Hello World,

Although I quietly followed the relationship saga of disgraced YouTube relationship influencer Derrick Jaxn and his wife Da’Naia Jackson, I had very little to say on the situation because I felt compassion for new Christian Da’Naia Jackson. In my early days as a Christian, I probably appeared to be crazy too when it came to some of the choices I made in my love life and how I thought I heard from God. Thankfully, I did not get married during that time period nor make any relationship decisions that I couldn’t undo because the results would have likely been disastrous…

If you’re unfamiliar with what transpired between the Jacksons, please catch yourself up by reading this summary by Madame Noire writer Shannon Dawson…

In 2021, Jackson was dragged into the court of public opinion when her ex-husband Derrick Jaxn confessed to cheating in a cringey YouTube video.  Jackson donned a black bonnet and timid expression, holding her former husband’s hand as he admitted to his infidelity.

At the time, the devout Christian said she had “made peace” with the famed relationship coach’s creepin’ and that they were working to rebuild their marriage. But things eventually turned sour between the pair.

After four years of marriage, in December 2022, Jaxn filed for divorce from Da’Naia. But shortly after the split, social media users couldn’t help but notice the shy and submissive influencers glow up online.

Read the rest of the article “Da’Naia Jackson Riding The Wave Of Newfound Fame With Costly Infidelity Bootcamp” HERE.

After reading this article and learning about her H.E.A.L.E.D: Infidelity Recovery Bootcamp, which costs $990 at the base level and up to $4997 for one-on-one coaching, I felt compelled to add my commentary. Last month, she was interviewed by Laterras R. Whitfield on his Dear Future Wifey Podcast and the two-episode interview went viral. I listened to both episodes and I was encouraged by how composed she seemed after seeming so unhinged before. But after learning about this bootcamp, I find myself doubting where she says she is versus where she actually is in her healing journey. So as her big sister in Christ, I am writing this commentary hoping that she will see it. And I hope other women who may be in a similar situation will see it and take note as well. So below is my “Seven Things Da’Naia Jackson, Wife of YouTube Relationship Influencer Derrick Jaxn, Should Be Doing Other Than Charging for Her High-Priced H.E.A.L.E.D: Infidelity Recovery Bootcamp…”

1. Get Properly Divorced. While it is stated in the Madame Noire article that Derrick Jaxn is Da’Naia’s ex-husband. In the Dear Future Wifey Podcast, she said that the two are still married although he reportedly filed for divorce last year. Please see what she said at 1:26:30 in part two of the interview. Unless they are actively working through their issues in their marriage, I wonder why they are still legally married. And if they have chosen to stay married, is choosing to stay married in the wake of infidelity covered in the infidelity recovery bootcamp?

2. Go Inward Not Outward. I appreciate that Da’Naia is experiencing a “glow-up” after appearing in a bonnet alongside her husband in a video in which he detailed his infidelity. However, a glow-up is not necessarily indicative of being grown-up. I  can attest that some of my best growing up took place while I was wearing my own bonnet. I cannot tell you how many times I have prayed and cried, journaled, read, etc. while wearing a bonnet in the privacy of my home.  And the end result has been a woman who not only looks good on the outside but feels good on the inside. I never watched Derrick Jaxn’s videos until he was exposed by Tasha K, but within a few minutes of watching a video or two, I could tell that this was not a man who should be doling out relationship advice. Discernment is not something you can put on. It comes after spending time with God.

3. Fast From Social Media. This is more like 2.5, but since social media is a world in and of itself, it deserves it’s own numeral. These social media streets can be dangerous and deceptive.  Social media is how Derrick Jaxn was able to build a relationship empire while he was all the while cheating on his wife. I’ve noticed that Da’Naia has posted herself several times in new clothes, makeup, etc. on Instagram since the divorce announcement.  I have to wonder if she trying to prove something via social media. Is she trying to prove to Derrick that she can still look good despite all that he has done? If so, I understand. However, as I noted in number 2, healing comes from the inside, not the outside. But social media encourages validation from outward sources, sometimes to our own detriment. To counteract that, sometimes we have to fast from social media.

4. Allow Yourself To Be Tested. I love me some chocolate and other sugary treats! But I have worked very hard to not succumb to my worst impulses that will have me overweight and unhappy. One of the ways that I knew that I had received healing in this area is that I can be around some of my former favorite sugary treats and not even been tempted by them. I can see how some women including Da’Naia were attracted to Derrick Jaxn as a chocolate man. She noted in her recent podcast interview that even before they were married, she knew she was one of several women that he was sexing! While she may be working to get over the hold he had on her, what is she going to do when the next hunk of chocolate comes at her? When you are no longer tempted by a certain man or men like him, you know you have been healed. She said in the podcast interview that she is not dating, which is good since she is still married. However, when the time is right, she needs to see if the same type of man is tempting to her. If he is, she still has work to do.

5. Get Healing For Your Father Wounds.  Da’Naia also noted in the podcast interview that her relationship with her father influenced her relationship choices. I think that is a wise conclusion. So much of who we are comes from our relationships with our parents.  However, given the timing of her relationship as recounted online, I have to wonder if truly enough time has passed by for these deep-rooted issues to be healed. I have to take this time to recommend Overcoming Father Wounds: Exchanging Your Pain for God’s Perfect Love by Kia Stephens as a resource for those who may be experiencing hurt as a result of father wounds. While my relationship with my father is an affirming one, I believe that God has gifted Kia with a ministry for people who have experienced challenges in their relationships with their fathers.

6. Make Sure Your Children Are Good In Their Relationship With Their Father. Sadly, if Derrick would do this to Da’Naia, the mother of his children, I have to doubt that his relationship with their children as their father will not be unscathed…Hopefully, they will not suffer in the same way as their mother did in her relationship with her father…

7. Just Wait. As I noted previously, healing takes time. Nary six months have passed since the divorce announcement and now Da’Naia has been healed?! She also noted in the podcast interview that she worked behind the scenes in her husband’s business although many of his followers didn’t know he was even married! It’s clear that Derrick has her to thank for much of his success. She is intelligent and is very savvy at social media strategy, so much so that these high-behind prices she is charging for her H.E.A.L.E.D: Infidelity Recovery Bootcamp almost makes it seem like a scam. In fact, some are wondering if her husband is behind it all and the two are in cahoots…I doubt it, but stranger things have happened. How do she prevent this scrutiny? Wait. As the Bible says, there is a season for everything under the sun. Maybe her infidelity recovery bootcamp (and teachers do rightly receive additional scrutiny as noted in the word)  will be healing to some women in similar situations, but is NOW the time to launch them? I say, “No.”

So that’s all I have for now…

Any thoughts?

P.S. Do y’all know that Derrick Jaxn got the nerve to still be doling out relationship advice…He has a course going on TA-DAY!!! It’s called Secrets to Making an EVOLVED Man Crave You! How he know? You stoopid if you sign up for this…

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