Hello World!!!
For the past two weekends, I have been hanging out with the girls celebrating birthdays, popping bottles, donning funky platform shoes, eating appetizers and spending money…
And if you read a previous post on my financial state, you know that I am trying to “save more, spend less and avoid getting ripped off.” (Clark Howard’s motto) Per my financial coach, I am curtailing my spending money to $100 a month for a while to help pay down some debt and add more to my savings…and it’s working…but $100 isn’t a lot of money it seems…And my eating out money is supposed to come from that $100 according to my financial coach…So when some friends and I decided to celebrate another friend’s birthday by taking her out to eat about a week ago, I made a game plan…And let me backtrack a little…these particular friends are fabulous and don’t mind spending a pretty penny and more on food, drinks and good times…So I made a game plan because with these friends, I’m liable to have more than my share of alcoholic beverages and then be mad the next day when I’m looking over the bill and wondering how I could have drank all of that cash the night before…
So the birthday girl, knowing my cheap nature, started off the dinner saying that she was contributing to the bill. Obviously, that was her way of saying, “I know you’re cheap, and I don’t want you to worry about paying for my meal because I want to eat and drink what I want…” And I appreciated that…(It is typically my friends’ policy to pay for the meal of the birthday girl we are celebrating.) But at the end of the night, some five to six hours later, as I was putting gas in my car at a deserted gas station and looking around for potential carjackers, I realized that I spent $20 more than what I budgeted for. But hey I decided to chalk that one up to the game…You win some…You lose some…It could have been worse…
So Friday night, when I received a near midnight text that the girls and their men wanted to spend Saturday evening at the Hotel Palomar, I knew that it would be yet another temptation to go outside of my budget…But like a kid following the siren song of the Pied Piper, I went along…and we had fun…and the bill was nearly $500 when DKW and I left…
Before you get me wrong, this is not a criticism of my fabulous friends…If you have the money and want to spend it, that’s your business. But it does bring a larger question into focus…is there such a thing as a financial compatibility? Do you have to hang around people who have the same spending habits that you have? I enjoy having friends of various spending sensibilities. DKW and I are cheap…We get excited about coupons and free events…But I also enjoy hanging out with my fabulous friends when I want to spend literally and figuratively a night on the town…And the Hotel Palomar is a fabulous place to spend a summer evening…The beautiful lounge is atop the hotel. As I sipped my breakfast caipiriha, felt the breeze in my locks and gazed at the twinkling city lights, I almost felt like I was at the beach…(My financial coach and I agreed that I would not take any trips until at least December so I imagine I won’t see the beach again until next year, God willing…) 
We have all heard that money issues can be the death of a marriage but what about your friendships? As I said, I think it’s possible to have friends of all types.
Any thoughts?
This is a great topic, Jackie. Throughout my life, I have often felt awkward around friends who I perceive to have a lot more — or a lot less — than I do. I know it shouldn’t matter, but money is a factor is almost every activity that friends partake in. If the wise thing is to spend within one’s means, and we all have different means, then what’s a friend to do? I think we all have to make personal decisions on how we’re gonna spend our money. Your $100 budget for fun & frivolity is a great start on reining in the spending. If I don’t “tell my money where to go” as Christian money guy Dave Ramsey says, it will leave me. Which means I have to make choices. Even the Fabulous friends are making choices. Since you can’t see their bank accounts or their debt, you don’t know the consequences of their choices, and it’s none of our business anyway. All we can do is make wise decisions for ourselves. It helps me to pray about this stuff. I know God cares about how I spend my money. I never used to tithe, but since I started about a year ago, it’s really changed my perspective. I feel more generous, more trusting of God and his plans for my financial health. I also know that if I lost everything material in my life, I would be okay because ultimately, I get last dance with God. And there will be no money worries in Heaven!
Hey Girl! Don’t know if I’m in the “fabulous” group, but the only advice I can give you is some that I follow. Have a budget. I joined you guys Saturday because I wanted to hang out. I had a budget in mind and stuck to it. I attended knowing that I was not drinking. That would put me WAY OVER BUDGET since the drinks at the Palomar were averaging $11.
We all have different financial issues but like Katy said, we’re not privy to each other’s financial situations unless we share. Sometimes you may have to just say “No” if a certain invite will have you stretch beyond your limits. I’ve declined a lot of invitations this summer to events because I knew how much money I was able to spend, and I knew that in order for me to do what’s best for me and my wallet, I had to say no.
The best kind of friend to have is the one that will help you not burden yourself and understands that you have goals. So if you’re not able to accept an invitation to hang out, they understand. And at times, they are, or shall I say, WE are there to help. I’ve been where you are at with our financial coach. I am still walking that path of balance between my “wants” and “needs”. It’s so worth it!
I know at one point we discussed having Sunday dinners at each others homes. That would cut down on the cost of eating out and we would still be able to fellowship with one another. I really think we need to bring this up as a way to curb unnecessary spending. Especially at the “fabulous” prices Atlanta is trying to charge.
Stay strong girl. When you see the change in your financial house it will be an easier task. I’m having to make changes again. Just par for the course.
@Katy, I’m glad you started tithing…I literally think that because I tithe, I have witnessed small miracles in my finances…i.e. buying a home with the income I had several years back…
@Cristal, yes, girl you are fabulous, but I know that we have the same mindset with OUR financial coach…glad you have already walked the path that I am on because I am trying to be like you:)