern my actions in mating, dating and relating. And still, if you date more than a few years, about 20 in my case including high school, you start to wonder if maybe those folks who didn’t kiss before their wedding day and courted and got married right around puberty or right after college were right after all. I’m not writing all of this to say that I take any pleasure in the fact that Joshua Harris recently announced via Instagram that he and his wife have separated…

Because as a married woman of nearly six years, I know this must have been a heartbreaking decision to make. But I am writing this to say that with the insight of age and hindsight, some of these extreme views on how to conduct yourself while dating as a Christian can really stunt your growth as a relational person in general. (And please know that I don’t know why Joshua and his wife are separating nor am I speculating as to why…) And I think “groupthink” galvanized by a book or whatever the medium doesn’t take into account a person’s individuality. I think each person, according to his or her relationship with God and the counsel of wise friends, associates, books including the Bible, etc., has to figure this thang out. For example, we all know that Christians are supposed to flee fornication prior to marriage but what does that look like at 40 years old versus 20 years old? Now, I know why many up and got married at 21. Sex, basically. And I’m not even saying that is wrong in each and every case. But what happens when for whatever reason, marriage doesn’t happen until later in life?

Somehow I missed the news that Joshua came to the same or at least a similar conclusion that I did. Below is a portion of his statement about his book “I Kissed Dating Goodbye.”

While I stand by my book’s call to sincerely love others, my thinking has changed significantly in the past twenty years. I no longer agree with its central idea that dating should be avoided. I now think dating can be a healthy part of a person developing relationally and learning the qualities that matter most in a partner. I recommend books like Boundaries in Dating by Dr. Henry Cloud and True Love Dates by Debra Fileta, which encourage healthy dating.

There are other weaknesses too: in an effort to set a high standard, the book emphasized practices (not dating, not kissing before marriage) and concepts (giving your heart away) that are not in the Bible. In trying to warn people of the potential pitfalls of dating, it instilled fear for some—fear of making mistakes or having their heart broken. The book also gave some the impression that a certain methodology of relationships would deliver a happy ever-after ending—a great marriage, a great sex life—even though this is not promised by scripture.

I’m glad that he referenced Dr. Cloud’s book “Boundaries in Dating” because his book helped me a lot while I was dating. His views made sense to me as a grown woman dating and I encourage any person who wants to have a balanced, Christian approach to dating to read his book. Apparently, Joshua made a documentary regarding his reevaluation of his book and ultimately decided to discontinue its publication with the approval of his publisher. (Below is the trailer for the movie.)

You have to respect that. As has been said, when you know better, you do better. His book and the purity culture that sprang up around that same time had good intentions I’m certain and I do believe that some may have benefited from these ideas, but I don’t think that it helps anyone to say adhering to a certain set of beliefs will work the same for everyone. We come from God alone and we return to Him alone and that individual journey must be respected. Am I making sense?

Anywho, Slate has an excellent article about Joshua Harris and what had happened…

AND this as well:

 

View this post on Instagram

 

My heart is full of gratitude. I wish you could see all the messages people sent me after the announcement of my divorce. They are expressions of love though they are saddened or even strongly disapprove of the decision.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ I am learning that no group has the market cornered on grace. This week I’ve received grace from Christians, atheists, evangelicals, exvangelicals, straight people, LGBTQ people, and everyone in-between. Of course there have also been strong words of rebuke from religious people. While not always pleasant, I know they are seeking to love me. (There have also been spiteful, hateful comments that angered and hurt me.)⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ The information that was left out of our announcement is that I have undergone a massive shift in regard to my faith in Jesus. The popular phrase for this is “deconstruction,” the biblical phrase is “falling away.” By all the measurements that I have for defining a Christian, I am not a Christian. Many people tell me that there is a different way to practice faith and I want to remain open to this, but I’m not there now.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Martin Luther said that the entire life of believers should be repentance. There’s beauty in that sentiment regardless of your view of God. I have lived in repentance for the past several years—repenting of my self-righteousness, my fear-based approach to life, the teaching of my books, my views of women in the church, and my approach to parenting to name a few. But I specifically want to add to this list now: to the LGBTQ+ community, I want to say that I am sorry for the views that I taught in my books and as a pastor regarding sexuality. I regret standing against marriage equality, for not affirming you and your place in the church, and for any ways that my writing and speaking contributed to a culture of exclusion and bigotry. I hope you can forgive me.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ To my Christians friends, I am grateful for your prayers. Don’t take it personally if I don’t immediately return calls. I can’t join in your mourning. I don’t view this moment negatively. I feel very much alive, and awake, and surprisingly hopeful. I believe with my sister Julian that, “All shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.”

A post shared by Joshua Harris (@harrisjosh) on

 

 

Any thoughts?

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Executive Produced By Stephen Curry & Viola Davis, New Documentary ‘Emanuel’ Comes to Theaters on June 17 and 19 Only!

A Review of the Documentary That Honors the Emanuel A.M.E. Church Shooting Victims & Highlights the Power of Forgiveness in the Wake of Tragedy...

Hello World,

Tonight, thousands of churchgoers throughout the country will convene at their respective churches for Wednesday Bible Study. Where Sunday Morning Service can be a spectacle in many churches, Wednesday Bible Study is less of a production and as a result, more relaxed. Many of those who show up on Sunday don’t on Wednesday so the gatherings tend to be smaller. In many smaller churches, the members gather in a room that is not the sanctuary and even sit in a circle of chairs. Although the church is primed for visitors on a Sunday morning, a visitor or two may amble in and be welcomed to the fold without much ado on a Wednesday.

Maybe that’s why 21-year-old white supremacist Dylann Roof chose a Wednesday Bible Study to show up at South Carolina’s Mother Emanuel A.M.E. Church, the oldest A.M.E. church in the South, to slither in and sit among the people he intended to slaughter. In the Bible, it says the Lord will show up like a thief in the night so we must be ready but the devil knows the Word too. Roof’s slaughtering of 9 Emanuel A.M.E. members, the historical threads that led to what unraveled that fateful day, the astounding forgiveness of Roof by the family members of those whose lives were stolen and more is explored in the documentary EMANUEL. Marking the 4th anniversary of this distinctly American act of terror, EMANUEL will be in movie theaters across the country on Monday, June 17 and Wednesday, June 19 only. I was able to see a screener of this movie, which is from executive producers Stephen Curry and Viola Davis, co-producer Mariska Hargitay, and director Brian Ivie, and I was in a word “moved.”

While the news coverage of the church shooting was rightfully plenteous, EMANUEL was an exhaustive exploration that simply cannot be covered in the constraints of a news story. It has been said that “nothing comes from nothing” and that is true in the case of the Emanuel A.M.E. Church shooting as well. Apparently, Charleston, where Mother Emanuel A.M.E. is located, is called the “Holy City” although the unholy had a safe harbor there. Charleston was the capital of the slave trade and roughly 40 percent of slaves who entered this country entered through this city. In fact, the amount of black people in Charleston was so voluminous that the city had a black majority. Freed slave Denmark Vesey, who helped to found the African Methodist Episcopal Church, planned to lead a slave revolt there until his plan was discovered. Vesey’s church, where he able to galvanize members to revolt with him, was burned after he was executed for his actions.

And then in modern day times, you have Rev. Clementa Pinckney, who was not only senior pastor at Mother Emanuel A.M.E., he was a member of the South Carolina Senate.  (Thank God for progress!) He spoke about black people having the freedom to be what God intended intended them to be and that sometimes death would be required for that freedom to come to fruition.  Saints, it was no accident that Roof choose Charleston and Mother Emanuel A.M.E. church.

Family members of the slain members were interviewed in EMANUEL. I was touched by all of their testimonies by I was most touched by the testimony of the Reverend Anthony Batiste Thompson, who is the pastor of Holy Trinity Reformed Episcopal Church of Charleston. Rev. Thompson was married to the late Myra Thompson, who was killed in the shooting.  Thompson, like Samuel in the Bible, was called to the ministry as a boy. While Samuel heard the voice of God in the house of the Lord, Thompson heard the voice of in a Piggly Wiggly parking lot! He heard someone call his name three times although he was in the parking lot alone. It was after the third time that he realized it was God and that God wanted him to be a preacher.

Many years later, on that tragic Wednesday night, he wondered why his wife Myra was so happy as she readied herself for Bible Study. He said she was “overjoyed” and “floating in the house.” He wanted to ask her why she was so happy because he had nothing to do with it. (Just like a man to say something like that, LOL. My husband is not only source of my happiness and he should be happy that’s true!) He said he decided he would ask her why after she returned from Bible Study so as not to affect her high. He usually hugged or kissed her before she left the house but this time he was in the bathroom just as she was leaving and she was in a rush. She told him to catch her at the car. But he didn’t get to her car on time either. He said after the shooting, he realized why she was so happy and why he couldn’t touch her. “God had already scooped her up.” Imagine that? She was already in the loving arms of Jesus. No earthly love can compare.

Thompson said it was the voice of God, which he originally heard as a five-year-old boy, that told him to forgive Roof and tell him so during a bond hearing just TWO days after Roof murdered his wife. Since then, Thompson penned his book “Called to Forgive: The Charleston Church Shooting, a Victim’s Husband, and the Path to Healing and Peace” which was release this month through Baker Publishing.

Many of the family members of the victims expressed their forgiveness of Roof, which shocked many and angered some. But not all family members were able to instantly forgive Roof. Melvin Graham, who is the brother of shooting victim Cynthia Hurd, has not been able to do so. While expressing admiration for those who forgave, he said, “I’m a work in progress.” I get that.

Other key points in the movie that affected me:

  • Polly Sheppard’s account that Roof let her live so that she that she could “tell the story.”
  • Felicia Sanders, who was a human shield over her granddaughter, watched her son Tywanza Sanders get killed, after he confronted Roof. Tywanza told Dylann that “we mean you no harm” but that did not matter to the terrorist. Thankfully before he passed, Sanders was able to tell her son, “Tywanza, I love you,” and his last words were, “Mom, I love you too.”
  • Charleston’s Chief Coroner Rae Wooten’s examination of the bodies revealed that Roof had ambushed them without warning.
  • Not only was Roof captured and arrested without being killed in the process, he was given Burger King.
  • When President Obama sang “Amazing Grace” at the homegoing for Rev. Clementa Pinckney. Lord knows I miss me some him. Can I get a witness?

There are many astounding accounts such as Felicia Sanders’ pink-paged Bible and Chris Singleton’s wrist-written Scripture, but I cannot give the whole documentary away. But hopefully, I have told you enough to make you want to see it for yourself. I highly recommend doing so…

Below is a trailer for EMANUEL:

EMANUEL focuses on the incredible forgiveness that was demonstrated by the victims and their family members, and how that forgiveness prevented potential backlash by the in response to the racially motivated crime. The movie was made in direct partnership with the City of Charleston and the families affected by the tragedy . The producers of EMANUEL will donate their share of profits from the film to the survivors of the shooting and the families of the victims

For more information on EMANUEL, please visit, www.emanuelmovie.com.

Any thoughts?