Hello World,
My all-time favorite TV newlyweds…Dwayne Wayne and Whitley Gilbert Wayne from “A Different World”
I wonder how long you are a technically a newlywed…According to Psychology Today, two years is the maximum to be considered a newlywed…That’s good because although Robert and I have been married over a year now, I’m experiencing new things all the time with him and have no idea how to navigate the newness…
One area that I am ever considering is the dreaded s-word…If you are a Christian wife, you already know…I am referring to SUBMISSION (yes Jesus…the word that scares me more than a Stephen King movie…And the only reason I can sleep in complete darkness now is because I have someone sleeping with me…so I’m a scary person by nature…) Ever since my pastor, who you know is my father if you have read my blog posts for any amount of time, preached on submission this summer, I have been wondering just what it means in my marriage or any marriage…
After I got over the weirdness of thinking my father preached that sermon directly to me (since he knows firsthand that no one but God is the boss of me), I started considering just what it means to be a submitted wife…I’m still not sure, so I kinda moved on in my head…(read: relegated it to the recesses of my mind) but when I saw a FB post by FB friend and fellow author Demetria Lucas D’Oyley, also a newlywed, I began thinking about S-word again in earnest…Basically, she said was wondering about the term and noted that it was a concept that rarely came up as she consulted with various married couples leading up to when she got married and that submission seems to be only a Christian concept…She got 146 responses from that singular post…I even commented a few times…
I made a few a definitive statements probably leading people to believe that submission makes me feel like this…
But the rest-my-hand-on-the-Bible truth is that submission makes me feel like this…
I want to speak in tongues and run all up and down the church aisle because seeking guidance from God because I just don’t know what to do sometimes...
Case in point…Yesterday hubby and I went to stove shopping…We agreed on a budget…That part went smoothly…But the rest of it…not entirely smooth…
First point of contention…Hubby and I have known for several months that we needed a new stove so because hubby is always excited about buying new gadgets even domestic ones, he researched various stoves that he thought would be a good months ago….Me, ever the procrastinator, didn’t start researching until yesterday…that’s right the day we had designated to shop…
Second point of contention…When I did started my research, I started with Clark Howard…He represents all things good when it comes to lovable geekdom and saving more and spending less…He recommends that you should NEVER buy an extended warranty on appliances because they are basically useless as most appliances are pretty reliable nowadays…Hubby disagreed with Clark…
Third point of contention…The bells and whistles…Hubby has duly noted that I…and I hesitate to admit this…am not a domestic goddess…Cleaning anything (except my body) is usually not my first thought…Should we pay for additional bells and whistles like self-cleaning and what not? Hubby said yes…Me…see above…I’m all about that saving more and spending less even if means that I only clean the stove if I think someone will see it…
By now, you are probably wondering did hubby have his way or did I? I won’t share all of my business here but I’m happy to say we are the proud owners of a brand new stove…the first time I’ve ever bought a major appliance even…
But this morning, I’m wondering what was the submissive thing to do in this situation?…
If you are unfamiliar with the term submission, below is how it is mentioned in the Bible…
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Ephesians 5:22-24
Below are a few stories, interviews and blog posts I have found about submission that I plan to read and think about…
- “What’s So Scary About Submission: Six Secrets About What the Bible Really Teaches?” by Kevin Miller on todayschristianwoman.com
- “5 Christian Men Talk Candidly About ‘Distasteful’ Women, Submissive Wives and Why Sex Is So Important” by Nicola Menzie on christianpost.com
- “The Top 10 Things That Submission Is Not” on warriorwives.net
- “7 Misconceptions About Submission” by Mary Kassian on girlsgonewise.com
- “Liberated Through Submission With Bunny Wilson” by Nancy Leigh DeMoss on reviveourhearts.com
So how do you define submission, and what has it meant in your marriage? Does submission only work for Christian couples?
Any thoughts?
Hey lady! Good to see you and hubby are doing well. As you know, I too am a newlywed 🙂 Although not a Christian, I value submission to my husband. Most that know me would probably be shocked by this but as I am far from tradition and value my independence but I submit (<—see what I did there) that these things are not mutually exclusive. To me, submission in marriage means that I trust in the man that I chose as my lifelong partner to be the head of our household as we have defined it for ourselves and our family. Honestly most of our decision-making is a shared responsibility but I don't have a problem with defaulting to his should we disagree. I wouldn't have married him if I didn't trust that our family could live with his decisions. So I guess submission to me is all about trust.
Yes, you definitely have to trust your husband’s judgment to submit to him…