Hello World, 
How ironic that the morning I commence to write a post on the fine art of cooking and cleaning in a marriage, the pilot light of our stove goes off! And I was starting to make turkey stroganoff too…Guess we will be eating at my mama’s house or out for Sunday dinner…LOL…(I’m laughing on this post, but on the inside, I’m a bit worried as I’m a frugalista and like to keep money in my pocket…Oh well…things break…such is life…)
If you are reading this post, I’m reasonably sure you didn’t come here to read about me whining and moaning and groaning about a pilot light…but pardon me, if every few sentences or so, I whine a bit…LOL…So with that being said, on to today’s post…
As a single woman, cooking and cleaning weren’t a big deal…I either did or didn’t…Either way, no biggie. No one had to see my house but me, and if I didn’t feel like cooking, eating out was just as easy an option…Not so when a man is around who likes to eat meals that your mama would make…meals with large quantities of meat and side dishes and such…
So what’s a tried and true single girl who finds herself married supposed to do?…Well, nothing very quickly…And some of this may provoke the ire of my more feminist sisters, but even though I have some feminist beliefs, I don’t call myself one…But I decided to consult my recipe books and find recipes for meals that a man would eat…not the vegetarian or lite entrees that I whipped up for myself from time to time…I did try to make some of those dishes for him, but he either didn’t like them or complained that he was still hungry after eating them…LOL… 
So slowly but surely, I’m getting more familiar with meat…I still don’t know how to cook a whole chicken, but since I’ve been married, I’ve made curry chicken, barbecue chicken, stroganoff, etc. with side dishes and more…I try to cook Sunday dinner every Sunday which is a big deal considering that although I bought my first home in my ’20s, I was at my mama’s house every Sunday for dinner until a year ago…In fact, for most of the three years that Robert and I dated, I brought a plate of food from my mama’s house to either my home if we were hanging together after church or over to his home.
And cooking during the week has been a challenge for me too…I work pretty hard every day. I have a job, and I have some freelance gigs plus I teach at a gym…plus I’m working on my second novel…So usually during the week when I got home during my single days, I would chill for a while and then get back up and work some more. Since I’ve been married, now I have to consider someone else too. And since men like to eat during the week too( 🙂 ), I had to figure out easy meals that I could put together and still have some chill time when I get home….
I’m still working that out but I have discovered these awesome grilled chicken breasts from Trader Joe’s. They are individually wrapped in plastic. You can just throw those suckers in boiling water and within minutes, they are cooked and juicy too! And Wal-Mart has these convenient bags of assorted frozen vegetables that cook very quickly and go very nicely with the chicken breasts. Within 15 minutes or so, I can feed the big lug 🙂 That is my go-to meal on weeknights…I’m still working on others…And I usually make a pot of soup or something very simple for me at the beginning of the week, and I can eat that for days…
Now on to cleaning…Now that I’m living with someone, I see without a doubt how truly messy I am…I can leave a piece of paper on the floor in the same spot for months…Robert teases me that although my office looks like papers have carpeted it, I know where are all of my papers are located…That’s funny but kind of sad…I’ve been praying to be neat or at least neater for years…I was raised by a very neat Jamaican mother that considers it her personal failure that I have not followed in her footsteps…when I left her home, I think I rebelled…I stopped folding clothes as soon as they came from the dryer, and I didn’t dust every Saturday and all of the things that I had to do when I lived with my mother and father…but now that I’m living with someone again, I see the benefit of having a tidy home…An associate once said to me, “Having a clean home makes you feel rich.” That is true…I love being in a neat person’s home…I cannot explain why…Lately, I have found myself holing up in my hubby’s closet to read because it is so neat in there…(Shhh, don’t tell him.) Hopefully, one day, God will work a miracle in my life, and I will automatically hang up clothes when I take them off and walk around with a sponge like my mom does…
Finally, some of this is what I was scared of years ago when I saw a lot of my friends, sorority sisters, classmates and more get married years ago…God knew what He was doing when He took his time in bringing the right man for me into my life…I wasn’t and didn’t want to be ready for all of this…I was selfish and wanted to keep it that way….But as has been said, God doesn’t called the equipped, He equips the called…He is equipping me to be a wife and all that it entails….
One year down (a week from today) and forever to go…
Any thoughts?
Note: This is the second in series of three posts I’m writing about being married for a year as of next Sunday 🙂 To read my first post, go to Couples’ Night – Going From ‘Single Lady’ to ‘Smug Married’…
Congratulations on completing the first year of marriage. I’m so happy for you. I love this blog post. I wasn’t single as long as you were, so it was a little easier for me to transition from my single ways. I’d been cooking at least twice a week since was 13 because my mother worked a few long days and I wanted my daddy (yes, I’m his girl) to have a nice hot meal. But Once I got married I have to admit I resented cooking every day. It was such a burden for the first few years that I resented being married. Hubby helped a little so we worked it out. I taught him to do laundry and while he ruined some things along the way, he learned and it didn’t become all my chore. However, I’ve been divorced for nearly five years now and I have completely slipped into my old ways of cleaning when I want to (which is not daily and dare I admit, not even often), hoarding my clutter and cooking when I feel I must which is probably only 3 days a week. I recently had a marriage proposal and quickly realized I couldn’t possibly marry this man because no way was I becoming the wife I used to be. I did 13 years of cooking and cleaning as a wife-requirement. I’m not sure I can do it again. So, with that said, my comment is better you than me. I don’t want a man that bad. LOL. No, really, I think you have an awesome attitude. God will bless that. P.S. Youtube has some great recipe channels. I’m moving away from meat and learning to make some great things with tofu. 😉
I figure I had nearly 40 years of being completely selfish so I guess I have up the rest to be a so-so domestic goddess 🙂
Hi Jackie, thanks again for being so transparent. Of course and as always, different strokes from different folks. I know very few women who are (even able) to work a full time job, handle another hustle, cook everyday and do all the cleaning. While my mom cooked quite a bit and cleaned, my dad also helped out. A few of my aunts who were stay-at-home moms did a lot more. I find that balancing the chores works a little better for me – who is going to do what? It also helps to cook meals in bulk and freeze things or eat on them for a few days (vs having to cook every single day). This is also where spending time with (positive and happily married) other couples come in handy. I have learned so much about sharing household and other responsibilities from others. Find your groove :-).
Girl, I don’t all of the cleaning. I do some of it. He washes his own clothes because he is particular about that kind of thing 🙂 I’ve never been good about freezing stuff…My mom does that too! Such a grown up thing to do, and still feel like a kid sometimes – a kid who is now a wife 🙂
Witt that said, I think you all are good to go so you should delete this post! Lol j/k